taming the tongue

The last post, the last stop.....

2007-07-04T11:50:00.000-07:00

Greetings! We have been enormously blessed by many of you who have commented here or sent us emails with encouragement and prayers for the upcoming journey. Thank you.

This picture is basically how we're feeling today.....it a loooooonnnnnnggg way down......a long ways away.......

And now, here we are with three days left and so relying on the Holy Spirit to fight for us. We've come up against a bit of difficulty with shipping our stuff over as we have Tim's piano and guitar to ship and we are still praying for a buyer for our car. Money is tight, but God has answered all our prayers in the past regarding this journey, so we expect nothing less than His gracious, undeserved provision once again.

After praying for a sign from the Lord that He was on the move in our finances this month, I got an email from my naturopath that floored me.

You see, I have one more appointment with her before we leave for the Philippines and that visit was to include a pap smear (ah yes, the dreaded test for the offspring of Eve.....) and yet, I have been on my period for over a month now! AHHHGG! So the pap smear was canceled, but the doctor and I felt like I needed to check in and get a few supplements that I would not be able to purchase in the Philippines.

Given the kind of week we've had, I was a little hesitant to continue with the plans to see her not knowing how much the visit and the needed supplements would cost. I quickly prayed and asked the Lord to give Tim and I wisdom as to whether we spend the money it would cost or find an alternative. I wrote my naturopath asking for a rough estimate of the cost and she e-mailed me the sweetest note. I was so humbled and blessed.

In it she asked if she could pay for my needed supplements and the office visit as a donation to our ministry! I was overwhelmed. Encouraged and full of joy......Once again, God had provided exactly what I needed and humbled me in the process. Wow. What an incredible gift and I am stunned at the generosity and kindness of my naturopath!

With God taking care of all the details, I know that the car will sell and the money will come. God is so good.

His faithfulness astounds me and His grace makes me cry.

As this is my last post before I write from the Philippines, I thought it appropriate to re-direct people to our new blog site that will follow our journeys around the Philippines. It is : www.theadventuresoftimandbethany.blogspot.com

We will begin posting upon arrival to the Philippines July 9, 2007. Our flight leaves Vancouver at 10pm and arrives in Davao City Monday afternoon.

Please keep us in your prayers as there is much to accomplish and we need favor with immigration officers, shipping companies, airlines, and banks.....whew! Here we go!
Be blessed.

Further Joy and Blessing.....

2007-06-28T15:29:00.000-07:00

Greetings! Nine more days until take off! In the meantime, Tim and I are getting lots done and are getting the opportunity to spend some amazing time with friends before we go.

Yesterday I was so honored to go out for lunch with my BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) discussion group ladies. I haven't seen them since early May and while we have spent since last September studying the Bible together, we have never been able to connect outside of the classroom. Until yesterday!

My discussion group is filled with beautiful women from all over the map. Most of them are immigrants from Asia. I am the only "white chick" in the group.....I'm also the only one that cannot speak an Asian language. However, they have accepted me with wide open arms and have taught me so much in Cantonese, English, and Mandarin! I've learned ooodles more about Christ, love, and .....Korean BBQ from these precious ladies.....hence the BBQ pit in the table! I've never been to a restaurant where you buy the food and cook it yourself at your table! They had me trying all kinds of Asian goodies and with the exception of a few slimy things, I loved it all!

What overwhelmed me was their willingness and desire to connect with me before our trip....they remembered to pray for me in the discussion group when I couldn't go anymore....they sent me a beautiful card filled with messages of prayer and hope for the coming year...and even supported me with a donation for the journey. Then they bought me lunch! I was so blessed....and humbled...and grateful for the time that I had getting to know them and their journey to know Christ better.

A few of them even said they would come and visit us on their way back to Hong Kong or Taiwan! God has been so good. I am so thankful for our dear friends. They have shown me God's great care for me.

Be blessed!

"Feeling Phlegm-y" (set to the tune of "Feeling Groovy")

2007-06-26T09:46:00.000-07:00

Greetings! (Sorry, Mom, this picture was just too awesome!)

My Mom is awesome...my dearest friend and my confidant and wise counselor....a woman who reflects Christ in every area of her life....or so she desires....except for in this picture!

Yes, this is my Mom....this is my wonderful Mom in a disgusting mask....this is my dear, lovely Mom posing in the mask that she bought from a garage sale.....this is my Mom's mask that she used to scare her granddaughter, Gracie, when she was two! I have to mention that I also used the mask while visiting my parents to surprise Tim when he returned from his getaway with Paso. :) Gross, eh!?

Well, that's a bit how I am feeling as of late. I came down with a nasty fever and the attack of killer phlegm. Deep in my chest is sloppy goo making me cough and sputter. Painful and goopy, I have been sick and yet, God is still being so gracious to me.

We're still staying at my in-laws' place and this passed week was filled with good-byes and blessings.

Tim's dear Aunt Donna and Uncle Hugh treated us to an amazing feast at their house on Saturday....it was to DIE for! The food and the fellowship were such a blessing...they are the blessing.

Then on Sunday, we had our "good-bye" service and we were overwhelmed with the words of encouragement and prophetic words so many spoke over us. Many have been a part of our church family for over 7 years and to have them surrounding us along with many of our new family members was so humbling. Uncle Bob and Aunt Sylvia (whom I have spoken of many times) were there to anoint us with oil and pray a blessing over our marriage and also communicate to us how much our Father delights in us. I cried. A lot. Being sick made it more messy, too.

I think that part of the reason Tim and I feel so safe heading off into the "great unknown" is that we feel so surrounded by our family. Not our biological family, but our adoptive family in Christ. No matter where we go or what we are doing, we are completely surrounded by a "great cloud of witnesses" (Hebrews 12:1) and many who are praying for us. Even Christ is interceding for us before the Father day and night! We cannot fail. I am so grateful for my family.

Thank you for your prayers and your encouragements....we are so humbled at the grace of God in His provision of our dear family. Only 11 days until take off! Please pray our car sells this week! We'll keep you posted! Blessings!

Feeling dizzy!

2007-06-21T15:20:00.000-07:00

Greetings! Sorry for the delay....things are getting a bit goofy in our world. We just arrived back in Vancouver, BC after almost 12 days in Oregon with my family.

We had an opportunity to say good-bye to friends and family while there and though many tears were shared, the time spent was full of joy.

We even had the opportunity to spend some fantastic time with Gary and Lynn Jones who spent seven years in Davao City caring for the poor with the directors of Mercy Maternity! We had a gas with them and regretted that they would not be there this coming year.

Tim led worship at my parents' church and I got to preach! Seriously! It was the first time that I was given the whole sermon time to preach. What a humbling experience. But God was so faithful and spoke volumes.....to me, too. I even had a few people ask for a copy of it!

We spent almost everyday with my brother and sister-in-law as well as their kids. I have been so amazed at how God has used them to bless me like never before these last few months.

My parents were such a blessing, too. They went out of their way to make sure that we were provided for and that we were having a peaceful stay with them. I loved spending time with them.

Tim's parents then put us up in a B&B on Whidbey Island for a night to regroup and have some 'alone' time as we haven't been 'alone' in over a month! What a peaceful blessing and now, here we are.....back in the disheveled mess of moving.....hence this pic of Grace, my niece, swirling around in my parents' backyard. She wouldn't let me take a picture of her, so I had to chase her. In my chase, I got really dizzy, and now that we're having to get back to working on traveling stuff, I am feeling that whoozy feeling again!

With only 16 days left until we board the plane to Davao, we are busy scheduling bank visits, doctor appointments, and last minute visits with those precious to us. Whew.
God has been so faithful throughout this process and I know I will never be able to thank Him accordingly for His provision, grace, and forgiveness. We haven't always handled everything with peace and trust in the Lord, but our desire is to be a blessing wherever we go and with the help of our Father, even when things get rough, we will be. Many blessings to you all...please keep us and our families in your prayers!

Here we goooooooooo!

2007-06-12T22:25:00.000-07:00

Greetings! I'm in Oregon visiting my family, so I apologize for the delay in posting! This is the last time I get to see my side of the family before we head out to Davao! Time is going so fast, I feel like I can't keep up!

But I've been able to spend some fantastic time with my nephew, Ben, and my niece, Grace (pictured here). They are such a blessing to me and I love watching them grow.

I have also had the opportunity to hang out with my sister-in-law, hear my dad preach, go for long walks with my mom, write two book reports for school, visit my mentors and go out for coffee with dear friends. Despite the foreboding feeling of letting go, July 7th feels so far away from now. It's been hard, but very peaceful all at the same time.

God has continued to be faithful, too! We got an e-mail this week telling us that the directors of the clinic in Davao have found us an apartment to live in! PRAISE GOD! What an answer to prayer! It has four bedrooms and three bathrooms, too, so we can have the visitors we have been desiring!

It amazes me how God has answered every need with an abundance. Tim and I are so humbled by His mercy and continued grace. I am floored that such a powerful, omnipotent, and holy God would choose me....call me to serve Him....reminds me of Psalm 8:3-5! "What is man that You are mindful of Him....mere man that You should care for him." The Creator of the universe wants to use ME!?

Wow...that He would call us His children and provide for us like a father....His glory is being revealed daily to us and we are blessed. Thank you all for praying for us as we continue this journey. No doubt the prayers are being heard and God is faithful. We serve a mighty, MIGHTY God. Be blessed!

Heavy and full of joy.....

2007-06-04T20:23:00.000-07:00

Greetings! Sorry for the delay in posting....it's been pretty nutsy around here. I pray things are peaceful this week for all of you! Tim took this pic and I don't have a reason as to why I posted it....I just like the peaceful feeling it gives. I need a lot of that lately!

I am writing this while sitting in my in-laws' guest bedroom that has now become our home for the next month. They have graciously opened up their home to us despite their crazy schedule and the fact that Tim's granny is coming from Ontario tonight, too! A full house indeed. Our departure date of 7-7-07 is coming quickly!

This passed weekend, we had a benefit concert for our journey along with Chad and Naomi. Despite some mistakes, God showed us mercy and grace with a gift of over $1800. for us and about $2700. for the Bjorgan family. I'd say that's pretty cool. That's our missionary visas right there. It feels as though things are within our reach. God is showing Himself faithful in small and BIG ways....

Tim and I had the amazing opportunity to sing together at church on Sunday, too! For those of you who know me, Tim is a fantastic worship leader and we used to sing together on the worship team before we started working at the group home. Well, since we're outta a job, I get to go to church on Sunday without children so I am freed up to sing on Tim's team and even play saxophone! And you know, God was so there. I loved being able to sing with Tim once again and worship the Lord with a new sense of unity....there was a freshness about it. It felt like our worship to Jesus was flowing out of our marriage...a marriage that has faced many trials and yet, is so strong now. The unity was felt by others, too. We had so many people come up to us and share how they saw the Lord anointing us together during worship and that the presence of God was strong between us.

While I can't say I felt what they felt, I did feel a overwhelming sense of joy and Tim did, too. It was almost as though God was encouraging us and empowering our marriage...taking it to a whole new level. We know we need it in order to survive the next couple of years overseas. Wow, God is good. God is definitely preparing us for the journey in more ways than just the physical. It's been painful at times and yet, the process is more exciting than the future destination. I fully believe that God is taking us (as well as the rest of you) to the next level....urging and encouraging us to walk fearlessly into our destinies. Overcoming fear and insecurity is the hardest part.....but God has been so faithful. I am grateful. Thank you for all your prayers!

Be blessed!

Totally blessed.

2007-05-29T22:52:00.000-07:00

Greetings, friends! I hope your week has been full of blessing and joy!

God has been so good to us. Last Friday, Tim and I sent a $9,000. (US) check to Mercy Maternity Clinic to pay for my first year of midwifery training! Since October, 2006, Tim and I have been saving and raising money for this trip.....the financial cost seemed to never end. But on Friday, we learned that we had saved and raised $11,000. (CDN) towards our journey! PRAISE GOD!

Not only that, but after paying tuition, we have enough leftover to pay for our missionary visas and our first month's rent! Though we are no longer receiving a paycheck, God has provided for our needs while here for the month of June, too! He is so faithful and once again reminding us that this journey is His will and His desire for us. Heavy.

This week, we've had some good friends come and help us with moving and cleaning the house, too. Today, Tim's buddies, Michael and Allon, moved some of our belongings (the ones we didn't sell) to Tim's parents' house to be stored until further notice. My buddies, Sarah and Kate, worked their bums off cleaning house. Then we headed to North Vancouver to try out some authentic Filipino food to thank them for all their gracious help!!! FUN!

Yes, it was REALLY authentic. I had to say g'bye to my nutrition plan from the naturopath as the whole meal was white rice, shellfish, fried fish, pork tummy, and fried ripe banana with ice cream.....there wasn't ANYTHING on the table that I could have besides the water! I better get used to that! :) It was pretty tasty...it will take some work to get used to it all, though!

But God used that time to bless me beyond belief. With our buddies beside us, we laughed and talked about the crazy adventures we might encounter and the waitress joined in telling us stories from her Filipino journeys. Then we found out that the waitress and the owners of the restaurant were Christians!!! We met a man named Raymond, who was overjoyed that we were going to HIS country to minister to HIS people and he excitedly asked if he could pray for us before we left the restaurant. We gladly accepted.

Raymond prayed the sweetest prayer of protection and grace....asking Jesus to fill us wherever we go and that the Lord would prepare our path. I cried. We were so refreshed by our gracious host. God was once again communicating to us that He is with us and will connect us with the right people....Divine Appointments no matter where we go.

Our hearts are overflowing with gratitude. I feel so small. So blessed. So humbled.

Thank you for all your prayers....things are moving so quickly and yet your prayers I know are being heard....just look at what God has done!

Be blessed!

Death to Passion....the end has come.

2007-05-24T20:36:00.000-07:00

Greetings! No, this isn't a depressing, sad post....a somewhat bittersweet, happy post!

I must explain the title:

For the last four years (since we've run this group home), I have been nursing a beautiful Passion Flower (pictured here). I bought it because I needed to see REAL growth. The kids in our group home were always growing, but not very fast and sometimes it felt like they weren't growing at all. So I bought a "difficult to grow in the northwest" plant because I wanted a pet...something to watch....something to observe, something beautiful that didn't talk back, fight or hate my cooking...something to teach me.

Every year I fertilized it, killed its awful pests like earwigs and aphids. I pruned it, cut its flowers to bless others and in the winter, I would bundle it up with fleece and newspaper to make sure this tropical plant would make it to the next spring without difficulty.

The Lord used it in so many ways throughout our time here. It would grow up to 100 feet every summer!!! It was the talk of the neighborhood and I had the opportunity to tell its admirers the story of the Passion (where it got its name).

I would wait with bated breath each spring to see the first sign of growth on it....and then it would take off covering the entire fence with blossoms and bees. I knew the Lord gave the plant to me to keep me going through the tough spots in our job.

But this year, with the harsh extended winter, the Passion Flower Vine died. Yes, I went out in late February to fertilize it and realized that the bark had turned a deep brown. I fertilized it anyway and hoped for the best. Then in March, I gave it a little shake to see if its branches were soft or crackly.....soft, it was holding on for dear life. Then in April, I took the fleece off, fertilized it once more and pruned it.

Then today, with the bark as black as poop, the branches cracked off....dead. I peeled the bark to see if there was a pest that could be blamed for the death....no pest. Clean.

Then God spoke to me.....He said, "I gave that plant to YOU and now that you are leaving, I am taking it away. You aren't going to be here to take care of it and no one will be blessed by it as much as you, so I want you to take it out. Your time here is done."

For me, it was another confirmation that God has ordained our steps. We were to stay here in the group home four years, not two, not three, four. And we were to leave. The Passion Flower's season had ended and ours, too.

Saturday, we said a weepy good-bye to our favorite girls in our group home and ached deep inside. We've had them for all four years and no doubt they will always have a place in our home wherever we go.
They have grown so much...more than any plant ever could. We will never forget the Lord's goodness, His provision, and the simple pleasures He's given me.....like my Passion Flower.

Be blessed and keep us in your prayers! Week one of my new nutrition plan from the naturopath is finished! The moving sale went awesome! This week is moving week and we are running around like chickens with our heads chopped off! My dear friend, Heather, is coming this weekend to hang and be a blessing (which isn't hard for her to do!)! AND, we have a final farewell benefit concert happening at our church on June 2 featuring a number of artists! It's free and it should be a gas! Let me know if you're interested in coming. June 24th is our last Sunday at our church, too. They are praying over us and sending us off. If any of you can make it, please come as we would like to say good-bye. The service starts at 10 am. Have a blessed weekend!

the moods of millet....

2007-05-20T22:05:00.000-07:00

Greetings! Thank you all for your prayers and comments this week! It has been a doozy, woozy week, but we're doing really great.

Tim took this photo and it reminds me of something I ate this week...I'll explain......

As I had said in last post.... Thursday I visited a naturopathic doctor out in Langley and on the way there I prayed that the Lord would speak to me clearly through the doctor and that His grace would cover me. To be perfectly honest, I was scared and excited all at once. For some reason, this visitation felt different than all the others. I took the "vega test" and while taking it, the clinician talked with me about some of my issues....the bloating, the PCOS, IBS, infertility and wonky periods. She shared story after story of people who discovered the parasites, food allergies, and difficulties their bodies were experiencing and through eating differently, felt better and their health issues disappeared. I was skeptical, but I had prayed that the Lord would reveal Himself, so I had some hope.

Then I found out all the food sensitivities I've acquired.....gluten, sugar, coffee, honey, citrus fruits, tropical fruits, all dairy products, turkey, pork, shellfish, eggs, wheat, barley, nuts, certain vegetables...etc. I can eat peaches, apricots, apples, avocados, spinach, eggplant, kidney beans, carrots, celery, asparagus, millet quinoa, brown rice, beef, lamb, salmon, chicken, coconut, and cashews. That's it! And I have parasites (big surprise) and an overwhelming amount of yeast causing weight gain, food sensitivities, fatigue, allergies and PCOS! I had no idea Candida could be so toxic! My liver is fried, too. The doctor said I had a lot to work on.

I remember having yeast infections as a little girl, but I just figured they'd go away....well, apparently, yeast has consumed my whole body and it cannot digest food properly as a result and getting on antibiotics makes it worse. So now I am on a strict no bread, no dairy, no sugar, no gluten, no caffeine nutrition plan. oooky. But I told the Lord that I would do whatever was required of me to make me healthy to serve Him more effectively.

Then I discovered the cost.....the money, the supplements, and the high cost of millet, quinoa, cashews, goat cheese and organic meat....I struggled with believing that God would provide for those needs. My dear sister-in-law offered to go to the store to get the items I could eat because we were so overwhelmed with getting the moving sale ready at our house.....she came back with the whacko hippie food and I started to experiment. Millet sucks.

I tried Millet with steamed spinach, then chopped carrots, cardamom, cinnamon, salt, plain, with garlic and herbs....millet sucks. Quinoa's worse. Goat cheese is yummy and lamb rocks. Now if only I could make Quinoa taste like lamb! Mmmm.

But God is bigger than my taste buds and He will give me the discipline, courage, and endurance to get healthy. Whew.

And you know- the Lord HAS been faithful. I made cookies for our moving sale with our dear 14 year-old on Thursday night and my favorite part has always been picking in the dough and eating the first cookie out of the oven. But I purposed in my heart that I wouldn't pick and God covered me.....He took away the cravings and the temptation. I was grateful. With His help, I will be healthy enough to give Tim babies, lose the weight that has frustrated me for over 10 years, serve the Lord wholeheartedly with every bit of energy I have in the Philippines, and I'll be strong enough to endure the hardships we're about to face.

Please pray that God will continue to provide for our finances (as this nutrition bit is somewhat out of our budget) and that He will give me strength to make hard decisions and choices in this process. Thank you so much for all your encouragement and support! Only 2 more weeks until we move outta the house!!!

Be blessed.

BLAHHHHHHH!

2007-05-17T00:28:00.000-07:00

Greetings! I am not sure as to why I posted this Tim pic, but I never understood why newspaper dispensers were always so close together and some were free and others you had to pay for. Seems as though one would pick up the FREE one if they had so many choices!

Anyways...Tim and I have been spending our days cooped up in the garage preparing for the BIG MOVING SALE this Saturday and Monday. We're praying for a good turnout and clear, sunny skies. The forecast calls for rain, but I KNOW we serve the God who created the rain, so He can make it stop! :)

We're now approaching the home stretch....this is our last weekend with kids and after this benefit moving sale, we have only one more benefit before we fly away. It's a benefit concert on June 2nd at our church, The Life Center. We're praying that people will come and enjoy good tunes, good food, and give to the good cause. We have quite a ways to go in raising funds for our first year tuition, so these last few pushes gotta be good. The rest is up to God!

Despite all the chaos and busy, filled days, God is teaching me to prioritize and to take time to care for myself. Last month I had some pretty crazy issues around my period and it raised some serious red flags in my world. Between the IBS, PCOS and parasites, I have been rebuking sickness all year. In the past, I would visit specialists and doctors, but their remedies didn't help. I got annoyed and frustrated and decided to just give up on being healthy. I figured that if I concentrated on serving God and doing what He asked me to do, then He would have to make me healthy enough to do it.

But then He started speaking to me again about my health. Poor timing, I thought. He spoke through a number of sources and I finally said to the Lord, "If I am supposed to see someone again about this health junk, then you have to provide the funds and the person I am to see."

Then I gave Him a time limit....because I really hate going to see doctors and things are just too crazy right now to spend hours and hours in medical clinics. So I said, "God, if you really think I need to focus on this right now, then please send an undesignated cheque in the mail that is significant enough to pay for treatment."

No sooner did I pray that a letter came in the mail with $500. in it!!!!!!! No kidding! Then my nursing buddy came over to help me with a first aid bag for our trip and she felt like the Lord had given her the name of a naturopathic doctor that I was to see. We looked her up online and found out that she is a registered midwife!!! AND NATUROPATH! AND she teaches midwifery! How cool is that?

But then we found out she wasn't taking patients.

But then...I told the receptionist my story of being diagnosed with IBS and PCOS, that I was told I wouldn't be able to have kids (bull!), that Tim and I had been trying for five years, that I got salmonella and mennicoccl-somethingorother, that my digestive tract was wacko and I was moving to the Philippines to be a midwife in July and wouldn't be returning for a long time. She nearly dropped the phone and demanded that I come in as soon as possible. She worked it out that I would see the doctor's apprentice, a naturopath AND a midwife in training! I was stunned at God's provision. He made it so clear that this was the next step to take so that my body would be able to keep up with the cuisine, pace and lifestyle I would be facing in the Philippines.

So, today at 11 am, I drive to Langley to see this naturopath. I am cautiously optimistic and maybe the only reason I am to go there is to learn more about midwifery, make connections or just sit and be encouraged. Who knows? But God provided once again and I am grateful.

Be blessed and thank you for all your comments. They are so encouraging and such a blessing!

I'm tired!!

2007-05-13T19:28:00.000-07:00

Greetings! Happy Mother's Day to all of you ladies both natural mothers and those mothering others!

We are at the tail end of our second to last work weekend. We had to say goodbye to six precious kids this weekend.....well, some of them are precious. :)

It's been an emotional couple of days and I can tell that the kids are dealing with loss in their own ways, too. Some are downright rude and edgy, while others are weepy and "huggy". It's all a part of tying up loose ends here.

Being it Mother's Day and all, I have to say a few words about my mom.....but first.....

This week Tim got to take his mom out to High Tea at the Secret Garden Tea House on Tuesday and I got take my dear Sylvia out to High Tea on Saturday! I took the picture above to show Tim the pretty flowers on the sugar cubes! :) He was jealous! :)

Saturday was such a blessing and eating the dainty goodies in my new dress that Sylvia and I sewed together made it extra special. I felt like such a lady (which doesn't happen very often) and the company was perfect. Having Sylvia as my surrogate mother and my friend meant so much to me. She is my dearest, dearest friend. She makes even the tedious task (like hemming my dress!) fun and adventurous! What a lady!

And I missed my mom. My momma is such an incredible woman of God...she's strong and yet, so compassionate.

She has such a desire to ease others' burdens and to bless them. She's wise, but doesn't flaunt the fact that she knows what the RIGHT decision is.

She has an amazing sense of humor and can laugh in the face of misfortune and deals with mistakes with such grace.

She is constantly desiring God and His best....she seeks to know Him better daily and strives to be like Him. She takes every thought captive and allows the Holy Spirit to penetrate every corner of her being. She stands as a beacon of light wherever she goes desiring for each person to see Christ in her so that they come to know His love.

She ministers peace with her contagious laugh and welcoming smile. She makes her home an oasis for rest in a desert. It is full of beauty and life.

She always hopes for the best and prays daily for her family. She speaks well of her hubby and loves to see him happy. She enjoys her time with him and is quick to point out when she sees in him the heart of Christ.

She loves to encourage, loves to build up and desires to empower people to walk in their destiny as overcomers in Christ. She patiently waits for her Saviour's return when He will say,

"Well done, good and faithful servant, my daughter Connie, my bride....come into your Saviour's rest, my dear."

I hope I get to be there when that happens.....

Be blessed and give your momma a BIG hug...parenting is a HARD job!

Blowing in the wind.....

2007-05-10T14:36:00.000-07:00

Greetings! This week has been so FULL! Some days I feel like my head might explode and then others days, I find that the pace is just right.

Thank you all for your comments.....they have been so encouraging and a breath of fresh air! Congrats, Jenn, on arriving safely to Davao...I can't wait to hear more! God is soooo good.

Yesterday, my dear sister-in-law came to visit with our nephew, Micah. She came to help out with moving junk and even donated some stuff to our garage sale! How cool! The time spent was so great. Despite Micah's desiring to be the center of the universe (he's just at that age and soooo cute, it's hard to abstain) the two of us made a BIG dent in the garage sale work load. I was blessed that she came and then my nurse buddy came over and helped me set up a giant Foreign First Aid bag for our journey! I now have all my midwifery supplies AND a really good first aid bag! My mom and dad will feel more at ease with that! :)

Ya know, Tim and I feel very much like one of those little seedlings hanging on to the dandelion pod pictured above. Tim took that photo while in Oregon last month and I think it perfectly represents where we've been and what's to happen next.

You see, for the last few years, we have grown and been apart of a large community blossoming together, learning about the heart of Jesus and slowly dying to self.....our group contains friends, family, church members and our surrounding community. We've grown together like a dandelion papus...growing and changing.....and the Holy Spirit has been grooming us to prepare for "take off". Just like the seedlings of the dandelion, we have turned inside out and the Lord has purified us....white like the dandelion papus. Did you know that the dandelion white puff is called the fruit? When the Lord purifies us, we bear fruit, too! That's so cool.....

But now, after being fed in the community of mentors, friends, and family in Christ, the wind is beginning to blow.....

I watched today as one of those dandelion seedlings, complete with white poofy fruit, sailed in the wind. Its take off point was in the backyard and I decided to follow it.....it flew, swirled, sailed higher and higher.....then it swooped and swiveled low, almost touching the ground. Then it flew over the fence into the front yard! I was impressed! What a journey for a tiny seedling!

That little seedling had no idea where it was going or where it would end up, but it continued to sail as the wind carried it. The wind stopped and it finally landed gently in the front lawn between two large blades of green grass.

For a brief moment, I could identify with the seedling....and now it was going to MASS PRODUCE in my nice green lawn.....that's when I prayed and asked God to make our arrival in the Philippines that of the journey of this dandelion seed so far from it's original pod, but carried by the wisdom, care and love of God.....landing ever so gently, ready to plant with a result of a MASS PRODUCTION of the love of Christ. I never cared much for dandelions, but am so grateful for God's provision of His Word put to the flight of the dandelion seedling.

Thank you for all your prayers and support, everyone. You are a blessing.

And so we begin the moving dance!

2007-05-08T14:19:00.000-07:00

Yes, this is the face I am making as we begin the moving dance.....AAACCCKKK! But I must say, within this face is great joy and great peace....

Thank you for all your prayers...it has truly made a GIGANTIC difference. Tim is feeling better and though the schedule is getting nutsy and everyday is filled, we are feeling at peace and gently grieving.....

Yesterday, a good friend of ours moved out some of her wall art that was hanging in our house for the last four years and with the bits of moving we've been doing along the way, the missing art made a HUGE dent in the appearance of our home and I began to feel the chill of closing up house. We still have three more groups of kids to tend to before our contract with the Ministry is up, but the house is getting more and more empty and the grieving is becoming more real.

But with every feeling of grief is a feeling of thankfulness and gratefulness. God is giving such grace to us these days.....I'll tell you what I mean....

Sunday night we had an incredible opportunity to meet with a lovely lady named Lois from Mercy Maternity Clinic in Davao City. She was here to be in a wedding and had a short stopover in Vancouver!

We met with her over some Butter Chicken and Indian Naan. She shared about her journey to the Philippines, what excites her about midwifery and the ministry, and what we are to expect upon arrival. We were so encouraged and for the first time, I felt completely at peace with our decision to follow God's call there. Tim and I were so excited to hear of the many opportunities to bless and show Christ to individuals in the clinic and in the surrounding villages. We learned that the beach is just a walk from where we'll be and that we can do medical outreaches to surrounding villages any time we want just by phoning one person! She shared that there is so much to be done and yet, there are times of really bonding with the other staff and the natives. The journey is becoming real.

Then yesterday, I had the opportunity to visit my dear friends, Rosemary and Stan, in Langley. The time was encouraging and they made a huge commitment to support and pray for us. We were humbled and once again struck by God's provision and constant confirmation of the calling.

I then went to my old university down the street from Rosemary and Stan's to change my alumni address as we're moving indefinitely and I ran into my old worship leader that taught me so much about the sovereignty and omnipotence of the Almighty God. He taught me a lot about honoring God, not just through worship, but through every part of life. We had such a good conversation and once again, I left encouraged.

Then I came home to pick up some stuff and head to a meeting and in the mail was a package from my dear Manitoba friend, Rebecca. Inside was a beautiful note and a CD filled with songs that brought me to tears remembering the incredible faithfulness of God. He has been so good. My spirit felt full yesterday.

With only three weeks until we move and seven weeks until we fly out, every moment spent with family or a friend is a treasure. With time running short, our finances are somewhat at the forefront of our minds. We did a tally last night of how much monthly support God has provided and it came out to $1220 (CAD)!! We only need $400 more monthly to get to our goal of $1400 (USD)! We have been planning and praying since October and God is working. AND, we need just $5000. more to meet our start-up cost goal! God is moving and we are so thankful.

AND...Tim is now getting a bit of work on the side taking family portraits before we go! He has two clients lined up and we're hoping that a few more will pop up before we go. Let us know if you're interested.

Thank you again for all of your prayers and we will need an extra dosage the next 7 weeks , so please continue to pray for God's grace and provision. He is so faithful.

Also, we're having our moving sale May 19 and 21 if any of you are around and wanna come check it out. Be blessed and again, thank you, thank you!

Working and Resting....

2007-05-03T21:33:00.000-07:00

Greetings! Tim hates this picture, but there's something about it that invokes such peace to me. I love how water falls over a cliff....it has no control where it goes.....it just, well, flows....of course it flows in the direction of the current and the current has a lot to do with the way the land is shaped. But water also shapes the land creating deep ravines and waterfalls. Powerful...amazing. There's a sermon it that, I think.

This week has been one of hard work and deep rest. We were able to clean out ALL the closets, pack away the winter clothes and sort them, write some letters to bill collectors to tell them of our departure (it's kinda nice to know we won't have bills in this country collecting while we're gone!), schedule our travel clinic appointment, move lots of garage sale junk to the garage, spend quality time with our family, watch a good movie, hang with Naomi and help out with their packing, enjoy a meal with my dear friend, Emily. On Wednesday, I said my last goodbye to my BSF group and met two ladies from the Philippines who committed to pray for Tim and me...what a blessing...and a huge encouragement.....AND tomorrow we're tying up some loose ends with the Ministry of Children and Families, reprogramming computers, hanging with our girls and then we get to see Uncle Bob and Sylvia!

I have been so thankful for the Lord's peace this week. It's been a struggle to hold on to and there isn't a day that goes by that I have to lay down my expectations for Tim and myself and trust that what we accomplish in one day is all that God desires for us to accomplish.

It's easy for me to feel guilty that I didn't get enough done and I fight to stay positive....I know I am my own worst critic....time is getting short and I find that I get fixated on my own needs instead of the needs of others because there is sooooo much that needs to get done. It ticks me off. But I love it when the Lord takes me back to what is really important.....knowing Himself and tending to His purposes....thus, when I serve people, I feel the greatest joy. I don't want to lose that focus...

I think this week has been the most balanced I've felt in a long time. I've heard it said so many times that when we put God first, everything else seems to fit into place. Some weeks, though, I feel like I didn't accomplish what was needed even though I tried to put Him first.....and usually the Lord gently reminds me that those things needing to be accomplished weren't totally necessary afterall. It's so easy to get busy and no doubt it has been a busy week, but to experience a week of what appears to be 'balanced' is a HUGE blessing and I know it can only be the Lord's doing.

Be blessed and thank you for all your prayers. Please pray specifically for Tim as he is fighting a really crappy sinus cold....thanks!

Bed bugs, lice and a bit of puke......

2007-04-28T13:37:00.000-07:00

Greetings! I trust you are all doing well? I have noticed that the comments have been low as of late.....

As I shared in last post, Tim and I had a wonderful week visiting my family in Oregon. Here's another pic from the journey....my niece, Gracie, loves this little stone frog in my parents' yard. It reminds me of this weekend.....

We were so encouraged and blessed by God's provision and grace. I shared that I would need to remember God's faithfulness this week to get me through some of the difficult times that were sure to come.....

Well...they started up again on Thursday. I started getting chills Thursday morning and then
a tummy ache and painful joints.....then we went back to work with the kids and our 11 year-old brought over lice and bed bugs. Eeeww. Thursday night, I decided it would be best to nip those nits in the bum....so we treated the lice, boiled his clothes and shaved his head. It was a pretty big and ooky job, but it was done and we had some "bonding time" as a result. We're hoping the lice are gone and we're praying the bed bugs disappear...so far so good. But then the five year-old decided to be a booger. His defiance was clear and so we put him to bed a bit earlier than usual thinking that his belligerence had a lot to do with being sleepy and crabby.

Then, at about midnight, there was a knock at our bedroom door. It was our five year-old....he had puked ALL OVER his bed, the floor, over toys and books, leaving a trail of chicken, rice and vegetable puke from his room to his bathroom...then all over the bathroom...the shower curtain, bath mat and toilet. The smell was enough to burn your nose hairs and permanently damage your senses. I gagged and having the flu myself, began to hurl. Thankfully I didn't have anything in my tummy, so it was just water. Good thing, too.

So we spent the next hour or two washing, scrubbing and wiping off books, blankets, carpets and our boy sat on the couch with a bowl, some bubbly water, and a blanket. Every few minutes he'd say, "B....B....B? Who's gonna sit with me?" I explained that it was going to take two people to clean up all the puke and that he needed to stay still and rest. Yeah, right.

At 1:30 am, I finally collapsed into bed, shaking and trembling in joint pain and stomach cramps. Tim collapsed on the couch as our boy couldn't go back to sleep in his room. Tim got far less sleep with a five year-old staring at him all night.

The morning was filled with laundry washing and trying to get a hold of a carpet company that could get rid of the carpet puky smells and the stains. Our boy managed to ruin two rugs, five books, and two towels with the puke....they were just beyond help. Then we called his family to see what they wanted us to do with him....

This is where I began to go a little nutsy. His caregiver explained that he was just playing games with our heads so that he could go home....he just worked himself into a tizzy bit of stress and made himself throw up to get attention. AAACKKKK! I thought, "No kid is that nuts...throwing up sucks, there's no way he MADE himself do this....right?"

As the morning went on, his behavior got worse and worse. He was demanding and found every possible way of destroying or disrespecting our home and our authority. But he did it with such an innocent cheeky smile on his face that really could be read as devious and evil. I was stunned......and low on patience. Tim and I discovered that what his caregiver had said was totally true. Whenever he would begin to complain about his tummy aching, I would give him the bowl to puke in, but I'd say, "If you puke you can't watch a movie or play a game because you're sick." And immediately he's push away the bucket and be "just fine".

Then he'd ask for some food and juice....I'd get him just a little (because if he IS sick, I don't want to make things worse!) and he'd 'change his mind'....he wanted ice cream and cookies instead....then if I wouldn't give it to him, he'd say, "My tummy hurts, I can't eat it..." Or I'm not hungry anymore....surprise, surprise.

So we decided to treat him as a very sickly boy... bucket had to be with him at all times....no playing outdoors....he had to rest on the couch all day....no nintendo or games....just movies and rest. Needless to say, he seems to be "feeling much better" now. Mmmm. What a booger.

Oh, Lord. Give us grace to get through these next few weeks of work!

And then the Lord had my dear friend, Rebecca, call from "the promise land", Manitoba (or so she thinks). It lifted my spirits and gave me such joy....the evening got better. And then the Canucks won....that helped, too. God was giving new grace....

And today, things seem to be going better...His mercies are new every morning....no puking, no bed bugs....dead lice are gracing the linens of our older boy. Ahhh, things are slowly getting back to normal. In fact, our younger, puking boy is "all better"....no complaints of tummy pain or even appetite trouble....he is totally back to the normal boy we know....still defiant, but when I told him that sick kids can't have dessert, he miraculously recovered.....sugar covers a multitude of sins. :) If only I could take joy in the times of trial....I'm learning and God is good.

Be blessed.

This week.....

2007-04-27T12:56:00.000-07:00

Greetings! What a week it's been! As many of you know, Tim and I went to Oregon this week to visit my family and catch up with some old and new friends. Tim got lots of good pics in...hence the photo. So much to share!

But first, I have to tell you a few stories....
Tim and I have been overwhelmed with the amount of planning and business that has to take place before we leave for the Philippines and like I shared in the last post, things have not been easy. But God has been faithful and this passed weekend my friends, Heidi and Kate, came over and talked some sense into me.....

They could see that I was fried and began to sort through my long list of things that I had to do this month and the next before leaving. And ya know what they did? They delegated. They did the hard part for me....! They began to devise plans as to how to get others to help carry the load. I was in tears. The hardest part of all of this has been to ask others to help because I know that most people are busy....but Heidi and Kate cut my work load ooodles! They volunteered their services and the services of others (they just don't know it, yet!). I was truly humbled and blessed. Thank you Kate and Heidi.

But they also taught me that I cannot begin to think that I can walk this road alone....just with Tim. They shared that it is a joy to be a part of the process and that God has blessings in store for those that help out, too. I am learning not to carry all my burdens on my own.

Then this week, as I said earlier, we went to Oregon and the coolest thing happened! You see, seven or eight years ago, I worked at Starbucks in Gresham, Oregon. I loved that job because I had the opportunity to meet some interesting and amazing people. There was a little Jewish lady with a French accent that used to come in and with her beautiful smile, would order her special latte. She was very particular about that latte, too.

Over the course of a year, we got to know each other to the point of committing to pray for one another. We lost contact and I moved to Canada for good. To be honest, I didn't think much about her in university and the monotony of life settled in.

But then I was recently talking to my mom on the phone and she was telling me a this lovely little lady who was a patient of the doctor she works for. She shared that she felt a connection with this lady and told me more about her.....then it clicked! It was the SAME LADY! I told mom to see if she'd like to come to our dinner we were having with some old friends and then this little lady and I began to e-mail back and forth!

Could you believe it? She remembered me and was able to come to dinner on Tuesday....she still had that same beautiful smile and was filled with the love of Jesus (hence the picture below...see the beautiful smile??)....she shared her faith with me and we had a wonderful time. She committed, once again, to pray for Tim, the Philippines journey and for me. I was so hugely blessed. Leave it to God to be the one who reunites kindred hearts together after so many years and under such circumstances as a Starbucks coffee.

Not only that, but my parents' neighbors and my godparents, the ones I grew up with...babysitting their kids, giving them music lessons, swimming in their pool...they all came, too! And many of them committed to pray for us and even decided to financially help us! We were so amazed at God's grace and my parents were blessed by it, too. Many of them I hadn't seen in 6 years, but they were still so supportive and just a huge blessing. God was showing us that He STILL is a God of miracles and blessing.

At the end of our dinner, my godparent and her family gathered around Tim and me. They prayed the kindest prayers and did some spiritual warfare on our behalf....then they worshipped over us and even helped clean up! What an evening.....
When things get rough (as I will share in the next post), I have to remember this particular day and thank the Lord for His gracious provision and faithful encouragement. Be blessed!

Colds and Confirmations.....

2007-04-20T07:51:00.000-07:00

Greetings! Oh, how the days are getting longer, but time seems to be going faster....

Monday morning I woke up with a big, swollen gland on my neck....the "Governator" would say that it was "not a tumor"....although it certainly felt like one. I had been sore throat-y and phlegm-y for a month, but figured it was allergies caused by the beautiful display of God's Spring pleasure in my yard.....um no, it was not that.

It seemed I had a bacterial infection in the glands in my neck associated with sinuses. Mmmm. Apart from the difficulty in turning my neck and the feeling as though my head was going to explode, waiting three hours in the walk-in Care Clinic, was great fun. Two antibiotics and two antihistamines later from a doctor who seemed as though I was taking too much of his time, I was literally walking in the clouds. Ahhh Spring. I am feeling a bit better now.... the swelling in my neck is going away, too! Yeah, God!

This has been a hard week for Tim and I. We've been fighting some discouragement as satan is working overtime to get us distracted and fearful. It doesn't help being sick, either. It seems to exaggerate the situation. Ya know? We've just been coming into logistical difficulties around silly things like buying computers, losing driver's licenses and bank cards....being overcharged for items we have no control over. And yet, we are encouraged by the small things like a friend of mine offering some vitamins and spending a couple of hours playing cards with Uncle Bob and Sylvia or that I had enough energy to pack a portion of the kitchen. I am delighting today that I have a chance to sit down and write after a week of business.

A BIG blessing this week was that Tim and I got attend one of our girls' "Confirmation" ceremonies. Our 12 year-old girl (and her sisters) goes to a Catholic school and though I've heard there seems to be a stigma associated with Catholic school-goers, she deeply loves Jesus and takes joy in these ceremonies. I do, too.....especially when you can make faces at the kids and embarrass them with a little waving! :)

Although I am not Catholic, I was blessed to see how clear and 'confirming' this event was to the kids. It preached the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the 'Confirmandi' or candidates had the opportunity to share their love for Christ in a very public way. These kids are given a choice to be confirmed....they aren't forced to do it....they choose a sponsor that walks them through what they really believe in their heart is the purpose for their life and the truth of Jesus. Then they are honored for their faith by the archbishop of Vancouver and are prayed over for the gifts of the Holy Spirit. It isn't some 'new age' voodoo thing, but one of great truth and reverence. I was in awe with the respect and honor these 37 candidates showed to God through their behavior, words, and attentiveness. They were desiring to be 'true witnesses of Christ'. They knew it was a BIG deal to have their lives controlled by the Holy Spirit....it is a decision that should be marked by great reverence. It's a big decision and I was glad to see how encouraged our girl was and how sure she was of her choice.

Ya know, reflecting upon seeing a few of our kids receive Jesus into their lives, I think a ceremony of some kind where they are given the opportunity to share what they really believe and where they have a sponsor who walks them through those beliefs should be in every denomination.....like 'confirming' what they believe in a public setting to give them confidence and faith....so that others can walk along side them and encourage them in reminding them of the commitment and sacrifice they have made to follow the teachings of Christ and be filled with His Holy Spirit.

We have ceremonies for weddings, funerals, and banquets for accomplishments and parties for birthdays, but what about a kid (or adult) who makes the hardest and most important decision of his life....? We pray a prayer with them and give 'em a Bible.....are we communicating the deep value of the moment? Yeah, a ceremony would be a bit spendy, but if there's a party in heaven when a person makes Jesus Lord of their life...I wanna be at a party, too! Our 12 year-old certainly felt grown up in her faith....I loved seeing that. Maybe there's room for change in how we celebrate new life in Christ.

Be blessed!

"Be my delight..."

2007-04-14T13:55:00.000-07:00

Greetings! Tim took this picture at Stanley Park today and I really love it! It's not often that you see a swan nowadays.....especially one so purely white...most of the time they are kinda dirty and grey colored. It certainly beats running into Canadian Geese, that's for sure!

I have been pondering what it means to have all my delight in the Lord.....You see, I ran into an article in a magazine here in Canada that read,

"Is God Poison?: a growing movement blames religion for all the world's ills, from the war on terror to AIDS in Africa to child abuse" and I wondered, "whoa...that's a heavy statement and to a dying and depressed world, I can see how God would be seen as such". Religion certainly does not seem to bring peace......

Upon reading the article, I discovered that what was missing in their arguments was a 'true' representation of the character of God. They spoke of how evil and destructive followers of 'God' can be and it included Christians, Jews, Muslims, and every other supposedly "peace-loving" religion, too. But perhaps basing their entire view of God on fallible man is not a good idea. I don't think we humans know God well enough to show by our actions that He isn't poison, but rather He is the antidote to the poisoning of our souls from the ultimate enemy of humanity...your know who I mean, right?

I t is my hope and my prayer that one day, I will reflect the true character of God....

What does this have to do with delight? Well, I notice that when I commit my day to delighting in the Lord, I seem to not hurt others around me! No, it's the truth! I know I hurt others and a lot of times when I cause pain, I don't even know it. But when I truly delight in the character of Christ...my God- His justice, mercy, grace, love, faithfulness, power, patience, His coming glory, Christ's sacrifice, His revelations, His forgiveness- I find that I live without fear of hurting others around me....because they're not getting hurt! His delight creates in me a clean heart, a pure mind, and encouraging and exhorting words. Even when the truth is spoken and the truth can hurt, there is understanding and grace....I wish I could delight in the Lord EVERY MINUTE! Delighting in Him creates peace....it comforts the brokenhearted, serves the poor, desires reconciliation, seeks the best in everyone.....THAT doesn't sound like a God who should be blamed for war, AIDS and child abuse.

Maybe that's the point....religion WITHOUT GOD causes those things....we've been too busy creating religions that we forgot to get to know GOD!

Psalm 37 says,

"Do not fret because of evil men
or be envious of those who do wrong;

2 for like the grass they will soon wither,
like green plants they will soon die away.

3 Trust in the LORD and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.

4 Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

5 Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him and he will do this:

6 He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,
the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.

7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when men succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes.

8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;
do not fret—it leads only to evil.

9 For evil men will be cut off,
but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land.

10 A little while, and the wicked will be no more;
though you look for them, they will not be found.

11 But the meek will inherit the land
and enjoy great peace.

12 The wicked plot against the righteous
and gnash their teeth at them;

13 but the Lord laughs at the wicked,
for he knows their day is coming.

14 The wicked draw the sword
and bend the bow
to bring down the poor and needy,
to slay those whose ways are upright.

15 But their swords will pierce their own hearts,
and their bows will be broken.

16 Better the little that the righteous have
than the wealth of many wicked;

17 for the power of the wicked will be broken,
but the LORD upholds the righteous.

18 The days of the blameless are known to the LORD,
and their inheritance will endure forever.

19 In times of disaster they will not wither;
in days of famine they will enjoy plenty.

20 But the wicked will perish:
The Lord's enemies will be like the beauty of the fields,
they will vanish—vanish like smoke.

21 The wicked borrow and do not repay,
but the righteous give generously;

22 those the LORD blesses will inherit the land,
but those he curses will be cut off.

23 If the LORD delights in a man's way,
he makes his steps firm;

24 though he stumble, he will not fall,
for the LORD upholds him with his hand.

25 I was young and now I am old,
yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken
or their children begging bread.

26 They are always generous and lend freely;
their children will be blessed.

27 Turn from evil and do good;
then you will dwell in the land forever.

28 For the LORD loves the just
and will not forsake his faithful ones.
They will be protected forever,
but the offspring of the wicked will be cut off;

29 the righteous will inherit the land
and dwell in it forever.

30 The mouth of the righteous man utters wisdom,
and his tongue speaks what is just.

31 The law of his God is in his heart;
his feet do not slip.

32 The wicked lie in wait for the righteous,
seeking their very lives;

33 but the LORD will not leave them in their power
or let them be condemned when brought to trial.

34 Wait for the LORD
and keep his way.
He will exalt you to inherit the land;
when the wicked are cut off, you will see it.

35 I have seen a wicked and ruthless man
flourishing like a green tree in its native soil,

36 but he soon passed away and was no more;
though I looked for him, he could not be found.

37 Consider the blameless, observe the upright;
there is a future for the man of peace.

38 But all sinners will be destroyed;
the future of the wicked will be cut off.

39 The salvation of the righteous comes from the LORD;
he is their stronghold in time of trouble.

40 The LORD helps them and delivers them;
he delivers them from the wicked and saves them,
because they take refuge in him."

Perhaps this passage explains what so many "God-following" people are missing (myself included). Every religion worships gods or God, but when we truly KNOW the true God, our reaction to following Him should represent His character and His heart. His heart puts an end to poverty, war, AIDS, and child abuse.....and I should, too....by His power and His mercy. "HELP ME, OH LORD!" Be blessed.

New life is ALL OVER THE PLACE! .......

2007-04-09T10:30:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter Monday everyone! I hope that your Easter was filled with the love of Jesus and that the joy of His resurrection surpassed your wildest dreams!

Easter, and this whole 'spring-y' season are filled with the testimony of new life. Yesterday, I went walking through my garden and was amazed at how quickly so many of the flowers burst open. It was just a few days ago when I ventured out to check on the stubby stems and VOILA! Today they are in FULL bloom! And to be honest....I am feeling the same way....overwhelmed with 'bloom-y-ness"....it's the opposite of "gloominess". Yes, I feel as though new life is springing into my spirit.....ahhhh the fantastic corny-ness of it all! And yet, here's why.....

As many of you know, Tim and I are finishing up the last two months of our four-year term in our group home. The kids are beginning to understand the magnitude of the move and it has been my deepest desire to see all the kids come to a realization of how much they are loved and that they have a Heavenly Father who loves them more than any one on earth ever could.

I shared a couple of weeks ago that our 12-year-old met Jesus and the joy that filled him was unlike I'd ever seen.....that left one more boy in our care who hadn't met Jesus....hadn't experienced the joy and comfort of knowing a loving God who'd be with him for all eternity.

This weekend, he met Jesus! No, he didn't DIE...he became ALIVE!

Here's his story.....

He is a quiet, guarded kid. He's always been uncomfortable with any form of affection. The occasional bright-eyed, beautiful smile occurs only when you've REALLY amused him. He's well-behaved, for the most part, and unfortunately, has learned a lot of things from the other boy who came on the same weekend....the kid who stole Tim's camera. However, there is a softness, a compassion about this kid that I've never seen in any of the other kids we've had. He is always patient and though doesn't say much, strives to speak truth as much as possible.

He's endured many hardships and at 11 years old, he's experienced more rejection than people 4 times his age. His maturity amidst his circumstances is astounding. This week he had just moved from one relative to the next...he didn't say much.

Knowing that this had been a hard week, we took the Easter holiday to the extreme....we always have an Easter egg hunt and mass-quantities of Easter goodies, but we felt like we needed to make him a really BIG Easter basket complete with fake plastic grass (you know the kind) and various cheesy "break-after-one-use" dollar store items. We included a little tiny Bible, too.

He didn't comment on the basket, but gobbled down most of the candy. Before bed, we asked him if it would be okay to go to church because it was a very special day. He said he didn't mind, but wanted to know what time it ended. :) He's very particular about time.

Sunday morning I made a special Easter breakfast because my parents always did and with this kid being the only one in the house, I wanted to make sure he felt extra special....'cuz he is. Then we talked. I asked him what he thought about Easter and what it was really about. He said he didn't know. I asked him if he wanted to know...and amazingly, he said, "yeah".

I told him that Easter actually started with Christmas. That God sent His precious and only Son to earth because we were hurting each other with selfishness and malice. That Jesus came to teach us that there was a better way to live.....one that says instead of beating up the guy who stole your i-Pod, give him your PSP and cell phone as well. Our boy just listened. Then we got to the angry people who didn't like what Jesus was saying even though it was from God.

Jesus died at the hands of angry men just because He loved them. God wanted to communicate just how precious the people of the world were to Him by showing them the greatest sacrifice. Because of that sacrifice, we can talk freely to God and live forever with Him. AND that wasn't the end of the story....Jesus is ALIVE TODAY!

Long story even longer, our boy seemed mildly bored, but listened and then we headed to church.....we felt that since our church is located in the same building as a Starbucks, we needed some hot chocolate and a latte before heading into the sanctuary. Good call.

Our boy had never been to church and the look on his face as he watched these "crazy weirdos" dancing and raising their hands while singing to the projection screen was just a little bit nutsy. I tried to translate. And Tim was leading a portion of the worship so that helped, too.

Then children's church was cancelled. He was stuck in the service with me and Tim. I thought that was gonna frustrate him, but playing Mah Jong on my cell phone helped and he even looked up some of the Scriptures in my Bible during the message! Mmmm. Then it came time for the invitation to meet Jesus.....and then communion.

I carefully asked our boy if that was something he was interested in. He shrugged and said, "I dunno." I told him that he didn't have to and that it was a really big decision....it meant that all the people all over the world who believed in Jesus were a part of the his family...that asking Jesus to take control of His life meant that no matter where he went, Jesus would be with him and would walk beside him no matter what came his way....that Jesus would send His presence in the form of the Holy Spirit into his heart to help him bless the people around him and love them with the love God showed when He placed His Son on the cross....that this was the biggest decision he'd ever make, so if he didn't want to do it, that was okay.

Then he turned to me and said, "okay, how do I do it and how long is it gonna take?" I think my smile from ear to ear scared him a bit. We prayed and he asked Jesus to take complete control of his life....to teach him to treat others with love the way He does....to forgive him of all the crappy things he's done and that he was happy to one day see Jesus face to face in Heaven. Whoa.

Then we took communion....he commented on the stale cracker and wondered why we only got a teeny cup of juice....I told him that when he gets to Heaven, there will be a feast and he can have more. :) I welcomed him to my family and had him meet more of his new brothers and sisters....they were ecstatic to meet him and prayed blessing over him. His smile was priceless even if he said nothing.

Then he got a new BIGGER Bible....he smiled bigger. I gave him a hug and he didn't push me away. I told him that Jesus was there ...now inside of him and he could talk to Him anytime he wanted. He nodded and said, "When are we going? I wanna hunt Easter eggs." I laughed and asked if he would ever want to come back to church....he said, "Yeah, maybe...." Good enough for me! His smile has remained and even today he is sure of his decision. A new life is forming in him. I am humbled by the power and mercy of God.

Be blessed.

The baby story......

2007-04-06T20:12:00.000-07:00

Greetings! This is Naomi! This is Naomi just a few short hours after giving birth to her second son, Jordan Levi. We have been praying for this little one for a long time. The doctors were concerned that he wasn't growing properly in the womb and with Naomi and her family leaving for the Philippines in June, little Jordan REALLY needed to grow.

After many weeks of prayer and advice from her midwife, Naomi was finally give the 'okay' to birth at home.

So this past Tuesday, I got a call early in the day from Naomi saying...."I think today's the day!" I'm having minor contractions, but I'll call as things progress. By 4:45 pm, she was in full labor! Contractions were coming faster and more intense.

I headed over there as well as her doula, midwives, photographer, videographer, husband, and friend. It was a full house! We frosted Jordan's birthday cake, made granola, prepared the birthing pool, laid our fresh towels, took care of her little one, Noah, who was watching "Buzz Lightyear" upstairs, and all the while, Naomi labored......pacing the house.....moaning and smiling....then crying and giggling....she was great.

Then things started REALLY happening.... she got into her bathtub and then got out for a break only to have her bag of waters break and spew across the bathroom.....it really did! It was time to get the party started! With all of us in and out tending to whatever was needed, the excitement was getting intense. I went and got Noah from upstairs to cheer on his mommy as she pushed Jordan out.

Then she wanted to head to the pool in the living room....yes...a POOL IN THE LIVING ROOM! Talk about luxury! It might've been a blow-up kiddie pool, but it was still a POOL IN THE LIVING ROOM!

Then her hubby joined in the pool party and got in position to catch his son from his laboring wife.....no sooner did I get Noah in the room that Jordan Levi, at 6:05 pm, shot out into his father's arms! We were all in tears and with cameras clicking and shouts of joy, Jordan entered Naomi's arms and was wrapped in a warm towel. Ahhh. His eyes were wide and his cry was a beautiful sound. Even Noah was mesmerized by the sight of his fragile new brother.

Jordan was able to get a good latch for nursing and his daddy cut his umbilical cord. The midwives began to stitch Naomi up and nine months of growing pains and heavy loads came to a close. With her homeopathic remedies and a warm blanket, Naomi rested on the couch sipping licorice tea and basking in the joy of her new son. What a blessing.

Then it was time to cut the birthday cake, clean up the crazy mess, eat some soup and make phone calls! What a great day. Even the weather was full of joy....sunny, warm and clear. A good day for a birthday. Just in time for Easter, too! What a joy to celebrate new life on the most powerful week of new life in Christ Jesus! There's a message in there....Great pains to great life in eternity....Mmmm.

With the birth of Jordan now in the past, their packing for their journey to the Philippines begins and that means our packing starts, too. Heavy. Be blessed!

Sorry for the delay!

2007-04-04T12:40:00.000-07:00

Greetings! I said last post that I'd share a bit about our time with my brother and his family, but I have to quick share some breaking news that I'll elaborate on in the next post!

My good friend, Naomi (who is also heading to the Philippines) just had her long-awaited baby boy! Tuesday, April 3rd at 6:05 pm, weighing 5 lbs. 10 oz., Jordan Levi Bjorgan was born in a home water birth. In perfect health and already nursing, Jordan is a testimony of God's great love and mercy. Naomi's labor was very short and all of her birthing desires were met. Her hubby even got to catch Jordan and cut the cord! Surrounded by doulas, midwives, and friends, this birth was well-supported and I was blessed to be a part of it. I'll share a photo or two next post.

As Easter is nearing, I can't help but be amazed at how great God's love is for us and how that love is shown daily.....not just at Easter. When my brother, Andy, and his wife, Ruth, arrived with my niece and nephew, I was filled with uncontrollable, giddy love for them....I wanted to eat them...or something...I just couldn't get enough of them even when they were misbehaving!.....

hence all the pictures. :) Tim was pretty "camera-happy" and the kids didn't mind getting their photos taken. In fact, my niece, Grace, posed for hundreds of pics and was slightly disappointed when the modeling session ended! Ahh, to be 3!

But I felt as though I'd experienced just a taste of God's giddy love for us....the kind of "agape" love that would do ANYTHING for us....even give up the life of His precious Son, Jesus. When Ben and Gracie were here, I felt their parents' love for them so strong that it brought me to tears....their discipline was consistent, their guidance unwavering and their encouragement to them was a blessing to witness. What Godly parents they are! Grace and Ben are seeing God's love for them everyday through their parents. What a blessing!

Grace was never short of entertaining songs and games....she always looked for one of us to include in her adventures. And Benjamin's disposition and character exuded such peace even when he wasn't feeling very good.We went to the Aquarium and a beluga even smiled at Tim! We got ice cream and went to Granville Island, but the true event was hanging out at our house enjoying conversation and playing goofy games.

Andy and Ruth were so laid back and flexible, too! Our time together was restful and seeing them brought me a lot of joy. It was painful, too as I can only count on one hand the times we have left to be with them. I never want to lose that connection and I am so thankful the Lord brought them.

I'll try to be more consistent with the postings....Be blessed!

The SLR and the 13 year-old.....

2007-03-29T09:34:00.000-07:00

Greetings! This weekend my brother and sister-in-law visited with their two precious kids and we had a BLAST! I'll give more details and share what God taught me next post, but I thought I'd go in order of past events.

I posted this Tim picture because it reminded me of our weekend....three peas in a pod 'cuz one rolled away..... :(

Our 13 year-old boy has been in our program for over 4 years. He is a very silly and hyper kid....though very endearing. I cannot share with you the extent of his difficulties because of confidentiality issues, so I will just say that this boy has many developmental and behavioral issues that are not his fault.

His behavior over the passed year has turned into that of a teen heading toward a life of jail and drugs. He had begun to steal...starting with food and then iPods, PSPs, toys, and money. Then he started to get really defiant and became fascinated with fire. When he started burning paper in his room, his foster family had to let him go in order to keep their other children safe.

Then he moved into home after home lighting things on fire and growing in defiance. Last week, he moved into a group home with older teens. He was still coming to see us and though we had to search his bag and pockets every time, he was still the silly endearing boy we always knew. He never stole anything from us or was overly defiant. He was tough, but nothing was directed towards us. He even allowed us to help him write a letter to his biological mom and foster mom to share with them how sorry he was for stealing from them and yet how angry he is at them. We thought he was going through some healing......

When he came this weekend, he was 'bragging' about his new smoking habit and the loose rules of his new group home. He said he could go where he wanted and stay up as late as he wanted watching movies and chatting with girls. We had to laugh a bit because we knew the stories he was telling were a bit 'overcooked'. But it led to his first ever: "I don't want to be here...I want to go back to the group home."

SHOCK! He used to LOVE coming here ....that is, until he got a taste of real freedom...and not the good kind. His behavior turned belligerent and he was so eager to get home that we finally took him back after 24 hours.

Upon entering the car, Tim noticed his SLR camera was missing.....just to make sure, he went and spoke to our boy and the staff at the group home. They hadn't seen it in their searching through his things he brought home, so Tim left VERY distraught. It took us over 6 months to raise enough money for that camera and it was a very special gift given to Tim for his birthday last year. He'd only had it since February and photography was to be a small source of income upon our arrival in the Philippines. Tim was beside himself, but still needed to go and lead worship at the Sunday evening service at our church.

We couldn't afford a new camera and as he left for church, my heart sank and I made a few phone calls to our close friends and family to pray. I sat on the couch and cried and prayed...not because the camera was lost, but because I knew our boy had taken it and he had never stolen from us before....this, inevitably, would have to change the status of our relationship.

After praying for a while, I called the group home again to talk to our boy to tell him that if perhaps, maybe he FOUND the camera for Tim, that I would give him a reward of $50....he said nothing. But the group home staff mentioned that they'd be doing a thorough check in all the rooms before bedtime and they would keep me posted.

A couple hours went by and no word. Then the phone rang.....

Sure enough, hidden in the box springs of our boy's bed was Tim's $1600 SLR and a host of other stolen property. Upon finding it, our boy became verbally abusive and violent. My heart was grateful for the camera and heavy for our kid. This was not just a little thing....this was a big deal. The home asked us to press charges, but something in us just couldn't....

We know we can't have him back in our home because he is a danger to the other kids and to us, but our hearts break as we have to release him to God and hope for the best. The future doesn't look good for him. When Tim met with him later that night, he refused to talk to him and after every word said, "I don't care what you say." We've just become another broken relationship to him that he needed to sabotage himself before us moving away did it for him. Unfortunately, it was 2 months too early. I wasn't ready and neither was Tim. We're praying for a better outcome. And for now, we have to focus on the little lives God has entrusted to us for the next 2 months.

Whew. Next post will be far more uplifting, I promise. :) Be blessed.

More kids stuff........

2007-03-25T08:38:00.000-07:00

Spring is TOTALLY here! All the bulbs that I planted in the fall have popped out and have been attacked by slugs. Ah yes, another reminder spring is here....slugs. Last night I went outside and found a whole family of them munching away on my tulip leaves. At least they were enjoying themselves. But alas, they 'succumbed' to my crushed egg shell and beer concoction. Too bad. :) Ya know, they don't have slugs in the Philippines!? They just have giant cockroaches! :)

We're definitely coming down to the wire here at our house. The kids at our group home are beginning to show some affection and emotion on the subject of us moving overseas. To be honest, it's been quite surprising. All of a sudden, our 14 year-old is wanting to help wherever she can....scrubbing floors, making beds, cooking! ....she just WANTS to help! Our 12 year-olds are wanting to 'hang out' more...they want to stay indoors and play board games rather than go on outings and such. We've been getting our share of hugs and kisses, too! Oh and the pictures! We're getting 'special' homemade pictures and drawings saying how wonderful we are almost daily! And then the pictures are followed by, "Can I have your GameCube when you guys move?" We have to laugh. And then there's the, "What are you going to do with all your Archie Comics and the Air Hockey Table?...Can I have them?" There is a method to their madness. :) I got convicted by that....sometimes I treat God the same way...."I'll be good and make you nice things to hang on your fridge if you'll give me just this one thing??..." Mmmmm. Yeah, right. Anyway.....

This weekend, my brother and sister-in-law are coming from Oregon with their two kids, Ben and Gracie! The last time we saw them was at Christmas...hence the pictures above....and yes, that's Grace waving a Canadian flag she received from Uncle Fuzz and Aunt B!

This is the very first time they've ever come to see us, so this is a momentous occasion! I was blessed by the kids' reaction to my family coming, too. Our three girls made welcome signs and hung balloons. We had a blast preparing for their arrival. The girls had seen so many pictures of my niece and nephew, they felt as though they knew them. What a joy to see them so eager to serve kids they'd never met!

Tim and I are coming to terms with the fact that this will be the one of the last times we'll see them. Once more in April and then again in June....then we're gone for a long time. We're gonna cherish this week.

Be blessed.

New life........

2007-03-20T10:07:00.000-07:00

Greetings! For the sake of keeping up this blog on more recent events as we get closer to our journey to the Philippines, I have decided to "move on" from the previous discussions.

However, those of you who would like to continue the discussion and dialogue further, please send me an e-mail at bagpipegoo@yahoo.ca. I would encourage you to "change the scenario" to another situation such as an act of theft or maybe you can think of a different one. Perhaps that would change the perspective? It was meant to be a doctrinal/theological issue....it would seem that some are stuck on the scenario (which is actually a conglomeration of three real circumstances that I, for the most part, dealt with in the spirit of forgiveness) and not on the actual theological issue...more plainly- "Under what circumstances does God forgive and if He is our model, how are we to forgive?"....feel free to e-mail.

~Moving on~

Remember when I posted that Tim and I have been feeling a "short-timers" restlessness with our job? I thought it was just something I'd have to deal with and fight through. Another character building exercise...you know how I LOVE those! :)

But this week has proven that God is still challenging, moving and using us in this job with the kids. As many of you know, we've cared for over 40 children in our group home and many we expected to never see again. However, in the last few weeks, we have received phone calls and unexpected visits from kids we've cared for at some point in the last four years! It's been quite bizarre!

Although some are in far worse places than when we had them, others have been reunited with their families and are doing fantastic! God is good. It feels as though God is reassuring us that He will take care of these kids that are so dear to our hearts.

It gets better!

Remember the post on "tantrumming boy" and the two barf brothers? Well, tantrumming boy came to know Jesus this weekend! No joke! He shared that he thought Christians were stupid (he knows what we are...and sometimes we ARE stupid!) and so I asked him why he thought that. He said that he just didn't understand why we would eat a little cracker and drink a teeny bit of grape juice and call it Jesus. I see his point.

That led to a discussion that changed this 12 year-old's life. I asked him if he'd ever done anything wrong in his life.....he answered "OH YEAH!" I laughed. I told him that I did, too and continue to, but that the difference was that instead of having to die because of all my wrongdoing, Jesus went in my place and that now, I can have a relationship with God for eternity.

We talked about how Jesus knows our every thought and knows what we're gonna do even before we do it....that when we confess or tell God when we do naughty things and ask for Jesus to help us, He forgives us and we can have peace.....that we have the Holy Spirit that acts as a warrior on our behalf to help us to do the right thing....and that being a Christian is a HUGE responsibility.....not to be taken lightly. It means doing our best to give God glory or blessing Him in everything we do and say....that it was hard.....it meant putting others needs before our own needs....serving others....

I was trying to discourage him as much as possible because I wanted to make sure he really understood the costs......in the past, I would've just been overjoyed and prayed......but this was too important......

After all that, I asked him if he still wanted to give Jesus complete control of his life and he said..."YUP." So I asked him if he wanted to pray and ask Jesus to take control and he said, "YUP." So we did. I tell ya...the rest of the day, he was on cloud nine....hyper....excited...and even prayed at dinner. That's a first. God is good.

I told him that angels were rejoicing in heaven because he joined the family (Luke 15:10)....he smiled. Be blessed.

Building bridges

2007-03-19T16:51:00.000-07:00

Another classic Tim photo! Symbolic of what I wanted to post today.

I recently received an anonymous comment here on my blog and while I appreciate dialogue and discussion, I am opposed to visitors posting a comment anonymously.
It does not give me the ability to address the poster of the anonymous comment accordingly. As a result, I had to change the format of my blog and the way in which people can voice their opinion.

Therefore, if you would like to make a comment on my blog and do not have a blogger account, please place your name at the bottom of your comment, so I can address you with a reply directly.

At the advice of my husband, I have chosen not to post any anonymous comments that do not have the author's identity. No social security card or birth certificate needed....just a name. :)

Thanks for your comments and your gracious respect. Be blessed.

His acts astound me......

2007-03-15T10:27:00.000-07:00

Good Thursday to you all! Another Vancouver picture by Tim...we are getting a bit more sunshine as of late, so I thought I'd share it with you!

I just wanted to give you an update on our benefit spaghetti dinner we hosted for the Philippines yesterday!

We had several cancellations and we were concerned nobody would show. But we hoped that whoever decided to come would be hand-picked by the Holy Spirit. We had a really rough day, too. Tim was fighting with Canadian Tire about a car that needed fixing but they messed up and very little errands got done. However, we were overjoyed to greet our dear old friend, Marlies, from New Zealand via the UK at the airport in the afternoon and on a whim, asked if she wanted to come to the dinner, too.

When everyone arrived, we had a total of 12 people and we had a blast! It was different than the one before. It wasn't near as boisterous, but we had a wonderful time chatting with everyone and hearing all their stories of travelling to Asia and our pastor, Ernie, shared of some of his experiences in the Philippines. We felt encouraged and supported.

Impact Nations shared the vision of saving and changing the lives of the poorest of the poor and invited our guests to come along on a "Journey of Compassion". There's even one coming in September to the Philippines!

After salad, spaghetti, bread, cheesecake, strawberries and whipped cream, we prayed together for God's direction and wisdom. The night proved to be a success as most of our guests committed to pray for us and we are now over halfway to our needed $1400. (US) a month! Currently we are at $880. (US) monthly. God showed Himself faithful once again and we were filled with hope. Time is short....we're nearly there! Please continue to pray for us! Many blessings to you all!

"Challenged even more....."

2007-03-13T13:39:00.000-07:00

Greetings! Tim took this candid pic a month ago when the sun was just beginning to peak out giving us notice that spring was on its way....I look deep in thought....as I am today.

My last post dealt with clearly a sensitive issue and I am still processing all of it. It's amazing to me that God allows us so much grace to wrestle with life and faith issues in search for His truth. Instead of always pointing to the answers, He leads us on rabbit trails and windy roads to experience and grapple with His words.....always to build our character and become more like Him. That's my greatest desire.

After re-reading my previous post, I found it to be far more "pro-Gary Chapman viewpoint" than I actually intended. I was reminded of a prophetic word over me almost a year ago that shared that my life was to be "a labor of love"...at that time I did not know that I'd be sharing in the physical "labor" of a woman giving birth as well as laboring in the emotional and spiritual in serving overseas.

The reason I bring this up is that my previous post lacked a self-sacrificing element that God has required of me. The "relief from self-condemnation" as I wrote, was not really a relief from self-condemnation, but relief from personal sacrifice and responsibility to fight to forgive. For that, I repent. Forgiveness when God asks it of me is part of my life being a "labor of love".

However, my thoughts have changed on the subject of forgiveness as a result of Chapman's lecture, but not as much as I originally thought. I think Chapman's point of view lacks balance and self-sacrifice. Forgiveness is a sacrifice. But I also believe there is a distinct difference between 'forbearance' and forgiveness and I think that without forgiveness, there can be no reconciliation.....but I also believe that reconciliation requires the desire of the two people to be reconciled....I don't think you can be reconciled to someone who does not want to be reconciled, too. And sometimes I think forgiveness is not warranted, but forbearance is. Mmmm. Still sorting through that one.

Polar opposites are represented in my last post with my mother-in-law and Gary Chapman's teaching....however, I think that both sides are lacking a balance. I don't know what the balance is, but I desire to learn God's truth in the matter and I don't think we, as Christians, have it right. I don't think we ever will this side of heaven. But I am grateful for the discussion and I am sorry if my response to Chapman's teaching offended or discouraged any readers. The passages I listed in last post are still passages I am re-reading and grappling with.

On that note, I am grappling with soooo much right now....ill-timed as it may be, I know God is speaking. Be blessed.

God's anger and forgiveness.....I'm challenged.

2007-03-11T13:20:00.000-07:00

Have you ever tried to forgive someone who hurt you and got so frustrated that you were having such trouble forgiving them? Maybe you even felt guilty and shameful for not feeling forgiving........maybe you even had to wake up every morning saying "I forgive you" in your mind to that person even though everyday they continued to hurt you.......

Well, I learned something this weekend that changed my whole perspective on God's grace, forgiveness and my part in reconciliation. Although I do not fully agree with every portion of the teaching, I am interested in a dialogue about this...perhaps even challenging my own thoughts on the matter.....comment if you have a thought.

I used to think that no matter what someone did, I had to forgive them and if I couldn't, then I wasn't really a healthy Christian, I was bitter and angry and that God wouldn't forgive me. I know many of us have had that mindset. But I was challenged this weekend to rethink that ingrained teaching.

A friend and I went to hear Gary Chapman (author of The Five Love Languages) speak on Love and Anger. I really went because I wanted to spend time with this friend and I wanted to take an evening off of work. I had no idea that it would provide me with such freedom and release from my own self-condemnation.

You see, someone dear to me has taken his life into his own hands. He professed to know Christ, but in the last three years, he has chosen to cheat on his wife, fall into addictions, hurt those around him with his words and his actions without ever an apology....and now he is divorcing his wife, been aloof with his family and lives like an unbeliever......he claims that we "just need to forgive him". This angered me and I struggled with his self-centered and heartless, Godless response. The pain he has caused his family is overwhelming and he shares that he "just wants to be happy".

The subject of forgiveness has come up numerous times in this situation and though I love this person and I desire God's best for him, I couldn't say that I forgave him. Why? Because he hasn't confessed and repented. He hasn't changed his lifestyle or admitted wrong or apologized for the pain he's caused and selfishness he has demonstrated. And this weekend, I discovered that unforgiveness is not without merit and is actually Biblical. Let me explain......

Gary Chapman taught on the fact that God, Himself, does not forgive people who do not confess and repent. Take a look at 1 John 1:9 - "if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." The key word here is IF.

God is our example and we are made in His image.....we are to model our lives according to His statutes. We cannot forgive better than God...we aren't capable of forgiving anyone without Him, so how can we expect to forgive someone when GOD HASN'T FORGIVEN THEM!? If they have not confessed and repented, then they are not forgiven.

But what about Christ? Didn't He come to save sinners...the ultimate act of forgiveness? YES! BUT only when they believe on the Lord Jesus Christ....what does that involve doing? Admitting you are a sinner and are in need of a Saviour....aka confessing and repenting...take a look at John 3:16, Acts 16:31, Proverbs 28:13. 2 Timothy 2:18-19 (and countless others)....all speak of confessing, repenting and being saved.

Even when Jesus was on the cross, He asked God, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do" (Luke 23:34). This was not a command, but a desire....Jesus was saying that He desired for them to be forgiven and He was making a way so that IF man confesses, THEN God would forgive them and save them.

Now, does that mean we have a right to stay angry and become bitter and treat the person who wronged us with all the hatred we have in the world? NO! Matthew 18: 15-17 says,

5"If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.'17If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector."

Treat them like an unbeliever? That means we love them (Luke 6:35) and pray for them (Matthew 5:44), BUT we also guard ourselves from them and set up strong boundaries (2 Timothy 4:14-15). We do not allow anger to take root in us, either. Chapman shared that anger was never meant to take residence in our hearts, but just to be a visitor. It is only when we invite anger to LIVE in us that it becomes bitterness and hatred. But when we treat the wounding unbeliever with love and prayer, it is the Holy Spirit who removes the anger and replaces it with compassion.....NOT forgiveness....THAT only comes when the person confesses and repents and the sweetness of reconciliation can take place.

We are required to forgive when asked to (Matthew 6:14-15...that;s the hard part!), but until we are asked, we cannot. Look at the many examples in the old AND new testaments where a person was wrong, hurt others and needed to repent. Forgiveness is not a right, but an act of grace....an act of God. We cannot forgive without Him, so when He forgives, I want to act in forgiveness.

Still processing all of this.....any comments? What a challenge~be blessed!

"Turning mourning into dancing......"

2007-03-07T20:11:00.000-08:00

Yes, that's Tim and our four-year-old....DANCING! Many of you thought Tim wouldn't and couldn't dance, but here he is.....grooving to "R-E-S-P-E-C-T" with our little one in the living room. Priceless.

What you can't see here is the smile on our four-year-old's face.....he's in heaven. He is an awesome break dancer and finds any excuse to do a spinning headstand. I wouldn't be a bit surprised if we see him on some stage with flashing lights dancing for a big name rapper or diva....and still serving the Lord with his dance.

This little guy is doing so well...he's still four so he's REALLY annoying, but the change in Him is Christ alone. :)

As I shared before, we've been going through heavy times. It seems that everyone around us is going through it, too. But I started to realize just how many "little blessings" or as my mom calls them: "little kisses on the forehead from the Lord" we were experiencing.

Prayer SOOOOO changes things. The Lord showed me how far we've come and not how far we still need to go....He showed me that the two months without our dear friends, Bob and Sylvia, are almost over.....that this passed weekend with the kids empowered us and didn't drain us....that seeing my parents last week in Washington State was short, but a blessing.......my perspective is changing....it's not fully there yet, but it's coming.

Just that simple reminder of where we've been and how much He has accomplished in us instead of focusing on the overwhelming amount that still needs attention, has begun to give me hope and center my focus. And the Lord did it so gently and quietly. We continue to pray protection for our families and God's best for our friends.....and grace for us. God is good.

Be blessed.

Some spaghetti, anyone?

2007-03-02T19:27:00.000-08:00

Good day, everyone! This pic Tim took is of my nephew, Micah and his uncle Jeff. I think it's a great picture....Micah is certainly growing and his expressions at 6 months are hilarious. It makes me miss my nephew, Benjamin and my niece, Grace.

So we've been planning another spaghet-to-gether to raise awareness and support for our journey to the Philippines. We were asked to host another one after a bunch of people shared that they had wanted to come, but couldn't on Tuesday. So here we are, planning one for Wednesday night, March 14th. Those same people can't make this one, either, so we are debating on whether to cancel it or just go ahead with the little people we have....anyone wanna come? :)

The last one was fantastic and we had a lot of fun. I know God will bring the people He desires to be there. It's been a challenge, though. Please pray that God will provide the rest of our monthly support! Thanks.

Last post I had shared that Tim and I were getting tired of our job and struggling to keep up with "spinning all our plates". But I have to share an incredible joy God gave us this week. Our four-year-old, who is now living with an extended aunt, has changed into another kid! I'm serious! This kid is soooo different from the one we met over a year ago.

When this little boy arrived, he was depressed, sick, belligerent and unhappy. He got into so many fights at his pre-school and the teachers would often have bruises from his tantrums. He was constantly sick and full of phlegm which made his asthma trouble worse. We had been praying that he would be moved to a positive environment....preferably one that was full of the love of Christ. A couple of months ago, he was moved into an extended aunt's house (who really isn't related to him at all) and we found out that she's a Christian! Not only that, but after just a few short weeks, this little guys WANTS to pray, WANTS to help, WANTS to go to pre-school and has become so polite and kind that I struggle thinking he isn't for real!!!

Yes, he is still four....almost five now, so there are some nutsy behaviors that get to us and we want to run to take cover, BUT, the change in him is so amazing....he's happy, healthy, his eyes light up when you pray and he loves his new home. God is so faithful. He reminds me that God is taking care of each one of our kids and we don't have to worry about their well-being when we leave. It also reminds me that I need to pray for them....Instead of struggling through the next three months of work, I should be taking this opportunity to pray for God's greatest blessings over them and their families.....though I am tired and weak....struggling, I know that when I focus and pray for God's best for these kids, many of the challenges don't seem so impossible and annoying. Maybe.

"Oh, God, forgive me for complaining. Thanks." Be blessed.

"Just keep swimming....."

2007-02-27T19:09:00.000-08:00

Hello, all! This is the latest picture of Miranda, the baby whose birth I had the opportunity to attend. She's looking less and less like an alien everyday! Tee hee! God has been faithful and this little one is growing and thriving...delighting her parents with every poopie diaper, yawn, cry and feed.

As in the words of 'Dori' from Finding Nemo, we "just keep swimming".....

Both Tim and I are struggling with a lack of patience and grace for our job...like "short-timer's syndrome". We are finding each work day more and more difficult as we finish up our 4th year here at the group home. Our effectiveness has worn off and we are feeling tired, worn, and sitting through social worker/parent meetings don't help matters. We are fed up with the way the Ministry of Children and Family Development servicesare run here and are frustrated with the lack of wise parenting that is destroying the lives of the kids in our care. There's nothing left we can do.....

After two days of meetings and 5 days of work this week, we're pretty fried and just want to go to our new home in the Philippines....get a new perspective....a change of pace...do something that makes a difference in others' lives in the name of Jesus...

It's amazing how the vision and plan to start serving the poor in the Philippines keeps us swimming. The Lord reminds us of the journey we're in for through some of the blogs the students of Newlife have kept and just when we feel like we're drowning, He feeds us with anticipation and joy for what is to come.

The Lord also reminds me that though we are excited to help the physically and materialistically poor in the Philippines, for now He has called us to minister to the emotionally poor...the poor parents...the poorly behaved kids. I don't feel like we're doing any good with that right now. I am humbled. He is our strength. I often feel as though I have nothing worthy or empowering to give....and then I remember that's okay, because God does! I am so glad that nothing is impossible for Him and that He doesn't NEED ME to accomplish His purposes. But I am His vessel.

Be blessed.

"HEY! Turn up the heat, eh?!"

2007-02-24T15:48:00.000-08:00

Good winter day to you all! Sooooo, it's SUPPOSED to be late February here...the flowers poke their heads up out of the dirt, the sun starts to peak through the clouds and the showers greet our morning coffee....right?

WRONG! It snowed again last night....and our furnace broke.

With our three girls huddled together in front of the fire, we had a weekend of SUGAR! Somehow copious amounts of hot chocolate can make even the furnace breaking a fantastic event!

So this morning, after a night of the chilling 13 degrees (C that is) INSIDE the house, we decided to skip breakfast at the table, drink some more hot chocolate and watch a movie in front of the fireplace. Good times. The furnace guy was supposed to be here at some point today, but for now, I will "chatter" my way through this post. :)

Speaking of 'heat'....I gotta tell you what my 'hottie' did for me for Valentine's Day! The pic above is what I made him....and a card....yeah, I'm lame, but my love likes cookies and chocolate...he's really easy going and hates Valentine's Day unless he is doing something creative for me. It's true! He loves being all sneaky and silly....I'll show you what I mean........

Valentine's Day was a busy day...we had meetings and such. But early in the afternoon, my Tim gave me a bouquet of beautiful tulips and inside was a note:
"I married a woman who's simply the best
She's a hundred times better than all of the rest.
She's kind and she's gentle, and she sure does look hot.
Oh, how I love her, I love her a lot.

But if she wants a present, then let me be blunt,
She'll have to search, yes, she'll have to hunt.
Might I suggest that she looks downstairs
I thought I saw something hiding down there." (next to this was a picture of one of the beds downstairs)

In side the bed was this:
"You couldn't have thought that you'd find it already,
Perhaps you should look near this fat yellow teddy." (next to this was a picture of Pooh Bear)

Inside Pooh Bear was this:
"The bear didn't have what you're looking for?
You'd better go search near the downstairs backdoor!" (next to this was a picture of the door)

In my shoe near the backdoor was this:
"If you put on your shoes and go out of the house,
The gift may be hiding in the garage with a mouse!" (next to this was a picture of our luggage stored in the garage)

In the luggage was this:
"Tonight at the Center, the show starts at eight.
It's a Nat King Cole Tribute, won't that be great?
But if we're going to go, we need to get dressed.
Can you go to the closet and pick out my best?" (yeah, a picture of the closet in our room and tickets to the show! I LOVE Nat King Cole!)

In the closet was this:
"I know what you're thinking, and there's no need to pout,
You'll need a scent that will please both our snouts.
Just look under the bed, and there you will find,
The perfume you wear that blows my mind! Be my Valentine!" (under the bed was my perfume that I ran out of months ago!)

More than the gifts was the presentation. Tim is such a blessing to me....he always puts his heart into serving me and it humbles me. I am in love. Thank you, Jesus for you perfect hubby for me. Be blessed.

Tired, but deeply grateful....

2007-02-19T20:55:00.000-08:00

Thank you all for commenting last post and sharing your heart with me. I was truly blessed by your encouragement. I am so humbled by God's faithful provision of friends and new acquaintances along this crazy journey!

The wee baby pictured above is Miranda Elizabeth, the baby from the birth I got to attend last Friday and Saturday. Both mom and baby are recovering from the traumatic experience and it looks like God is doing miracles! We've been praying oodles for this little one and she is a blessing and a gift. Thank you for all your prayers as they are clearly effective!

The other two pictures are of our new friends, the Germain family and of Jenn Germain, me and Naomi...the soon-to-be-midwives! All 7 kids and two adults came to our church Sunday morning and then over to our house for some pizza and fun. It was so great to hear their heart and how God has led them to Newlife School and to the Philippines. God has provided for their every need and they are excited to take their family on this exciting and life-long journey into their destiny. What a powerful family of God! Jennifer and her hubby, Joe, were so real and honest about their experiences and how God has prepared them for the many adventures they have flown into. Both Naomi and I were blessed to have one more connection to the calling God has placed on our lives. It was another confirmation of God's great ability to collect His own and bring them to a place of serving together and serving one another. He is so good at connecting us! I loved it. God is good.

Though the days have been tiresome, we are seeing an acceleration of God's plans. We got word from Impact Nation's team in India today, too! They are seeing an out pour of God's power through healings and salvations! Muslims coming to know the true love of Jesus Christ....the lame walking and deaf ears opened! God is connecting His children and uniting them all over the world because in the family of God, there is neither Jew nor Gentile....we are all the same....serving in the same mission....fighting the same battles....entering into the same destiny....bound for the same homeland....Heaven! I am looking forward to meeting my extended family in the Philippines! AND I am looking forward to inviting more into that family!

Galatians 3: 27-29 says, "for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise."

What a joy! Be blessed today and know that I am thankful to be in your family!

Counting the Costs, enduring the storm...

2007-02-17T19:01:00.000-08:00

Greetings, friends! It has been a quiet couple of days on my blog...sorry about that. Please continue to comment, though, as it is truly a great encouragement to me.

The last few days have been very tiring, trying, and tumultuous. That's partially why I posted this picture Tim took of one of the beautiful tulips in a bouquet he bought me for Valentine's Day....it reminds me that even through the ugly darkness of trial and crisis, God provides beauty to refocus our thoughts and bring us hope......I'll post more later on how amazing my Tim is and what a wondering day he gave me....but here are the memoirs of the most recent experiences....

Our dear friends who are coming with us to the Philippines have been going through a tough time with all the preparations and with their growing family. It has been very difficult on them and weighs heavily on my heart. God is moving, but our thoughts are not HIS thoughts and our ways are not HIS ways....He knows the bigger picture and sees beyond the strenuous days we have been enduring....please pray for them.

My parents are going through some very difficult growing pains, too. The kind that stretch to the point of exhaustion and cause deep pain. My heart aches for them. Please pray for them, too.

Just got word today that Tim's mom and dad, who are in India, are going through some warfare, too as his dad got bit by spiders all over his face and he is so swollen he can hardly see. As he preaches and ministers from one village to the next amidst the pain, our hearts are heavy in prayer. His swelling is subsiding, praise GOD! Please pray for them.

Then there's the birth I got to be at this weekend. My very first one...I got to be the doula. Filled with anticipation and joy, pregnant mom and dad entered the hospital early yesterday morning and labored all day and night. She was so strong and was gracious with everyone around her.....even at her most tired and most painful moment at 1:30 am, she thanked the doctor and nurses around her and smiled a weary smile. I was humbled. Through much difficulty, she delivered a healthy baby girl around 3 am by C-section and was too exhausted to share in the joy of bringing her first child into the world. After a 22-hour day, I too, was completely wasted....I can't imagine her exhaustion. Please pray for her and her family.

My heart is heavy, my body is weak and yet God is making His presence known. Thursday, Tim and I received two beautiful letters in the mail from dear friends that had decided to support us prayerfully and financially in our journey overseas. We also have the awesome opportunity to visit with new friends we met online who are going to be attending Newlife school in September, too! They are coming tomorrow with their 7 children to feast on pizza and fellowship with our dear friends and their two kids and our three boys! A very FULL house tomorrow, but a joyful one, I am sure.

It seems as though every direction we turn, there is great pain and opportunity. Our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers and powers of this present darkness (Ephesians 6:12). I believe that we are warring in our flesh (ie. the physical difficulties we are going through) but also in our spirits (ie. emotions and warfare against depression and discouragement). I know you know what I mean. Tim and I are not alone in our feelings or struggles....we KNOW THAT.

Though pain seems to be infiltrating every fiber of our life and the lives of the people closest to us in some way or another right now, we know God is doing something bigger than our minds can comprehend and we know that whatever happens, He is ALWAYS good and His love endures forever. So this evening, I meditate on Psalm 118. Read it. It's good. "His love endures forever."

Big boat, little boat.....

2007-02-12T10:25:00.000-08:00

I really like this picture....

Update on my doula job:
Still waiting on baby.....she's now very overdue and her mommy is really wanting to see her little girl OUTSIDE of her belly. We're still praying....maybe this evening?

One good thing about the little one being late is that I have been reading my textbooks to keep up with what is happening in my friends' body! In the last couple of days, her body has gone through some MAJOR adjustments and it is so humbling to see! God created our bodies so perfectly to bring forth new life on so many levels. Wow.

This weekend, we were sent an e-mail from a contact in the Philippines who is selling his car for $2500 (US) and was wanting to know if we wanted it. As of now, we do not have the money for the car.....we still need to raise our tuition money, too. But we are asking our family to pray with us that if this is God's way of providing us with transportation overseas, that He would also provide the funds to pay for it.

Our contact there has been such a blessing and has answered so many of our questions about life in Davao. We have been so grateful for his help and wisdom. So if you think of it, please say a prayer for Tim and me, that the money would come if this is our car and also for our contact, that the Lord would bless him and keep him safe as he and his family leave the Philippines in March.
Thanks!

In other news, we had a really good weekend....with plenty of confirmations that what we are heading into is far bigger than our imaginations....for example.....

Our friend, Marlies, who basically handed us the job we now work, is living in the UK (she's a kiwi..that is....a New Zealander) to raise money to ....get this... go to the SAME school and serve at the SAME clinic as me! She had no idea I was planning on the Philippines and I never knew her plans, either! And yet, God is once again, bringing us back together. I really believe we will be working together in the future in birthing centers.....AND

At church yesterday, I met Kirsten, a nurse and former midwife who just happened to be visiting our church one of the few Sundays I am able to go! I found out that it is her heart to open safe birthing centers for the poor, too, and she wants to get involved with Impact Nations to get things started! AAAAAACKKKKK! God is moving so fast, it's making my head spin!

I fully believe God is uniting us with our future teams that will go to India and Sub-Sahara Africa and minister the love of Christ by serving women and their children. God is faithful. His vision is so much bigger and better than my own. Reminds me again of the picture above from the Burrard Inlet.....BIG VISION, little dream....BIG GOD, little servant.....BIG PAPA BOAT, little baby dingy.

Be blessed and know that the dream God has placed in you is just a smidgen of His greater plan for your life.

PRAISE, PRAISE, PRAISE!!!!

2007-02-07T16:40:00.000-08:00

God is soooooo faithful! He is soooo good!

I am SOOOOO exhausted, but I have to tell you what God did for us last night!

As most of you know, last night was our Spaghet-to-gether dinner, one of our first fundraisers for the Philippines. Because our monthly need is about $1400.00, we need lots of monthly donors who feel the Holy Spirit tugging their hearts to partner with us in this adventure. Well, God did amazing things....

The tables were set with flowers, candles, and red and white checkered tablecloths. Italian music played in the background..most of the meal was cooked and ready to go...we were just waiting for people to come. Tim had phoned all 16 people on our list to make sure each one was still planning on coming and he reached very few, so we were hoping that everyone would show up. Then we got a few cancellations.....a bit of disappointment, but we still had peace. Then my mother-in-law came to help with the prep and she began to pray for God's grace and joy over the evening.

Then guests began to arrive....more guests.....and more.....until there were 14 people chatting and fellowshipping....it was sooo great to hear all the laughter. God hand-picked each person to come and the right people came. Some of our guests met each other for the first time here and by the end of the night, they were taking pictures of each other and writing their e-mails down to take home!

Tim and I shared our vision of serving the poor, lowering the infant mortality rate long-term, giving the poor access to clean water through filtration systems, opening up our home (when we get it) to those wanting to come and see what God is doing in the Philippines as well as those coming to serve.....we served spaghetti and meatballs, garlic bread, salad, cheesecake and spumoni ice cream.....coffee and tea....talked some more.....then my father-in-law shared about Impact Nations and our connection with them and how they can be involved in journeys of compassion with the ministry and serve the poor, too. Then he prayed and asked everyone to consider partnering with us and supporting us prayerfully and financially.

Then they stayed later and later....the conversations buzzed and the last person left at 12:30 am!!!! I didn't fall asleep until 4 am. But I was deeply humbled and moved by God's grace and His amazing provision.

We ended up receiving enough monthly supporters to cover half of our monthly budget!! PRAISE GOD! ANNNNDD....Impact Nations received donations as well! People were so gracious, encouraging and supportive.....we were blown away. I cried.

We are now praying for the rest of the funds needed to meet our monthly budget and cover the start-up costs of immigration/visas, medical supplies, our furniture, and our tuition. God is soooo faithful and we give Him all the glory. Thanks be to GOD!

Be blessed!

"AAACCKKK....ATTACK!"

2007-02-05T13:56:00.000-08:00

I picked this Tim photo because it looks as though that little bitty rock is holding up that giant one....and it is! With just the right angle and stance, this thin rock is holding a BIG load. Kinda similar to when Jesus empowers us to endure hardship....like this week for me.

Yeah...serious attack this week. It started on Friday when our four-year-old was stuck in the house with me all day long.....and then again on Saturday....that afternoon, he decided to bring out every annoying and disobedient behavior known to man. Great. I recognized it as a total attack from satan and began to pray. We hadn't seen this behavior from this kid in a long time. It didn't change.

I thought that this weekend was not a good time to have poor behaved kids around as Tim had several commitments and I would be on my own with the kids for a good portion of the time. It was also the weekend that I was to be the doula at my very first birth and we were also planning and preparing for our benefit spaghetti dinner on Tuesday night. Whew...lots to do and very little time to devote to misbehaving kids. But it didn't stop with the four year-old.

Next came our three wonderful boys that we have every other weekend. Saturday night seemed like a breeze compared to our run-in with the devil in the four year-old.....but then Sunday morning hit like whiplash.....

Our 9 year-old started puking...PROJECTILE BILE all over the floor-the bathroom-his bedroom- everywhere.

And then he felt better.....we decided to go to church....BAD IDEA. Once we pulled into the parking lot....PUKE....inside the church bathroom....PUKE....I decided to leave the two other boys with Tim at church and take the poor puking boy home....PUKE in the car....PUKE in his bed.....PUKE....PUKE....BURP. He was white as a ghost, shaking....feverish. Oooky. I treated him like a king and put some soft music in his room...oh the ginger ale....the cool washcloth...you know the drill...boy #1 was tucked in. Ahhh.

Then Tim came home with the other two boys and took off to see the Super Bowl at his brother's house 'cuz things seemed to be under control with puky boy downstairs and hyper boys upstairs....in the process, my mother-in-law even brought me flowers....AND I WASN'T SICK! What a blessing...I needed those flowers to get through the storm brewing just after 4 pm.

"Bethany, I feel sick." said boy #2. And then....PUKE. Yes, that's right...now two boys puking their guts out all over the place.....the SMELL....OH THE SMELL. The house may never recover, not to mention the bathroom floors. And poor boy #3 was feeling left out...needed attention...needed entertainment...so he picked a fight with puking boy #2 and then threw a GIANT tantrum!

Yes, now I had boy #1 puking and crying, boy #2 puking and yelling, and boy #3 destroying his room screaming and pounding that he wants to go home. And then there's me....on the verge of tears wanting my Tim to come home and help me cope. It was after 6 pm and I was no longer able to tend to all three sicky boys. Then boy #3 began to get violent...throwing things and was becoming a bit of a danger....he required all the attention...so I was praying and calling Tim...."COME HOME, TIM, I NEED YOU!" was my weepy cry. And he came 45 minutes later....

About 8:30pm I took puky boy #1 and #2 back to their family to get them away from boy #3 and to recover from our eventful weekend. And boy #3 was STILL tantruming....destroying almost eveything he could get his hands on (remember that we're planning a benefit dinner here at the house for Tuesday? I was enjoying the anxiety of having to clean up after this work week!). Then, at 9:30pm he finally ran out of steam and fell asleep. That's a good 4 hour tantrum! Impressive.

We didn't get to sleep until after midnight with two gravols each and oodles of prayer.

Boy #3 woke up the next morning not remembering anything. I woke up with a GIANT headache and tummy ache...hoping the flu hadn't decided to visit me again..... Tim woke up with a sore foot and a headache....and we were ALL emotionally empty and exhausted. Talk about attack. YUCK.

And today, I am tired and yet, full of hope because tomorrow cannot be worse than Sunday. It is becoming more and more real to me that the further we get along in our planning for the Philippines, the more adversity we will face...BUT, in the end, regardless of the journey...WE WIN BECAUSE......

1 John 4:4:
"You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the One who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world."

I AM SOOOO GLAD! Be blessed.
PS. I am still waiting for my first birth....no labor, yet! I'll keep you posted.

God's breaking my bank!

2007-02-01T15:56:00.000-08:00

We took dear Uncle Bob and Aunt Syl to the airport today....*sigh*. I am missing them already.

It's been an eventful week and somehow God has been very productive because we got nearly everything done that we had set out to do! We even got in a walk down by Kits Beach with our group home boys! With a hot drink in hand, we watched the sunset and felt the freezing wind ice our cheeks. Good times...hence the picture.

This Tuesday, Tim and I are having a benefit dinner to share our vision and describe our journey to the Philippines. Originally we had advertised it as a fun "Spaghett-to-gether"and we were going to charge $15 per plate. A week before the event, we only had one person signed up. I felt discouraged and confused. Sooo many people had showed an interest and many people had committed to coming and yet as time got closer, people started dropping like flies.

It was hard enough asking people to come to a dinner that I was cooking and charging $15 THEN asking them to partner with us monthly to support God's call of midwifery service in the developing world. I was feeling sick of focusing on money and finances....of planning and researching ways of funding our mission to the Philippines....it wasn't my heart....it wasn't ME...I didn't feel a peace about this dinner. I felt sick and I began to pray...

"Lord...there's gotta be an easier way...I just want to be a good steward of YOUR resources and I don't want to come across as a jerk or someone only concerned with money....and Lord, I want this process to build relationships and connect others with a vision....I want to excite people....what do I do, Lord!?"

And then I felt a peace. And the Lord whispered, "Did I tell you that you had to charge for this dinner? Just share my heart and do what you love to do....serve."

YEAH!!!! I felt released to be me...released to change the whole thought process of the evening. I immediately started calling old friends and people who I knew loved us.....even though we had thought of just sending some of these people letters, we now felt a release to serve them....FOR FREE....to share the vision person to person without fear of not getting reimbursed for the money put out for the food itself.

We called people we had never thought of before and people God had placed in our path just recently. We told them that we wanted them to come to a BIG free family benefit dinner at our house to raise awareness and support for the biggest change and move of our lives and that it was imperative that they be a part of that. Within two days we got 14 people! I ENJOYED inviting people to a relaxing and fun dinner at our house....it wasn't difficult and I didn't feel like I was trying to be someone I'm not.

With just a few days left before our BIG dinner, people are still writing and calling to let me know whether they can come. For the first time in fundraising for this MASSIVE undertaking, I feel at peace and without fear. I am so glad God owns the bank.

Because of the vision and calling God has made clear in our lives, we cannot stop what we are doing out of fear of financial insecurity....we press on. And when we get discouraged, we remember the passage God gave us two years ago.....

Hebrews 11:8-16

"8By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going. 9By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents, as did Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise. 10For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God.

11By faith Abraham, even though he was past age—and Sarah herself was barren—was enabled to become a father because he considered him faithful who had made the promise. 12And so from this one man, and he as good as dead, came descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as countless as the sand on the seashore.

13All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. 14People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. 15If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. 16Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them."

Yeah God! Be blessed!

Uncle Bob and Aunt Syl....

2007-01-28T17:32:00.000-08:00

G'day, friends and family! It's been a week of 'getting betters'.....the flu is passing. YEAH GOD! The "woman's curse" has FINALLY gone. YEAH GOD! And though things are busy, our home is feeling a bit more peaceful....dirty with brown hand prints on the wall from the kids and crumbs on the kitchen floor, but definitely peaceful. Thank you for your prayers!

The last few days, Tim and I have had the wonderful opportunity to hang out with our dear friends, Bob and Sylvia (we call 'em Uncle and Aunt, just cuz they're closer than just friends....). They have been strong towers in our walk with the Lord and with each other this passed year. We love them.

They wear their love for the Lord on their sleeves and it rubs off on their beautiful marriage ...it shows wherever they go. You can't help but sense the presence of God when they're around. They have allowed the Holy Spirit to move in them without fear and they've sacrificed their will to see God's will be done. Seeing Jesus in them is not only inspiring, but humbling. Their life is a love song to the Lord and a testimony of His power.

They're leaving this week....they're travelling to India to minister the love of Christ in a very tangible way...through 'living water'. The two of them in their 60s, are being empowered by the Holy Spirit to live in India for two months to build water filtration systems in remote villages while teaching sanitation and hygiene. This simple tool will save hundreds....perhaps THOUSANDS of lives in those villages! Check out www.impactnations.com if you wanna know more as to how they're doing all that!

Their lives show me how God's work in us is never "finished"...just because we get 'older' (and Bob and Syl are NOT OLD! :) just OLD-ER!) doesn't mean that God's through with us and we just wait for death...God always has some assignment for us no matter what age we are or what state our physical body is at. We have no excuse to wait for the Lord's return....we CHASE after His heart wherever He goes. I love that about Uncle Bob and Aunt Syl....they CHASE after the Father's heart and find it every time....and they don't follow behind it, sluggishly trying to catch up to it, they RUN with every fiber of their being to catch it and then they give it away.

I wanna be like that when I'm in my 60s. And I wanna run to the Philippines with the same vigor and strength that God has equipped our dear friends with. Fearless. Please pray for them as you read this, as they are totally relying on the power and guidance of God as they serve the people of India. Be blessed this week!

Trying not to dwell on the 'natural'....

2007-01-24T19:26:00.000-08:00

Good day, eh? The sun is FINALLY shining here in Vancouver...we've been itching for some sun and now you can REALLY see the tulip bulbs bursting with new growth!

I wish I could say the same for myself! It's been a rough couple of days....Saturday night I woke up with the chills, the aches and the RALPH!!! Yes, that is code for v-o-m-i-t. The flu had paid a visit...only I was the one that was paying! We were working with the kids and Tim had to take on more than the usual job 'cuz I was almost completely out of commission. He did great. He'll make an incredible dad someday....I love watching him.

As if the flu wasn't enough, I have been struggling with the "woman's curse"...you know what I mean...the "time of the month" stuff....for over 2 1/2 months.....yeah, that's right...NON-STOP. It's not too painful and Tim will tell you I've not been more moody that usual (cheeky grin!) and I write this mainly because I know most of the people who will read this are women and dear friends who know the struggles Tim and I have been through on this front over the last few years. But after 2 1/2 months....I'm tired and frustrated...annoyed and not ready to "just give up", but close.

So I was feeling blu with the flu and struggling with the weak state my body has been in and then the fears started to creep in like they do....Lie #1: "if you can barely do the job you have now with your health, how are you gonna serve others in the Philippines?"....Lie #2: "You're just gonna be a liability over there and if you just keep bleeding, you won't ever get pregnant anyway."...Lie #3: "God's obviously telling you that you gotta stay here and let the 'capable' people do the REAL work...He's not gonna provide for you what you need." This is the part where I roar like a lion and tell satan to go suck a lemon in Jesus' name!

But my body was still weak and in some ways my heart, an open wound.

But you know what happened? One of our 11 year-old boys in our group home wanted me to tuck him in Sunday night even though I looked like the south end of a horse. It wasn't because I do the best tucking-in job or because he wanted me to get him an extra blanket or some milk (which is usually the case...I'm such a bedtime sucker!). He wanted me to tuck him in so that HE could pray for ME! It's true! I cried as he started his prayer....

"Good ol' Jesus...could you pleeeeeeeeease get my bestest friend in the whole wide world better because she feels like poo and can't play with us as much AND because she's my friend....thanks....and...uh....please help it to snow tomorrow so we don't have school. Amen."

I laughed, my stomach churned, I groaned and our 11 year-old gave me a hug. It was exactly what I needed at that very moment. And I AM feeling way better today than I was that night! So it must've worked!

Our 11 year-old was hugely instrumental in helping me to stand and fight with the Holy Spirit the lies satan was throwing at me and the fears of not being good enough. And though I feel daily bombarded with thoughts that are not God's truth, I am blessed and encouraged by the supernatural faith and love God has placed in some of our kids and I am reminded that our army is stronger than satan's army. Even Jesus is interceding for us day and night (Romans 8:34)! And He is making me strong....because when I am weak....HE is strong (2 Corinthians 12:10) and HE is in me. AMEN!

A dollop of patience would help!

2007-01-20T13:33:00.000-08:00

This pic is of two of our boys after an awesome slide into a snow bank....note to self: 'skateboards without wheels CANNOT be used as snowboards'. Creative, though. As the snow melts and we embark on our last few months as "extended families" to these kids, I am humbled and blessed at these last four years....unless I dwell on this:

"B. Oh Beeeeeeeeeee! Beeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Where are you Beeeeeeee??"

This is where you find me in the closet eating chocolate covered almonds trying to find my "happy place". Yeah, that's been my weekend. We have a four-year-old and a nine year-old who sound extremely alike....so much so that I often confuse the two piercing voices in unison saying, "Beeeeeeeee, oooohhhh Beeeeeeee?" (that's what they call me because they have issues saying my name.) My nieces and nephews call me 'Aunt B', my friends' boy calls me "Unca B" (he hasn't figured out that 'unca' is a boy and 'auntie' is a girl, but I'm okay with that now. :) Some of our other kids here call me "B-Bear".....one of the boys refers to me as "Barfany"...

I'm okay with all the silly names, but the kids yelling from every corner of the house: "BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?" is getting really....ummm, ANNOYING!!! The high-pitched squeals of searching for their servant caregiver get really old after a while. The kids don't come and find me, they just yell... and if I come find them, I get some of the weirdest and most retarded questions ever so I've resorted to waiting until they find ME. And then when they do, I ask them what they need and they say, "Oh, I forgot." LOVELY! Anyways, today I need more patience. Thus I hide in the closet or the bathroom and breathe deep until my blood pressure lowers and the urge to scream passes.

God knew what I needed when He gave me Tim.....he'll often hear the kids before I do (because he's often in the same room when they start yelling!) and he'll say, "Hey! Why can't you ask ME the question? Why bug B...she's busy!" Oh, bless my hubby-man! And for a few short moments, all will be quiet and well......

Oh, Lord, give me patience!

We told the Ministry of Children and Families (our employer) that we would not be signing a new contract in May as usual because we would be moving overseas. What we thought was going to be a difficult and somewhat emotional conversation turned to one of great joy and encouragement. Our supervisor was clearly excited for the journey Tim and I had ahead of us and wanted to offer a strong congratulations. She also shared how appreciative she is for the "exceptional job" we've done here at the house. We were blessed, but later found out that upon our departure, they would be closing the house down and not hiring a replacement. That's when we began to feel a sense of loss....these kids and their families will not have this resource soon....it is now that I realize how petty my lack of patience this weekend has been.

With only 4 1/2 months to go before we never see these children again, I hide at the sound of them calling my name and I impatiently answer their questions....."Oh what a wretched woman I am!" And I am humbled.

"Lord, forgive me for now exemplifying You. How can I serve You better by serving these kids?" Ugh.

Be blessed.

BIG GOD, little blessings......

2007-01-16T12:48:00.000-08:00

As I walked out to the garage today, I noticed the spring bulbs I'd planted had partially come up! CONFUSION! It's been snowing here on and off since November and these little tulip, hyacinth and daffodil bulbs should NOT be pushing up the dirt! They are supposed to be sleeping until late February! But as you can see from the photos, these dear ones are already saying winter is passing......

God reminded me of something very dear to my heart. I planted that garden 3 years ago as a result of getting fed up with an out-of-control morning glory vine. (You may recall the post I wrote last year regarding my passion flower.)

Each year, I've decided to experiment with planting from seed and planting more interesting bulbs as well as transplanting and collecting seeds in the fall from existing flowers for planting later. This passed year was no different. Last fall was the biggest effort I had put out to make this novice garden look lovely all spring and summer.

I had planted anticipating a hardy season of bloom....excited to see what combinations would come up as I blindly threw out seeds and bulbs. And when the Lord asked us to move to the Philippines, we did not hesitate, but that was in October and the garden work had already been done. I was a little dismayed when I realized that it would mean not seeing my labours bear fruit in our yard. But it hit me today....the bulbs are already coming up and we leave in July! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!? YES! It means I get to see the beautiful creativity of the Lord in my garden all spring and a little into Summer!!! I even get to see the first blooms of my passion flower! What a blessing! God knew what a blessing my garden has been to me....it has sustained me time and time again when things have been rough and God has used it over and over to speak to me and show me His heart.....and so God knew the timing would be perfect to move....with just enough time to enjoy the fruit of my labours from last fall.

I am so grateful we serve a God who sees our hearts, listens to our cries, and knows our passions....He is soooo good! I'll be sure to post the lovely garden photos as soon as they pop out! Be blessed and know your God is watching out for you!

Headed to the garage.......

2007-01-14T17:10:00.000-08:00

Greetings, friends! I posted this pic because I realized the other day that we don't have any pictures of Tim and I together!! This is one from his brother, Joshua's wedding. It also reminded me of how far we've come! This was just over a year ago! Who would've thought so much could happen in a year! We certainly didn't know at the time of this picture that we'd be moving half-way around the world! God works fast, ya know? Anyways.....

What a CRAZY week it's been! Tim and I have been planning, planning, planning.....so much to do. Today I got an e-mail from someone leaving our future home of Davao and is selling all their possessions to come home! Because our future apartment won't have a stove, fridge, or anything else, we have to purchase those big items ahead of time and then find a place to store them until we arrive. Whew. It's a strange feeling to buy such large items never laying eyes on them until we actually take possession of them!

Meanwhile, we're trying to get the logistical things done here....cleaning the garage and the office to sort stuff...what do we sell, what do we give away, what do we keep.....I made a checklist of all the things we must do before we move and the list was loooooooooong. Somewhat overwhelming, but each month we can get a few things on the list accomplished and maybe it won't seem so impossible. On top of all that, we still gotta do more fundraising!

This week, we tackle the garage.

There is a sick side of me that is actually looking forward to stepping into the chilly, spider-infested, box-filled garage. Much to Tim's dismay, I am excited to finally open some of our boxes with a few of our wedding gifts from over 4 years ago! It's true! We moved into our group home almost 6 months after we were married, so many of the wedding gifts we received (especially the pretty glass things) were unable to be used in our children's home....so they got stored in the dark, cold, dirty garage. Then there's the mass-quantities of university textbooks and sheet music.....the really old, beat-up pots and pans passed down from one Stewart to the next.....the gross junky blankets I used to sleep on in dorms....I think I even have one with Mickey Mouse on it! Ahhh, memories.....the ones you can't wait to get rid of!

I think the process is good. As we begin to simplify our life by ridding ourselves of the things we don't need, we are also giving ourselves time to grieve over the life we thought we'd have. You know...the white picket fence with the golden retriever and 2.5 kids. Uh-uh. Not for us. I'm talking about grieving over losing all security in "stuff". It's amazing how quickly having "stuff" can give you a sense of security, of pride, and accomplishment....and yet, it's amazing how quickly it can become worthless, pointless, and degraded to a pile of, well, junk.

However, there are some items we WILL NOT sell or give away...we want something to pass on to our children as our parents did to us, but we are really beginning to realize how blessed we have been and how little we really need. God is definitely stretching us!

And so Tim and I have planned a very intimate date day of purging the past and preparing for the future.

Humbled....again.

2007-01-11T11:51:00.000-08:00

Many blessings to you all! I pray things are peaceful in your worlds....it's snowing again here. Annoying as it can be, it really does give a sense of peace and calmness.

I have to say, I was overwhelmed by the comments left on last post. I was truly blessed. And humbled. I wish I could be more like the person you described, but I am a work in progress, right? Good thing, too!

This pic is of my niece, Justice. I love the way she is curiously peering right into the center of the camera as if to say, "Yes, you have my attention....what do you want!?" She doesn't seem to have any fear of me getting just inches away from her face....yet if I had been any closer, she would've slobbered the camera....she's teething...enough said.

She looks so confident and fearless.... at only 6 months-old, she can read a room from top to bottom in seconds....her eyes scan every piece and her hands reach out to whatever she desires....fearlessly. You have to watch her, too, because she'll take whatever you have right out from under you! She's driven.....fearless.

I want to be like that....not teething and slobbery!...but confident, fearless and reaching for everything the Lord places in my path. As Tim and I fund raise, pack, sell, and buy for the Philippines, there is a large part of me that struggles with fear. It isn't a fear of typhoid, AIDS, planes crashing, icky water, lack of money, a new culture, another language, distance from all family and friends, security, and a lack of possessions.....it's a fear of not being able to grasp and retain all the information and skill of midwifery....a fear of reading my textbooks and getting to the last chapter only to realize I have NO IDEA what I've been reading!

You might say, "That's silly! There are so many other things to worry about, B!" But truly....school was tough the first time and university even more so....what makes me think I can grasp medical terminology? Well......all I can say is that it is the grace of God! I really believe His grace is what is going to get me through the next couple of years! Yes, for now, the finances keep me awake at night, but during the day, my mind is filled with medical "mumbo-jumbo", pieces of puzzles that don't seem to match.

But then I look at Justice's pic and remember that even when I was her age, God knew and predestined me to go to the Philippines to learn and practice midwifery in His name. So He knows my fear and He knows what I need. Whew....maybe I'll sleep better tonight!

Be blessed and please pray for me if I pop into your head this week! Thanks!

"WANTED: A changed atmosphere"......

2007-01-07T14:06:00.000-08:00

Happy first Sunday of 2007! I must say since my last post, I have been feeling a bit better....people must be praying for me! If you're one of them, thank you!

This picture was taken while we were on our vacation last August. I posted it this week because I loved the way this little goat stuck like glue to the other.....the older goat looks so proud to protect and guide the little young kid.....it blessed me. Anyways.........

You might be wondering "Bethany, what's with the title?"

Well, this morning my father-in-law shared on "changing our atmosphere" in our communities from an atmosphere of the world, to one immersed in heaven......no, not streets of gold, angels playing harps and mass quantities of chocolate....but our communities full of the presence of God...healings, miracles, overwhelming joy, great peace, strength and glorifying God amidst trials and suffering, joining with others to alleviate the sufferings of others, etc. While he was sharing this blessed hope, I couldn't help but be reminded of a long conversation I had with a boy in our group home......

He's only 9, but struggles with more worries and issues than most adults struggle with in their entire lifetime. He is a booger at times, but he is a very genuine person, honest and real no matter what it costs him.

Last night he was anticipating a horrible night of bad dreams, sleepwalking, fear, and restlessness. He cried and tried everything he could to get out of having to sleep. He brushed his teeth twice, needed milk...then needed WARM milk, then a glass of water, some tissue, a new nightlight, a new blanket, the windows locked, the bathroom door shut, the bedroom door open, a second pee, a new book just in case he couldn't get to sleep, a stuffed animal, ANOTHER blanket, his coat and bag blocking the bathroom door cracks.......AAACCKK! I was spent....but as I began to FINALLY tuck him in, he started to share his fears......

One by one, he let the fears come out...his fear of being a bad boy and not pleasing his family, of disappointing God, of wondering why he was even born, of being frustrated that he was such a wimp, of never seeing his dad again, of God hating him, of boogie-men trying to break into his room, of aliens trying to get his attention by knocking on his window (it was just the rain). Whew. This kid was nervous and scared of EVERYTHING......After 45 minutes of letting him ramble about every injustice in his life, he ASKED me to change his atmosphere. He said, "B, what can you do to make it go away?" I thought he'd never ask.

I said that I couldn't take away his fears, but that I knew the guy who could. I first explained that God made him the way he was for a reason and that God knew exactly who and what he was going to be long before he was even born....he then asked why God would make such a big mistake by making him so naughty and full of fear....an honest question! The truth is, God made him just the way He wanted him to be, but without fear. The fear he felt was a result of another guy....satan. I told him that satan often tries to get us to stay awake all night fearing that God hates us and wants to punish us, but that isn't who God is.....I recited 2 Timothy 1:7,
“For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” God does not put fear into us! He calls us His kids! Our boy didn't believe me. He said, "B, can you write those verses down for me and show me where they are found?"

"Oh yeah!" I said. I printed out Psalm 139 for him and translated it into a kid-friendly version and stuck it in a Bible bookmarked to Psalm 139 and 2 Timothy 1:7. He read the passages and began to cry when he read that he is "fearfully and wonderfully made...without mistake". I told him again that it was the truth. He had trouble believing God really actually liked him. How sucky is that....to believe God hates you!? That's heavy!
The two of us prayed and even told satan to take a flying leap back to where he came from and thanked God for His protection and His love. The atmosphere of his room changed....it really did! Heaven reigned in his room.

This morning, our boy woke up claiming that he only woke up twice just to read the passages I'd given him and then he fell asleep again without any nightmares! What a joy! He later shared that he was REALLY glad that he knew God didn't hate him and wasn't disappointed with him. What a change. His life humbles me. I will miss these boys when we move.

Be blessed and read Psalm 139 again and think about how God REALLY sees you!

A New Year, a new focus....

2007-01-04T20:47:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! It's officially 2007....perhaps the busiest year of my life yet....and probably yours, too!? We had the wonderful opportunity of spending new years time with Tim's family this week.
We got to hold our niece, Justice and our nephew, Micah and play games with the fam. Despite some difficult and emotional circumstances, the weekend was joyful and peaceful. We even managed to fit in another Benefit Tea for the Philippines and keep our group home kids happy and included in all the festivities!

Now back to work. Holidays are over and it's "pedal to the metal" with fundraising and selling the contents of our home. And it's no surprise that just when I need to get things going and the ball a-rolling, that satan kicks me and tries to send me sailing off course. The last two days I have been faced with disturbing dreams and frustrating temptation. I won't tell you details, because I am sure you can relate without me sharing further.

You'd think that now that I have a distinct focus and a clear call, that I should be able to just fix my eyes on Jesus and the goal of our journey and fight the temptation. But no...I am once again humbled by my unmistakable need for my Saviour. Though I feel spirits lurking around every corner ready to pounce on my vulnerable spirit, you'd think it would lead me to crying out for Jesus, but no....my weak spirit does cry out for His help, but my flesh gives in. Then I loathe my flesh once more and cry out for mercy in repentance. What a wretched woman I am! (Romans 7) Paul understood and both his calling and vision were far beyond mine.

I desired to start 2007 off with a clean and pure slate and already the fiery darts have burned holes in my character and tried to cauterize the flow of His Spirit. I am desperate for His washing...His freedom-giving, anti-bacterial soap. "Lord Jesus, I am sorry for not trusting that Your grace is sufficient for me and that You will never allow me to walk in temptation without giving me a way out. (1 Corinthians 10:13) I am sorry for not choosing the way out."

2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."

This is my prayer.

May the Lord fill you with His Spirit that you may not fall into temptation, in Jesus' Name. Be Blessed.

Enjoying precious time with precious lives......

2006-12-28T19:36:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas everyone! I pray your holiday was filled with Christ's joy and peace!

Tim and I had the wonderful opportunity to go visit my
family in Oregon this passed week for Christmas.

It was extra special because we knew this would be our last Christmas together. We also got to hang out with my nephew, Benjamin, and my niece, Grace for three days in a row! What a blessing! Here are a few pics from the few days we had.

There's something very powerful in spending time with children who know Jesus. My niece and nephew are growing up in a Christian home where both parents are completely and helplessly in love with Jesus and it shows in their children.

As I sang Christmas Carols and "Be Patient" and "Silent Night" with Grace, her joy spread throughout the entire room and none of us could bear to keep a straight face. And little Benjamin, with His peaceful spirit and his gentle hugs and touches melted our hearts. What a joy to be with them and experience Jesus in them. I loved their honesty and their purity of heart. They had a desire to serve and to include. Every activity was met with Grace saying, "B, ya wanna play with me?" and "Uncle Fuzz! Come see this!" and "Grma Con! Come sing with me!" and "Papa Jim! Ya want sum cookies?" And baby Ben was always quick to hug and put everything in his mouth!

Even when my best friend, Alissa, came bowling with us Grace and Ben smiled, played and gave kisses and hugs to her! I was blessed. It reminded me of how God is so inclusive and gracious....He invites people into His plans and into His play....His Son brings Him such joy that He cannot wait to share Him with others to bless them. And He has....my prayer is that when Tim and I journey to the Philippines, we will never take advantage of this precious time with such precious lives and that His Son is always close.
Be blessed and have a wonderful New Year!

Sorry for the delay...I was away...that rhymed!

2006-12-19T10:06:00.000-08:00

I actually was not away....just didn't quite make it to the computer. It has been a busy season. And this is my 90th post!! And this is little Seth...he's my good friend....so is his mom, Rebecca...my dear, dear friend. I got to meet him for the first time last week. What a blessing.

No doubt you are experiencing the busyness of the holidays, too. On Saturday, we had our very first fundraiser. It was a Christmas Benefit Tea with all your high tea English favorites! We had a gas! A lot of hard work, but great fun and we had a pretty good turn out of ladies.

In this crazy season of crowded malls and shopping centers, kids having to go to one Christmas program after another, holiday parties and work get-togethers, visiting relatives we're not so keen on, driving in rush hour to get to some party you HAVE to make an appearance at....it's a wonder we have time to open all those presents! (Notice I left out something VERY important about CHRISTmas.)

I was at the gym yesterday and there were quite a few ladies there who don't know Jesus and frankly have a poor view of Him. They know that I am a Christian, but they think I am an anomaly because I haven't gone political on them, yet. ;) But one thing struck me about their speaking on Christmas. They HATED this time of year! Really!

One lady was frustrated because she couldn't find anything for her grandkids that they haven't already received. Another was complaining that she goes into debt every year as a result of this "season of giving"....and another said she just stop giving altogether and stated that her family just needed to love her for her and not for what she gives at Christmastime. Whoa....how sad.

What about the joy of knowing that a Saviour has come to offer us freedom from death? What about the giving spirit that just says, "I'm blessing you with a gift because God has blessed me with the Ultimate gift!"? What about serving others as Christ served us? And what about the peace of knowing that one day, we will celebrate the true Christmas WITH Jesus in HIS home?

The world is FINALLY recognizing that Christmas as THEY know it, is missing something VERY important. They are finally understanding how cheap and meaningless our world has made this miraculous holiday. They are finally realizing how empty and tired they are of sin. Good thing we have this Christmas thing every year because it's just gonna get worse until we communicate God's greatest Christmas gift. His Son. Merry Christmas and may you sense His presence (presents) this week and may He give you boldness to tell the truth about Christmas. :)

Christmastime is HERE!

2006-12-11T18:30:00.000-08:00

Don't you love that Charlie Brown rendition of "Christmastime is Here...." with Vince Guaraldi? The kids always gag because I put in on 'repeat' in the morning. I love it.

God has been so good to us in the group home this year. We have three boys that we (miraculously) are allowed to bring to church on Sundays. These guys are a tough crowd, but have been on a journey of learning how to worship God both inside and outside the church. They have tried to be respectful and one even said, "Bethany, I wanna try and be good at church so that all the other parents will be jealous of you..."!

I laughed. They are beginning to set the example in Sunday School...both good and bad.

But this Sunday was extra special. The boys got to be in the children's Christmas play! They woke up early all ready to get out the door.....they ran to the church and gathered at the back room where they were supposed to....they waited in line as they filed on the stage in their shepherd costumes....they waved at Tim taking pictures and at me waving back.....they said their lines (which were, "ME", and "YOU"....you had to be there...they had the biggest part.)....then they quietly filed back into line and exited the stage! I was STUNNED! I almost felt like a REAL parent! They were sooooo good and soooo nervous....it was almost like they were NORMAL kids, too! What a joy to see!

To know that these boys have seen firsthand that our Saviour, Jesus, was born to save us from sin and death delights me more than I can say. They got to be the shepherds that witnessed His coming! I pray they never forget this precious Sunday when they were a part of the true meaning of Christmas. God is good.

Then we came home and they opened presents! This weekend was a gift.
Be blessed and keep those comments coming!

"Goodbye fair city..."

2006-12-08T18:19:00.000-08:00

Ahhh, Vancouver at night. This is one of my favorite Tim photos. I was just reflecting today on all the wonderful memories we've made in this fair city over the past 6 years.

I met Tim here...we had our first kiss here....we got married here....and tons of others....those are just the biggies.

God has been so good to us and I can honestly say that I have no regrets moving here and I have no problem leaving here. It's odd.

Perhaps it's because God has paved the way for us to go- providing even the teeniest of needs...like people signing up for our fundraisers! One of my dearest friends is coming up from Seattle just to come to our Christmas Tea! What a blessing! And then Tim and I had to get our Hep A and B immunizations....we thought we had to go to our doctor (we don't really have one) in order to get the shots, but found out that you can buy them over-the-counter and have one of my nursing friends administer it! Cool! No waiting in lines! Sweet! This may not seem like a big deal, but it is to me!

Even the color copies we had to get for our letters originally were going to cost $.75 per copy and we had a bunch, but then Tim found a place that would do it for $.19 per copy!!! Way cool.

And you know, satan knows that God is our source and has already tried to get us distracted and frustrated. Just this passed weekend, we had one of our boys in our group home go off the deep end. I mean...REALLY freak out. He tore his room to shreds leaving nothing untouched. He even wrecked the closet and proceeded to use every obscenity known to man in between hurling insults at Tim and me. It was pretty brutal. We prayed, but he continued. We finally had to take him out of our program. At the end of it all, we were tired, worn, and emotionally drained. We had nothing left, but a lot of work still had to be done.

But God has still been so faithful to remind us that these occurrences are satan's way of trying to take away our joy and excitement....to get us to feel as though we cannot handle the pressures of living overseas- especially if we cannot even control a tantrumming 11 year-old! But God gives us II Corinthians 12: 8-10, which says:

8Three times I (that's me, Bethany!) pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me (all the emotional and crazy junk that goes with running a group home and my inability to cope with all the new stresses). 9But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I (Bethany) will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. , for when I am weak, then I am strong."

Yeah!!! God's power within me makes me able to endure whatever satan tries to push my way! Thank you, Lord, for fighting my battles and reminding me that You've already won! His grace is sufficient for you!

Keep those comments coming! Many blessings to you as we prepare to celebrate the greatest Christmas gift ever.....Jesus! Peace.

And now we begin the hard part......

2006-12-05T09:51:00.000-08:00

This picture is one Tim took of one of our kids facing the homemade snow jump without fear....but the next picture he took was of her falling off the crazy carpet face first! Cool. I think it illustrates how I'm feeling...."whoa".

Did you ever have to sell girls scout cookies or candy bars in school? Or maybe you had to get people to sign a petition or vote for something.

I did. I hated it. The feeling of having to sell something to someone....to explain to them why YOUR cause was important....the fear of rejection...of inconveniencing them....I knew the chocolate was stale and the cookies, well....they were good. But I hated selling. Still do.

My dad always ended up buying the whole box of chocolate or cookies....he knew the pain of having to go door to door just hoping the person on the other side of the portal wasn't rolling their eyes at another kid selling junk food. Thanks, Dad.

But now, here I am, preparing to make the move of a lifetime and thinking about the "upfront" costs makes my mind spin. I'm that shy, scared little girl fearing rejection once again. We have to raise $2000.00 for airfare, over $1000.00 for our visas and immunizations, $4250.00 per semester for tuition, an additional $1000.00/month for rent, food, water, etc. On top of that, we cannot work in the Philippines! Mmmm. Something's not adding up, B.

Then I think, "What are you doing, Bethany? Are you nuts!? This is the start of financial insecurity for life....your well-being dependent on the generosity of others!" I have to give it over to God once more. Yeah, I'm pretty nuts.

The cry of my heart and the desire God's placed in Tim and I is to serve the poor without having to fear whether we can continue to live in their land.....to immerse ourselves in their culture and bless them in the name of Jesus....to show them that Christ's love knows no boundaries....not even the earthly territorial boundaries we have set up.

Once I give Him these concerns....He always shows up in one way or another. A day or two ago, Tim and I were writing our letter of intent for enrollment for the school and we were to send a chunk of moola by April 1st, 2007 to hold our place and you know what happened?
That chunk of moola was there....sitting in our account.....all ready to go and instead of sending the moola by April 1st, we sent it this morning! Praise God! It was like God quietly saying, "Bethany, I got your back...I've called you and when I guide, I provide".

And then Naomi and I are hosting 4 Christmas English High Teas of 12 women each to raise awareness and money towards the midwifery ministry and you know what? People actually want to come! They are signing up! Isn't that crazy!? Some of them are complete strangers, too! We haven't had to go door to door. We just have to knock and find rest at God's door and He does the rest. Whew.

This is really happening. I am humbled and I am choosing to trust.
Keep those comments coming! :)

HERE WE GO!!!!

2006-12-02T22:28:00.000-08:00

Guess what?! Are you ready for this??

Are you sure??

Here it goes.....

WE JUST GOT ACCEPTED INTO THE MIDWIFERY PROGRAM AT NEWLIFE INTERNATIONAL AND WE'RE MOVING TO DAVAO CITY, PHILIPPINES IN JUNE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As noted in previous posts, we were planning on this, but now it's actually official! We received the acceptance letter yesterday and now have to start fundraising.

The midwifery classes start September 3rd and Tim and I must move into our new home in the Philippines 6-8 weeks prior. We plan to leave at the end of June or early July. In the meantime, we have to sell EVERYTHING. Everything. It's a very strange feeling to know that we won't need any of the stuff we now have and we can't take it with us anyway. Sounds a little like Heaven, eh? It's true....all our "possessions", toys, claims to fame, heirlooms, and treasures all have to stay here on earth when we die and enter Heaven. What's even better is that everything we need is provided for us in Heaven 'cuz Jesus said He was preparing a place for us (John 14:1-3). You're probably thinking, "Gosh, B, you're taking us on a rabbit trail!" Well, maybe a little, but bear with me here......

You see, Hebrews 11: 8-16 is a passage of Scripture that God gave me 3 years ago and has reminded me of it over and over and over again....and it has everything to do with leaving everything behind to go to a scary and unknown place....the place that God is preparing for us OR maybe He's preparing US for IT....the Philippines. Take a look at the Scripture:

"8By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going. 9By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents, as did Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise. 10For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God.

Tim and I have no idea what we are walking into and we're scared spitless, but we know that God is speaking and we know our inheritance and true homeland is where Jesus is. Heaven. With that in mind, we joyfully leave behind the life we now know and look forward to stepping on to a path that God has prepared for us. God is faithful and we believe that the Philippines is God's best for us...we can't wait to see glimpses of Heaven in the Philippines! We also believe that in His timing, we will have our own children despite the doubts of doctors around us, and that when our journey here on earth is done, we will enjoy our faithful Saviour in the true country and homeland He is preparing for us.

May you look forward to your inheritance and live as an alien for now. WE'RE ALIENS, MAN! :) Be blessed.

White as Snow.....

2006-11-29T17:38:00.000-08:00

Yup, our house...it's still snowing....lovely Vancouver weather....abnormal, but lovely.

We had such a great time playing in the snow this passed weekend....the boys built snow forts, skating ramps and had snowball fights! It was good to just let them go while I got to stand in the warm kitchen drinking coffee waiting for them to rush in with the latest "He hit me" or "so-and-so won't stop bugging me" or the classic, "so-and-so threw a snowball at my head!!"

Yeah, it's bound to happen...the whole snowball in the head thing...what'd you expect to happen during a snowball fight? Silly boys.

Despite having to work during the weather surprise, Tim and I had a really peaceful weekend...and managed to get sooo much done as a result of being confined to our home.

I think God knew we needed a couple days of peace...a quiet house....the peaceful snow gently covering every inch of the city....the only sounds in the house are the furnace, the fireplace, and the occasional telephone call. It's given us time to rejuvenate, set some priorities and thank the Lord for providing the snow. It's an amazing reminder of His creativity and beauty.

It also reminds me of how faithful He is to give me many "second chances". There have been days this week when I have been frustrated and low....vulnerable to temptation and open for sin and yet this snowfall has led me to Psalm 51...no doubt King David was in a similar place when he wrote this.....

1 "Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.

2 Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.

3 For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.

4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you are proved right when you speak
and justified when you judge.

5 Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.

6 Surely you desire truth in the inner parts;
you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.

7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.

8 Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.

9 Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.

10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

11 Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.

12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will turn back to you.

14 Save me from bloodguilt, O God,
the God who saves me,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.

15 O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare your praise.

16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.

17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise.

18 In your good pleasure make Zion prosper;
build up the walls of Jerusalem.

19 Then there will be righteous sacrifices,
whole burnt offerings to delight you;
then bulls will be offered on your altar."

He is so faithful to forgive, so willing to start afresh and make me white as snow...and He doesn't just COVER the sin with snow like the blanket of snow that covers the ground, He penetrates it causing me to be transformed.....He washes me so that I am white as snow. *sigh* I am broken.
May He encourage you with His love and kindness!

American Thanksgiving......

2006-11-27T15:56:00.000-08:00

Last week, Tim and I had the opportunity to visit my family in Oregon for American Thanksgiving! What a VERY busy week it was!
Here's a pic of Tim and I with our precious nephew, Benjamin.

As I mentioned a couple of posts ago, Tim and I also were planning on meeting with the directors of the Newlife International School of Midwifery we're hoping to attend in September! So last Tuesday, we drove to Vancouver, Washington to finally introduce ourselves to the long-time directors of the Philippines-based school.

We had 3 1/2 hours with them! They shared how the school started, what their long-term vision was for their students, the realities of living on the mission field and how we can better prepare for the culture shock. They were real, concise and forthcoming.....they communicated to us the incredible costs of living in the third world....like the inevitability of diarrhea and sickness....the prevalence of poverty and the intense midwifery education program. And instead of a two-year program, it looks like it will end up being a four-year program! They didn't paint a pretty, fulfilling and easy road, but they were blunt and warned us that the next four years could not be endured without the power of God, a strong backbone, a humble spirit, and a teachable heart. FUN!

After all that, Tim and I were greatly encouraged. We know it won't be a Sunday School picnic, but we're excited to enter into our destiny with Christ. We are afraid, but not fearful....I don't think any amount of information or prep can prepare us for the journey, but we are praying for God's best and His will be done.

After our time with the directors, we raced to my parents house to call our partners in crime, Naomi and Chad. We both became cautiously excited and looked forward to coming home to Vancouver to chat some more....whew.

Then we went and babysat my niece and nephew! What a precious blessing they are! Baby Ben is 9 months and Gracie is almost 3! Time has just flown by!! Our time with my family was fantastic and I was thankful that I had a chance to spend some one-on-one time with my mom and my buddy, Alissa. They are such an encouragement to me!

Anyways, that's the latest update...thanks for reading and for praying, too! I will post again soon. And I pray that you will be encouraged this week to do the impossible in Jesus' Name!
Be blessed!

God's answering machine......

2006-11-20T09:11:00.000-08:00

"Hello, you've reached God....I'm not here to take your call right now, but if you leave a message, I'll send somebody to call you back as soon as I stop caring for the rest of the world. Take care!"

Ever feel this way? Don't you love it when you've been trying to get a hold of someone and over and over again you just get their answering machine? Do you get tired of leaving messages? Well, something hit me this week as I was reflecting on my Bible Study homework...yeah, I got homework! Ya know, we have FULL, FREE access to God whenever we want?

Romans 5:1-4 says, "Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope."

FULL access into His grace....meaning, we can come to His throne freely without reservation or fear because we have been covered by His grace.....take a look at Hebrews 4: 14-16, which says, "Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."

Whoa! That's so cool!
I found a poem online at another lady's blog....the author is unknown, but there is a little portion of that poem that really illustrates how good we humans have it....it's called "Hello God, I called Tonight"....the poem is a lot longer and cheesier, so I just included the last portion....

"I thank you God, for being home
And listening to my call,
For giving me such good advice
When I stumble and fall.
Your number, God, is the only one
That answers every time
I never get a busy signal,
Never had to pay a dime
So, thank you God for listening
To my troubles and my sorrows.
Good night, God, I love you, too!
And I'll call again tomorrow!"

Cheesy, but effective. "What is man, that you are mindful of him, mere man that you should care." (Psalm 8:3-5) But He does care. God never has us talk to his secretary or His voice recording...we get to go directly to the Source....to the God who never sleeps, who always cares, whose plans are always for good. Long sigh. I don't think I give Him all the glory He is due. Mmmmmm.

Telemarketers are a blessing?

2006-11-16T08:52:00.000-08:00

I had an interesting phone call the other day! I had been praying that God would continue to encourage and excite Tim and I in the coming journey and all the planning in the meantime.....and He did....again.

So the phone rang and I picked up....a 1-800 number. I sighed and felt prepared enough to chat with the telemarketer....selling Fido phones. Because Tim and I are leaving in September, we can't sign on to another cell phone plan, so I just listened to the lady's way cool accent.

After about 3 minutes, she reached a pause in her scripted offer and I said, "Hold on, hold on...can I ask a question?" She said, "uhhm...yeah." I asked, "Where are you from originally?"......silence.....

Then she said, "You mean, my nationality?"

I said, "Yeah, you have a great accent! Where are you from?"

Ya know what she said? She said, "I'm Filipina! Why?"

Oh let me tell ya!! From there we got into a long conversation about her life and she even taught me a few words in Tagalog...the native language of the Philippines. She was excited to hear what we'd be doing there and confirmed the need for midwives in the southern areas of the country. In the end I prayed for her that she would sell lots of phones and she laughed and said that she felt she'd already made her quota. God is funny. I think God had her phone my house just to bless me. God does that kind of stuff. He is sooo good and sooo faithful.

Is God showing you how much He loves you in obscure ways today!? Let me know! Thank you for commenting and many blessings!

Sliding into the 'great unknown'..........

2006-11-13T14:00:00.000-08:00

This last weekend, the boys used all the blankets and pillows, bean bags and cushions to make a MONSTER slide. Using an old lettuce cardboard box with a pillow on the bottom, they created a 'bobsled' to slide down the stairs into a mound of soft fluff.

Genius.

Sorry I can't show you the faces of our boys as they flew into the pile of linens, but the look on their faces was one of terror and joy....PURE JOY! They made me laugh. You could hear their screams and giggles throughout the entire house....and the remnants of their adventure lingered on my white walls with the art of sweaty hand prints and black-sock marks....lovely.

But I have to say, I was impressed with their creativity and ability to get over the fear of bashing their head into the stair railing (which happened once or twice...no tears, just some bruised pride) :)

But something else hit me....despite their slight hesitation climbing into their 'bobsled' and the terror on their faces, they scooted their bums off the edge and AWAY they flew with joy. Perhaps they felt safe with Tim and I standing just a few feet away...knowing that if anything happened to them, we'd come running....or be sued! Or maybe it was their subconscious thoughts saying that the adventure of the slide far outweighed the scary risk of bashing their heads open. Mmmmm.

That's like us when God calls us out....when He gives us an open door to our dreams and destiny, we have a very real choice to hesitate and back away or press in and scoot off the edge into the full trust and faithfulness of a God who carries us. That's how I feel about moving overseas....a huge risk...I am full of joy....and terror. Yet, He stands behind me and in front of me...there to carry me as I take off into the unknown.

Even this week, God gave me another encouragement in the risky journey by setting up a time when Tim and I are down in Oregon for Thanksgiving to meet with the director of the Newlife International School of Midwifery! She just happens to be in the area at the same time! PRAISE GOD! I am humbled by His faithfulness. He speaks. Whoa. I can trust my faithful, loving God to prepare the path and take joy in the risks. He is good!

Is there anything God is asking you to do (or be) that requires you to "scoot your bum off the edge" into the great unknown? It could be something BIG or small. Don't hesitate...take joy and sail into His destiny! Read this and be encouraged!

Zephaniah 3: 14-17........

"Sing, O Daughter of Zion;
shout aloud, O Israel!
Be glad and rejoice with all your heart,
O Daughter of Jerusalem!

The LORD has taken away your punishment,
he has turned back your enemy.
The LORD, the King of Israel, is with you;
never again will you fear any harm.

On that day they will say to Jerusalem,
"Do not fear, O Zion;
do not let your hands hang limp.

The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing."

Be blessed and keep those comments coming! Tell me your risks!

"The rest of the story...so far....(Part 3)

2006-11-10T19:35:00.000-08:00

This picture was taken by Tim at a nearby park....it's of our friends' 2 year-old. He's precious. But it reminded me that nothing is impossible with God...this 2 year-old may be small and the basketball hoop super tall, but with God we can grow to tackle any battle....score ANY goal. And now back to the story......

So what do you think Tim said??...... after I shared my guts...poured them out on the table....the table covered in budget papers....he said, "Sure, when do we go and how much do we need?"

"Uhhhhm....really? You're okay with this?" I said. The only question he had was, "Umm, what am I gonna do there while you're in school?"

I hadn't thought that far ahead, other than to think about him doing more photography, but somehow ideas flooded my head....definitely GOD! I told him that I thought he could work with Impact Nations (the ministry we went to the Dominican with) planning and ministering with them...that he could teach music lessons to children in the area and maybe work in area churches doing what he loves...worship!....these were just ideas, of course.

But Tim caught the vision, too, and said, "Well, we should probably call Naomi and Chad and see if they wanna come over for dinner tomorrow night, eh?" Oh, wow this was going FAST!

So we phoned them and they were ecstatic to come over....and they did come over that Tuesday night for 7 hours! We talked about the dreams and visions God had placed in us early in life and how we believed that God was knitting our hearts together already for a distinct purpose. They even suggested we apply together and go with them to the Philippines! They began to share how they thought the four of us could open safe birthing centers in the third world after getting our degrees and how Chad and Tim could use their talents to bless others and make connections for long-term fundraising! It was just sooo God. Every bit of it was encouraging and exhorting. We were fully blessed that God would bring us this amazing couple as friends, co-workers, and mentors in a whole new journey of our life. He is so faithful!

I then found out that Naomi was an experienced doula (one who cares for women during pregnancy) and she is a WEALTH of information on the subject. She passed books my way and got me started on some classes at a local college to get some experience and prep for our trip. I started to get excited....REALLY excited. Tim was, too!

Then I had to get the application in. I found out that the school only accepts 15 students per semester and that I needed to get my papers in quick to make sure I got a spot.... It was Thursday and the kids were arriving at 4 pm. I was pretty concerned that I wouldn't be able to finish the application before the children arrived. The application was full of essays and I needed to get passport photos done and reference letters sent. But then God showed up and by 4 pm, the application was done and sent off, the reference letters finished and the passport pictures pending. Whoa! I was humbled. God did it all!

And then I got sick. Almost immediately after the application was sent, my head began to ache, my throat became sore and the children arrived. "Great." I thought. But then something occurred to me....I was sick because satan was just trying to get me frustrated and distracted from the faithfulness God had shown to me. The next 5 days were grueling...a sinus infection and a really rough weekend with the kids. Seemed like satan was pinching them and telling them how to be naughty because that weekend stunk!

BUT, the presence of God was still cutting through the poo and Tim and I still felt His peace. We recognized that as we continued to step out in faith, satan was going to be right there ready to send his fiery darts our way to discourage, distract, and debilitate us. But it is so nice to know that God has already overcome the world and the darkness of satan. (John 16:33"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.") There is nothing satan can or will do that hasn't already been filtered through God gracious hands. Nothing can stop God's plans! That is soooo encouraging.

As we wait for acceptance from the school, Tim and I are slowly beginning to wrap our brains around the fact that we may very well be without a home country for many years and that we may never again have a home to ourselves. We'll see what God does. But it certainly has made this holiday season far more special.....I've already started putting up Christmas decorations! (much to Tim's demise.....but we found out that in the Philippines, the Christmas season begins in OCTOBER!! I am feeling at home already!)

The times with family have already been more meaningful and the plans have brought a strong sense of purpose to most of our conversations. Mmmmm. Interesting and convicting. There is so much rolling around in my head that perhaps bits and pieces will fall into future posts. That's the gist of the story for now. I will keep you posted! If you wanna visit the school's site, it's http://www.midwifeschool.org/Home.htm.

Beware...when God gives you a good thought....satan is right there ready to give you two bad ones, but remember that God has already overcome satan....HE IS VICTORIOUS and has called you to be the same! (1 John 5:4-6) With Him in YOU, what can satan do!? 2 Corinthians 13:4-6 says, "For to be sure, he was crucified in weakness, yet he lives by God's power. Likewise, we are weak in him, yet by God's power we will live with him to serve you. Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in youÂunless, of course, you fail the test? And I trust that you will discover that we have not failed the test." (Gal. 2:20 is also good...read that, too!)

Take heart and live in victory....you cannot fail! Amen.

Not to interrupt, but a break in the story is needed.....

2006-11-05T14:02:00.000-08:00

I know you're asking the question, "Why is Bethany posting a picture of a wreath and interrupting the flow of her 3-part story?"

Well, something really cool happened today and I thought I'd share it...and add to the suspense of the Philippine story! :)

See this red wreath? Well, I got it two years ago from Zellers and though it was cheap, it gave me that "it's-time-for-Christmas" feel.....Tim LOVES it when I hang it up in October! NOT!!!! :) But I really love the warm welcoming feeling it brings to our white, somewhat plain front door!

Anyways, I put it up at the beginning of October, well, that's not actually true....it might've been late September.....I really love Christmas. But VERY shortly after I put it up, it disappeared....stolen by neighborhood hoodlums thinking they were cool, showing off to their hoodlum friends. Ya know the type. Poo-poo-heads!

So I sent Tim and the boys we had that weekend on a scavenger hunt to see where my wreath got dumped.....they came back with a few beat up berries and a swag of berries and leaves...clearly from my beloved wreath. I was quite upset. I was hurt that someone(s) would just take a thing of beauty and destroy it for no reason....my hope was that at the very least, they would've given the wreath to their mom or something......I gave up hope that my wreath would ever return.

So I stuck the old green ivy wreath from Easter up onto the door and figured I'd buy a new wreath closer to Christmas.

Weeks passed and Friday, Tim took me to Mandeville Garden Center to take a look at their Christmas wreaths...I had a COUPON!!!!! But they were all too expensive...even with the coupon....I thought that maybe I needed to "work on" the ivy wreath at home and see if I could make it look "Christmas-y". We got a cheap wreath-like thing from Zellers, just in case and went home.

Today, Sunday, I took our three boys to the park for some soccer and on the way home ya know what I saw?? Yes....my red, berry tattered wreath hidden in a bush 8 houses down the street from ours! It had definitely been there since September....pill bugs crawled out of it as I picked it up...I shook it a bit.....leaves and mud slid off of it and I was overjoyed....I nearly cried! The boys were pretty excited, too! "MY WREATH!" I exclaimed excitedly. And despite it's poor state, I was able to clean it off and it now looks close to new! YEAH GOD! I am soooo thankful! God takes concern in the small things, ya know!?

What struck me, though, was that in September the leaves on the bushes were full and you couldn't see through the bush. So when the hoodlums took it and threw it there, they didn't take into account that when fall came and the leaves fell, that the wreath would be exposed and found! Without the bareness of the bush, I would've never found it! I had passed that same bush numerous times before and it had been there all along. Wow.

It's symbolic of the journey we've been on....things thought to be stolen from us for good only to be found through God's timing and provision. What satan meant for bad, God turned around for His pleasure and mine, too! He gets all the glory and I have a freshly decorated front door for Christmas! Anything been stolen from you? Pray this over yourself and your fam!.........

Zechariah 10:6

"I will strengthen the house of Judah (or Tim and Bethany...'cuz He has!!) and save the house of Joseph (and Tim and Bethany, 'cuz He has!!) . I will restore them (and the things stolen from them: Psalm 14) because I have compassion on them. They will be as though I had not rejected them, for I am the LORD their God and I will answer them (and He has, time and time again...He is sooo faithful!)."

Be blessed and part 3 is coming soon!

"More of the story" (Part 2)

2006-11-04T23:13:00.000-08:00

Last post I shared the first part of the events leading up to our plans to move to the Philippines in September, 2007.......

So God hit me on the head and within a few days, He answered the prayer I'd had for four years. You see, after I stopped feeling sorry for myself about the baby issues, God placed within me a love and deep passion for pregnant ladies, and not just them, but moms in general....not an obsession, just a strange realization of their fears, their hopes of raising their children well and the joy in their patiently awaiting the birth. It struck me just how much God trusted them with the precious little life and how miraculous life was....then I went to Body Worlds at Science World and it hit me even more....I felt immense compassion (and I REALLY didn't have it before) for the mothers whose children are in our group home....how most of them endured horrible pregnancies with little support. How much different could the lives of our children be had their mothers had positive and supportive birthing experiences that taught them how to parent and successfully care for their little one in the most formative years of their lives!? I was humbled.

Then I met Naomi. An amazing lady who LOVES birth....not babies....BIRTH....babies coming out!! That's her passion. I found out through my mother-in-law that Naomi was looking into a missions-based midwifery school in the Philippines and showed me the website. I took a look at it at home and read every word....I cried. I was a mess and felt an incredible peace from the Holy Spirit that I was to look into this school.....and into Naomi.

I then found out that Naomi's husband, Chad, was an accomplished drummer and professional musician....AND he was playing drums on Tim's worship team that Sunday! Mmmm, I thought...I wonder what God is doing....

So Sunday rolled along and I had laid awake most of Friday and Saturday night thinking about the Philippines, praying that God would give me confirmations from others that this was His desire for me and I began to feel a deep-rooted sense of joy and excitement. At church I was distracted by our kids making a fuss and still all I could think about was "How is God gonna put this together?". I saw Naomi and just mentioned the Philippine dream and we both started to cry. There was an instant connection and we agreed that at some point we should talk about it further. Then church started and something in me just burst....tears began to fall harder and by the end of the service, I had TOTAL unexplained (other than God) peace that He was going before me to set things up. I HAD to tell someone....or pray about it with someone 'cuz at that point, I was feeling overwhelmed with the scope of it all. So I ran to Heidi, my dear nursing friend who has shared the sugar and lemons of life with me...she's also an amazing visionary woman of God.

So I shared with her all that was going on in my head....that I knew that God was calling us to go to the Philippines for two years so that I could serve as a missionary while getting a midwifery degree and training to open safe free birthing centers in the third world. We cried. She felt the same peace I had and prayed over the plans. We talked about how Impact Nations (the ministry Tim and I went to the Dominican with) could have a part in sending us, how God could open doors in India through Impact Nations to build birthing centers, and how God had finally answered my prayers with the very perfect timing. HIS timing.

Next, I had to talk to Tim....you're probably wondering, "Why didn't she talk to Tim about it sooner???" Well, this was Sunday and I had only been introduced to the school that Friday! And I was scared. I was (almost) certain that he'd say no or that I needed to just learn to be content where we were at.....so I booked a time for Monday to look over the budget with him and talk about "some things".......he was gracious enough to agree to go for coffee.....

So I we looked over the bills, the budget and our current marital status.....and then I shared "the plan"....."Tim....what if I went back to school....but in the Philippines....to a fully-accredited midwifery school.....to get a midwifery degree that would allow us to open safe birthing centers and orphanages all over the world?.....and you could work with Impact Nations and maybe teach music lessons to area children......we wouldn't be paid anything, but we could do some fundraising and save as much as we can in the next year.....??? *GULP* *SHEEPISH GRIN**

And you know what he said? Well, you'll have to wait until next post because this one's getting long....and there is so much more to the story....so if you want to read more, stay tuned! And remember that FEAR is just False Evidence Appearing Real..(my mommy told me that!)....may you take those leaps of faith this week without fear....Be blessed!

PS. The picture is one that Tim took a long, long time ago and didn't like it. I like it....I think it says a lot.

The story, thus far.....(Part 1)

2006-11-02T21:44:00.000-08:00

Last post I shared that Tim and I will be moving to the Philippines in September, 2007! The story is long and full of little details, but let me tell you the important parts, that is, if you want to read it! Otherwise, leave this blog NOW!

Okay, so here's the deal.....I've been praying for two years that God would direct our path outta the Vancouver area (pictured in all its fall glory here)....not because I don't like it, but because I have felt this strong desire to get out and have an adventure with Tim...without the distraction of family hoohah and without the stress of fitting into everyone else's mold...I've had this "ants-in-my-pants" thing for a while.... Since I was eight. Truth! I have wanted to move overseas and work, preach, hang in orphanages, gosh...do SOMETHING since I was eight. My parents always laughed at me because all I wanted to do was work in an orphanage, live in a shack with a sharpei dog and play saxophone or something like that.

Well, after marrying Tim, I put some of those dreams to rest and found that one of my dreams was exactly like his! It basically came down to serving the poor in third world countries in any capacity God saw fitting. To be truthful, that's really why we got married! We just really felt God's call on us as a couple and as singles! We felt that our very first date! Anyway, working in our group home has been great and God has blessed us with it, but Tim is far more content here than I am and yet, we both still felt that tugging in our guts to other nations....working with the poor and with children.

So after getting home from the Dominican in January of this year, I felt that nudge harder than ever before and I REALLY wanted to get outta here. I was getting tired of our job and felt like I was in a rut. The more I prayed, the more I "felt" God telling me to WAIT! I hated that. But it was true...I needed to learn to wait. Tim wanted me to just be content with our job and God wanted me to wait. I wasn't willing to do either. So I began to look into extra schooling or missionary training. I checked some schools in the states (where I am originally from) and some schools in the UK. Tim kinda kept to himself and I faked like I was content. But I wasn't....I was fighting God....and losing.

Tim and I wanted to have kids and that wasn't working either and his argument for not leaving our job was partially because we could leave it once we got pregnant and in the meantime, work a secure job and save for the future. It's now been four years of trying for a baby. Everyone around me seems to be having babies and somehow God has warned me of those who are pregnant even before they announce their pregnancies! For the longest time, I was baffled and somewhat upset about the whole thing.

And then God miraculously hit me on the head with conviction followed by His grace and something in me changed. Depression left, discontentment left, insecurities left, fear left, even the desire for our own children left and all that was left was me and God, face to face and I saw Him. I mean, really SAW HIM!! I saw Him for who He truly is and for what He's done....and then I recognized His work in me...the process, the removing of my sin, the journey He's taken me on and all of a sudden I felt grateful. Content. Joyful. And my only prayer became, "Lord, I'll do whatever you want me to do...I just don't want to squander this time that you've given Tim and I without our own children. But if you want me to wait, then I will wait and I will choose to have Your joy in waiting."

I was a mess. I had surrendered every dream of children, every hope of change, and every expectation I'd placed on myself and on Tim. Through the grace of God, I let go of bitter feelings, self-hatred, and pride and He replaced it with Himself. I literally felt undone...out of control.....and yet, so at peace. I began to take joy in the things He was saying to me...the inside scoop of others' pregnancies and the joy that they were feeling!

A few days passed and you know what happened?? Well, you'll have to wait a day or two....read the next post to find out! Be blessed and surrender all you have this week....you're in for a real treat when you do!!

He is faithful, I am humbled.......

2006-10-29T19:11:00.000-08:00

Come September, 2007, by the grace and provision of God......
WE'RE MOVING TO THE PHILIPPINES!!!!!
(The city of Davao to be exact)
Stay tuned for the whole story(it'll be a long one!), but please pray for us! Be blessed...!!

Changing of Seasons.....another pic by Tim!

2006-10-26T18:56:00.000-07:00

Sorry it's been a while since my last post! I got a nasty cold that knocked me out a bit and I am just now coming around again. I look forward to your comments!

It's amazing to me how fast things can change....not necessarily in regards to the weather or the leaves changing colors, but in the path our lives take....an unplanned pregnancy, losing a job, a death in the family, a blessing out of the blue....

As some of you know, Tim and I had been praying for God's direction and guidance in our lives and the more we prayed for His best, the more icky stuff came....we'd get sick or someone in the family called with bad news or Tim and I just seemed to communicate poorly. Ya ever have those days? Or years? :) Sometimes those periods seem to last forever and we wonder if God is still working on us...if Jesus is still interceding on our behalf.

As autumn came this year, I was filled with a sense of excitement, an anticipation that SOMETHING was going to change...change was inevitable...even if it was just the weather. But God was preparing my spirit for a change of heart....stretching me more in ways I thought I'd never survive. And it was in this stretching that He revealed His direction and His plans for me...and Tim, too! I won't share all those plans now, as I will have to leave that for another blog post, but I will say that when troubles and icky life junk happen....God is always just around the corner with the open door of peace and rest. It doesn't always appear when WE think it should, but His purposes for us are always for good and His times of testing are always necessary.

Hebrews 3:7-19 is a fabulous passage to read when going through trials......

"So, as the Holy Spirit says:
"Today, if you hear his voice,
do not harden your hearts
as you did in the rebellion,
during the time of testing in the desert,
where your fathers tested and tried me
and for forty years saw what I did.
That is why I was angry with that generation,
and I said, 'Their hearts are always going astray,
and they have not known my ways.'
So I declared on oath in my anger,
'They shall never enter my rest.' "

See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness. We have come to share in Christ if we hold firmly till the end the confidence we had at first. As has just been said:
"Today, if you hear his voice,
do not harden your hearts
as you did in the rebellion."
Who were they who heard and rebelled? Were they not all those Moses led out of Egypt? And with whom was he angry for forty years? Was it not with those who sinned, whose bodies fell in the desert? And to whom did God swear that they would never enter his rest if not to those who disobeyed? So we see that they were not able to enter, because of their unbelief."

When trials come...hang on TIGHT to your beliefs, your faith in God's precious plans for you stated in Jeremiah 29:11 or read James 1:2-6 and see that trials build endurance and perseverance for a life lived in Jesus' Name. That's a FULL LIFE! When the Creator God is running your life, you know that nothing is wasted. Going through trials right now? Know that God sees and is just around the corner with direction, rest, clarity and joy. Stay tuned and be blessed!

The artichoke flower.....

2006-10-20T19:23:00.000-07:00

Last post I shared with you a picture Tim had taken of an artichoke just about to bloom...well, Tim took another and this is the beautiful flower of that pokey, onion-layered artichoke. Amazing, eh?

With all those layers to open and pull apart, who knew that all that work would give way to this awesome, intricate flower? Think about THAT when you eat another artichoke heart! Interesting how they call them "hearts"! Mmmmm.

Ahhh, God's beauty revealed. Uncle Bob shared a good comment last post....I'd encourage you to take a look at it (and I think I got it, Uncle Bob!).....sometimes the Holy Spirit gives us the energy, courage and joy to do the things we "don't" want to do by giving us the DESIRE to do them and by the power of the Holy Spirit...we do them! And then there are things we really don't want to do because our sinful nature tells us we don't and we end up not doing what we should.....it IS like a toilet seat (thank you, Uncle Bob!)...up, down....up, down....such an inner struggle. There is no one righteous according to Romans 3:10! Even our most "righteous", good acts cannot give us the identity of a "righteous one".....we are inevitably evil......APART FROM GOD! That's where we are redeemed.

It's not that God doesn't care or require us to be holy as He is holy.....it's that when we accept Jesus as the only way to salvation and admit we suck, God sees us covered in Jesus and calls us righteous...just like He called Abraham in Genesis 15:6, which says, "Abram believed the LORD, and He credited it to him as righteousness." When we believe what God says, He covers us with His Son's righteousness and we are covered....redeemed. So when we do what we don't wanna do and we don't do what we wanna do, there is mercy, grace, forgiveness....we fall down in sin and when we repent, God picks us up in righteousness. Wow.....what an incredible gift. What makes a Christian different from the world? We KNOW our sins are forgiven, our debt has been paid and we can live without guilt, without fear.....we can be "right" with God through repentence.....but He does require something from us....a heart transplant....a desire to no longer sin....to love Him more than the world. He saves, but He is a holy God and will not tolerate sin.

Take a look at John 8:1-11. Jesus meets an adulterous woman about to be stoned and gives her grace. Mercy. He SAVES her from certain death as a punishment of her sins. He does not condemn her, BUT He gives her a command. He says, ""Go now and leave your life of sin."(vs. 11). That's what He calls us to do.

I am so glad we are under grace and so often I struggle with leaving my sin behind, but since I've known Jesus, sin is no longer my life, He is my life. And my heart desires to sin no more...... The blossom beneath the prickly artichoke petals.
Be blessed and keep those comments coming!

"Upon reflection I........"

2006-10-17T12:11:00.000-07:00

am discovering how God is using this blog to hit me over the head! I started reading past blogs after saving them to my hard drive (an idea mom gave me for posterity purposes) and was hit with the fact that the very things I write about and think that somehow I have dealt with, still tempt me and cause me to stumble! Growing pains.....

I guess I should explain the picture...Tim and I went to a pumpkin patch that not only grew pumpkins, but artichokes, too! Ya ever see an artichoke flower! They're purple!!! No kidding...this one is almost ready to burst forth with a beautiful flower, but notice the many layers? These veggies open VERY slowly, layer by layer and only at the very end of the blooming does the flower appear. Pretty amazing veggie! I often feel like God is opening me up layer by layer....and the more He opens me up, the closer I get to bearing fruit...or flower. The more I allow Him to pry open my petals, the prettier the Lord seems to become in me...on the inside...that's where the beauty lies. But so often I settle with the not-so-pretty-closed-tight outside because of fear or intimidation. But God still lovingly pries me open....to reveal more of Himself....His beauty within me. Whoa.

I think He is using this blogging thing to do that. Just today I was struggling with wondering how God was going to provide something very BIG and specific and then I read about Joseph from a previous blog and was humbled. Oh, I have come full circle! Again needing to trust God in the very same way I struggled with way back in March of this year....you'd think I'd GET it. But that is the very nature of life...we repeat things we don't wanna do over and over again, but God's grace is soooo sufficient and He gives us gentle reminders of how far we've come and yet, how much we need Him to take us further. Is God using a re-run episode of your life to help you bloom? He is me! Be blessed. The story of my life... Romans 7: 14-25:

14"We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do, this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

21So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22For in my inner being I delight in God's law; 23but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. 24What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? 25Thanks be to God, through Jesus Christ our Lord!
So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin."

As promised....the deflating pumpkin.....

2006-10-14T20:38:00.000-07:00

A couple of posts ago, I mentioned that when Tim and I went to the pumpkin patch with the kids, we found the "deflated" pumpkins more interesting than the plump, choice pumpkins!

And here they are....just a few that caught our eyes...Tim really enjoyed taking pics of them. When the slugs come and eat a hole through the bottom of the pumpkin, they start feeding on the innards of the squash and then the veggie deflates....it gets soft and collapses.

It's kinda like sin in our lives.....it eats small holes in our soul, appearing docile and hardly threatening. But if we don't get rid of the parasite, it starts feeding off of us, it begins to devour our souls leaving it empty and without foundation. This leads to a soul crippling.... and collapsing. And then, we rot. The sin takes us. BUT, when the pumpkin farmer finds the small slug gnawing away at the skin of the pumpkin, he picks up that slimy slug and squashes the HELL out of it (I used hell for a reason). God's doing that in us when we yield to His care....He SQUASHES hell in us and continues to provide for us what we need to grow.

This happens to me a lot. Sin's slow intrusion makes it comfortable for a while...ya hardly notice it's there, but when it threatens our innards and tries to steal our soul, we gotta call on the Master Farmer and yield to His loving pesticide....the work of the Holy Spirit. Got slugs? Call the Farmer. Be blessed and keep those comments coming!

I'M AN AUNT AGAIN!!!!

2006-10-12T20:32:00.000-07:00

Once again, a new baby has been born into the family! Baby Micah was born to Ben and Holly (Tim's brother and sister-in-law) yesterday! This 10-pounder is one manly cutie! Both parents are doing great and Micah is a gift and a treasure. We are blessed to be Aunt B and Uncle Fuzz for the fourth time! Crazy! Will the excitement NEVER end?? What a joy to see a family grow!

This new life is just another way God speaks to us.... telling us to keep going....to continue growing....The poet, Carl Sandburg once said that "A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on." It's true. This big guy (or little baby, depending on whether you're holding him or just looking from afar!) is just another testimony to the faithfulness of God....His delight in creating, His joy in new life. *Sigh* Tear*
What a great God He is.

And yet, what a responsibility! A little life ready to be shaped and a tapestry woven. We pray that Micah will be surrounded with the presence of God wherever He goes....that his little heart will overflow with the joy of intimately knowing His maker....that his love for Jesus would be reflected in all he does throughout his life....that his parents would have wisdom in parenting and that Micah would always bring them great joy, in Jesus' Name. Amen.
Be blessed and thanks for sharing the joy!

Thanksgiving already???

2006-10-10T18:23:00.000-07:00

Ya know, Canadians are strange..."Thanksgiving in October? You can't have it BEFORE Halloween!" That's what I THOUGHT before I heard the real explanation of why this "American Holiday" is celebrated in this sometimes "anti-American" country I live in.....the simple explanation is that Canada USED to be a far more "Christian" country and desired to give thanks to God for the bountiful harvest....the trouble was, the harvest was collected from late August to early November.... "why?", you ask....because our winter comes sooner than yours! That's why.

What's even better is that we actually have time to digest the Thanksgiving meal BEFORE the Christmas meal whereas in the US, Christmas and Thanksgiving mean severe weight gain and neverending leftovers. Don't get me wrong, I love my American Thanksgiving memories....at least in the US you can get decent decorations! Anyways, yesterday was the Canadian day of thanks and I thanked the Lord for a successful Thanksgiving party of 16 people. We had a gas and all the food was hot and ready at the same time! That's a first! Our house was crowded, but joyful and everyone got to take home some leftovers! A great end to a very busy week and a great beginning to our favorite time of year....FALL!

Yes, Tim and I LOVE FALL! The kids are back at school (YEAH), the weather cools down, everything is picturesque, and drinking a maple latte while walking around Stanley Park is a blessing few can compare to. It is also the time when the craziness of the coming holidays haven't set in yet.

This picture was taken when we took our girls to the pumpkin patch out in Delta, BC. We were more interested in the smashed pumpkins than the really nice round ones. Ya know, pumpkins deflate!? Take a look at Tim's blog and you'll know what I mean! They had some great ones! I'll post more later as I think there are some God-given lessons to deflated pumpkins....stay-tuned! But for now, Happy Canadian Thanksgiving and do take some time to enjoy this incredible gift of Autumn. Take a walk. Be blessed.

"Honey, have you seen my Depends?"

2006-10-07T09:18:00.000-07:00

Growing old....Mmmm....Tim took this picture a while back and I kept coming back to it....I really like it and I'm not sure exactly why. The lady in the picture is probably not the wife of the man, but maybe she is....It got me thinking, though.

Why is it that our culture preaches to us that growing old with one person isn't desirable, beautiful, or exciting?

Isn't that what they say when they make claims that we "need" or "deserve" happiness and therefore should do whatever we need to do to achieve it? Isn't that what they mean when they advertise cheap young seductive sex in commercials and television shows? "If she doesn't make you happy...there are plenty of other fish in the sea", they say. And where do those people who ascribe to this lifestyle end up? Alone and empty...dying in old folks homes without anyone coming to see them. Maybe it's because that no matter how hard we try to find happiness, we still have to live with ourselves and seeing ourselves as we really are makes us unhappy. Our sinful nature is pretty filthy and sitting in our own filth is awful...ask any old person now waiting for their underpants to get changed!

It isn't the responsibility of our spouse, our ex-wife/husband, or our "new" girl/boyfriend to make us happy...our troubles still follow us wherever we go....But the One who can make us happy is the One who can show us His way to holiness and the way He sees us.

I think part of the reason Tim and I are enjoying married life so much is because we have fought (and I mean FOUGHT) to find out what God thinks of us....both individually and as a unit. We have FOUGHT to be happy in harsh circumstances like the many times I've ticked him off, annoyed the b'geebers out of him, or hurt him deeply.... and vice versa. The other reason is that we have developed a STRONG fear of God. No really. Not a King Kong-running-for-your-life fear, but a fear that says, "God cares more about my obedience and my holiness than my happiness". He is Holy, I am not....that's a BIG enough reason to fear Him....to obey Him....to stick like glue to my spouse...the one God picked for me to sharpen me "as iron sharpens iron".

There are times when the days are rough, the tension is thick and my sin is great....when those times come, it takes an act of God and a fight for obedience to stay here. If you are thinking on leaving your spouse or removing yourself from a certain relationship, just remember that God cares more about your holiness than your happiness....because He gives GREAT JOY when repentance and obedience become your yoke. Matthew 11:28-30 says, "Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and my burden is light."

And like me, it could be that the problem isn't the other person....it's you and your sin. If you leave, you might just walk out of His wave of grace....go to Him who takes your sins, your burdens and replaces it with obedience and holiness.... Read Romans 1-2....there is no excuse not to do the right thing....powerful, ya know? I can't wait to grow old with Tim....and I pray he won't have to help me with my "Depends"! Be blessed.

Ahhhh, sleep.......zzzzzzzzz

2006-10-02T09:47:00.000-07:00

Thank you, "moms", for the comments on last post! I was truly blessed! I always learn so much more when you comment!

Here's another shot Tim took from our walk with Uncle Bob and Auntie Sylvia this past week....this seal was inches away from us! He didn't seem alarmed by our presence at all! He was totally content to bask in the sun.....moved very little....his body a giant slug. Makes me sleepy just looking at him!

As I have been sharing the last few weeks, I am learning to set up boundaries.....chew only what I can swallow....deal only with what God has placed on my plate....and I am finding my plate is getting smaller. Good! More rest! However, I get stuck wrestling: "But what about all the things I want AND must DO for God?"...... and He answers, "Don't you think I am BIG enough to handle it ALL without you?" DUH...no, DOUBLE DUH! And yet, just yesterday I found myself feeling guilty and overwhelmed that I wasn't DOING enough.....overwhelmed with what I "needed" to do for God....to pick up everyone's burdens, give away all my possessions, empty my bank account to the nearest charity, house every homeless, abused child in the country....what else could I do? I just wanted to be that seal lazily moping on the rock at that point! And then I felt a tug from the Lord....

"Do you know Me?....Do you REALLY know Me? I don't need you to DO....but I need you to BE....when you BE all that I've created you to BE, then what I'VE called you to DO will be clear and not fueled by guilt or responsibility 'cuz I've told you that your life is to be a labor of love and guilt does not breed love. Spending these "smaller plate" days with Me is sowing love into you that will fuel all you DO through Me, for Me...because you love Me."

Ya know, God is so faithful to speak....and when He speaks, I "try" to hear, I "try" to listen.....He knows my desire is to comfort, help, fill myself with busy "goodness", but He hasn't asked me to do that. He's asked me....no, INVITED me to know Him and in knowing Him, DO what He asks of me....in His timing.

Do you ever feel pressured to DO more...to bite off more than you can chew because it's the noble thing to DO?

Ya know, Jesus said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."(Matthew 28:16-20) But He didn't give us a time limit....or a specific number...or even a specific region to start with.....we spend our whole lives with this commission and yet, He gives no formula or "program" as to how to get this done.....so what do we do? We get to know Him....develop a DEEP relationship with Him...so He flows out of us without programs and leaflets....making disciples out of showing Jesus....through knowing Jesus....am I making any sense...? Throw out the pressures from others and look to the relationship with the One who moves you.....He never "pushes" or "shoves"....He mooooooves (say that out loud...it's goooood that way!).....He inspires and RELEASES your life as a labor of love. Ya think?

Ever do this?

2006-09-29T08:30:00.000-07:00

Ever bite off more than you can chew? This gull certainly did! Tim took these pictures the other day while on a walk with Uncle Bob and Aunt Sylvia. We had a good laugh as we watched this determined gull try to swallow the starfish whole! No kidding! Instead of breaking it down into bits (as if it could!), this gull kept trying to get all five legs into his mouth and down his throat.

It didn't work. He even got creative and tried bashing the fish on rocks to see if it would miraculously burst open with full starfish flavor, but it really just bounced! Poor, poor gull. He obviously had never been taught that starfish have a hard candy shell.

Have you ever done that?....Just taken a big bite outta something that just won't be broken, controlled or consumed? And like this gull, you spend countless hours trying to find a way to gain power or control over it or the situation you created, but really you're just wasting time? This gull could've left this starfish or thrown it back to the sea and started on something more appetizing, like a mussel or oyster! Some things aren't meant to be fought with. It's not our battle and we can move on...thank the Lord!!!

However, there are times when God calls us to growth through finding creative ways to deal with starfish in our beaks. No doubt this gull tried and tried...his perseverance astounds me! And maybe that's why he was fighting the starfish....purely for a test in perseverance...not that gulls need character development, but you get my drift....or at least I hope you do!

In other words, only when God guides, He provides (as my dad always says!), otherwise, God will provide a way out....and escape....like throwing the starfish BACK into the water!

1 Corinthians 10:12-13
"So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall (or bite off more than you can chew!!!) No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."

A leap of faith....

2006-09-26T19:03:00.000-07:00

I like little frogs....when we were on vacation last month, we hiked to a pond where thousands of little frogs scattered into the water as we came upon their territory. I caught a few.....this one is just about to make a getaway! Smart frog! To give you an idea as to how small this bugger was, that's my first finger he's sitting on!

There are tons of other vacation photos I could share, but it's the obscure ones that remind me of God's provision over our break from monotony.

Ever feel like God is asking you to take a leap of faith? Strangely enough, I am more comfortable with leaping by faith than my hubby, but sometimes I'm just needing adventure or change and it may not be exactly God's best. The irony is that I'm never bored....there's so much to do, but I seem to get antsy that what I am currently doing isn't valuable enough or not making a good enough impact on those around me....work, work, work. But there's God again....there to calm me and teaching me to recognize that everyday is a day that He has ordained...every one of my steps today is calculated and filtered through the loving fingers of God....your day, too! That's often hard to remember when painful things arise and routine sets in, but the truth remains. Psalm 139:1-3 shares that God even knows when we sit down or pick our toenails....He sees it all! See...

"O LORD, You have searched me and known me. You know when I sit down and when I rise up; You understand my thought from afar. You scrutinize my path and my lying down, And are intimately acquainted with all my ways."

He's intimately acquainted! INTIMATELY.....ooooh....that's kinda scary.....makes me think of some of the things I'd rather not have Him see....He even understands my thoughts...and while I hate that, it is a blessing and a gift that there are times that I cannot utter a prayer because my heart is heavy, but God knows and understands the very thoughts and attitudes of my heart....He doesn't always need me to spell them out.....isn't God good? But He delights when I talk to Him and make it known that I am willing to let Him into all the areas of my heart....even though He knows them anyway...He just likes the invitation. And He wants to be invited into the black areas, too....He's good at sweeping out the gunk. AND He knows my innermost desire for adventure and a leap of faith. I wait on Him and His direction. Peace. "Even before there is a word on my tongue, Behold, O LORD, You know it all." Psalm 139:4

"GET ME OUTTA HERE!!"

2006-09-20T08:26:00.000-07:00

Can't ya just see this little girl saying that? I took this picture when my friend, Alissa, and I went to Granville Island a couple weeks ago. We were laughing hysterically at the many children who were fascinated by the "pretty birdies", but of course when they got too close....."AHHHGH, BAD BIRDIE!! MOMMY!!!" Pretty funny.....the expression on the little-one's face is definitely how I was feeling when I wrote the last two posts.

But then something happened....a phone call from my mom helped....the encouragement from others was awesome....I had a heavy argument with Tim that accomplished a lot... but what did it was that I gave up! Yeah....I just gave up! Gave up trying to speak up, gave up trying to stay quiet, gave up trying to "do the right thing" and just gave up all the expectations I'd laid upon myself to "fix" or help the people or situations presently pestering Tim and I...AND I dug up the garden!

As I mentioned before, I was planning on digging up my three year-old garden this fall to reestablish the sad soil and change things around a bit. That was my task yesterday....6 hours later, the garden was just dirt and a few mature (too big to move) plants.....after 3 spider bites, extremely dirty clothes, two torn gloves, dirt-filled fingernails, 2 types of fertilizer, an aching bum, 5 or 6 scratches down the arms, bruises on the legs, shaking hands and a sweaty forehead, I was ready to plant BULBS and SEEDS! The part I had worked 6 hours for! And 80 bulbs later, I was done....ready to clean up. This 6-hour distraction from the monotony of stinky life circumstances fueled me with a sense of true reality.... and as I fought all kinds of bugs, spiders, bees, and stubborn roots, Ephesians 6:11-13 came to mind....again:

"Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand."

Now how many times have I read that verse!? I have it memorized! But how often have I really taken it to comfort me and restore my peace of heart and mind!? It is supposed to be an encouragement from our Lord and I was encouraged! It brought some needed clarity, too....

The struggles Tim and I are going through have very LITTLE to do with the actual persons involved and everything to do with the enemy....satan....the bad one. Yeah, the people involved may be giving place to the devil, but really, I don't need to concern myself with them....just the underlying spirits that seek to destroy my relationships and steal away my peace. I could stop gardening just because the spiders bite, the bees sting, and roots are just too hard to dig up.....or I could realize that in order to enjoy the beauty of God's creation and take (a healthy) pride in a job well-done when in spring the bulbs give birth to beautiful flowers! I have to endure the pain of "the curse" (see Genesis....a 'man' has to work the soil to yield a harvest) in order to understand and experience the blessings.

Unfortunately, part of the curse is that bees NEED stingers now and spiders HAVE to bite to protect themselves....likewise....people protect themselves and their interests by being INFLUENCED and sometimes POSSESSED by the devil and essentially hurting others around them in the process.....just like my ouwie spider bites. That's where I persevere....fostering blessing in the relationships that bug me the most. But that's not to say that those people cannot help their attitudes, actions and situations, but they answer to God and have to give an account of their behavior, but they do not answer to me! This SHOULD give me joy! I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THEM! BUT!! I am responsible for my attitude and giving into depression and intimidation on account of them just lets satan have more control in their lives and mine, too. I am accountable to God and He calls me to bless them 'cuz my struggle is not against them, but FOR them....I am fighting in the spirit for their reconciliation and righteousness. Still....I struggle to do even that....but I am a work in progress. Be blessed!

Dying to Self.......again....

2006-09-17T08:35:00.000-07:00

You'd think I'd get the hang of it by now!!

Another picture taken on our vacation to the great north of British Columbia! Some of the headstones were dated all the way back to the gold rush in the 1800s! But this isn't a history dissertation.....this image is very appropriate to the battle in my head.....long sigh....

Last post I was sharing some of the struggles I've been having with learning to live out Ephesians....I was so blessed by the comments a few of you made and I even received some phone calls on encouragement.....nice to know people are reading! I better be careful though, eh??

But I was sent a very intense e-mail by a friend that challenged me on how I can speak the truth in love.....it was really good...I've often told her she should be a preacher! But something hit me yesterday...I got a phone call from a parent of a couple of our kids and she has spent most of her life struggling. Whether it be drugs, alcohol, or emotional abuse, she's seen it all. She shared with me her story and her fears for the future.....having her kids in our care, Tim and I have seen the effects of her lifestyle negatively affect her young kids. It's grieved us deeply. Although I had never spent any lengthy time talking with her, she opened her heart and I was humbled. She cried out for help and I listened. At the end, I shared with her some practical solutions or "helps" for her current dilemmas and realized that many of my suggestions were very difficult for her to follow through with. No doubt she felt stuck.

But what hit me the most was her willingness to be completely REAL, raw.....and her DESIRE to change her current lifestyle and its effects on her kids. She was so ready and desperate for something to take control of her, to ease her fears, and comfort her in her pain that when I asked her if she felt like she had hope for her kids and her future, she said a sobbing "no". But then, instead of staying in that place of hopelessness and despair, she said, "but I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get that...." That's when I realized that the only person that could even remotely bring her hope was Jesus. I asked her if I could pray for her and if she had ever surrendered to the God that created her, loved her, knew her inside and out, and gave Himself for her.....she said that early in life, she had been to church, but had trouble with faith and church people...she felt like she just couldn't be like them. I could relate. She shared about the many "christians" who had hurt her all in the name of God and how they used "religion" as an answer to everything. I could relate.

I told her that sometimes the greatest hinderance to people knowing Jesus personally are the very people who say they know Him. She agreed to me praying for her aloud on the phone....I prayed for peace, for hope and for wisdom.....that Jesus would show her who He REALLY was and that she would recognize how much He loves her and desires to not just walk beside, but CARRY her through this incredible struggle in her life. I got off the phone after an hour and felt as though Jesus was taking care of it...I was done until further notice. What hit me then is how I had no problem telling her the truth about her lifestyle's negative impact on her kids and how things could get worse if she didn't take care of herself...I had no problem telling her that Jesus was really the only One that could get her through this because, clearly, so many people had let her down and I had no problem praying with her....I discovered that while I cared about her life and salvation, I didn't care if she was offended by the things I said and part of me didn't even care if she took my advice. If she was ticked at my methods or reported me to the powers that be, I didn't even care! What a blessing to be at that place. And yet, it depressed me because as I wrote in the last post, I cannot seem to do that with those who I am forced to have relationship with.

I struggle to speak my mind, share what the Word says, offer help, or just speak about the Lord with them. I feel unsafe with little confidence and though I wouldn't say fear is there, I feel an enormous amount of pressure to keep things status quo....not rock the boat..... The difference is that this parent I spoke with had a heart desiring to make wrongs right, confessed the things she struggled with and wanted to change things for the sake of others. Her heart was repentent and even if she can't make changes for a long time, she's willing and open to admit their effects on those around her. I have patience and grace for that. I struggle with being around people who refuse to acknowledge the pain they've caused and yet expect others to just accept being their doormat. The only way I FEEL I can deal with the battle in my head (which is to know what HIS good and perfect will is and the RIGHT way to deal with all this poo) is to serve....force myself to be quiet and to serve....I'm still searching....waiting for God's timing to speak the truth like mom said....putting on the armour of God and standing firm in the truth like Nishki said, and trying to practice grace and patience like Jesus said. And so I pray..."God...make me like You, because I so desire to be a blessing and not cause pain...fill me with your Spirit and give me wisdom...choke out bitterness and anger and flush out intimidation....in Jesus' Name. Amen." ---sigh----

A week later......sorry for the delay!

2006-09-14T16:50:00.000-07:00

This passed week, my best friends, Alissa, and my mom came to visit Vancouver! We had a great time and I have to confess that I didn't have any time to post a new entry. Sorry 'bout that! But things are now back to normal....or somewhat.

But I am ready to go back. Pictured is the B&B Tim and I stayed at on our vacation in Lac la Hache, BC. The picture doesn't do the garden justice and you can't see the beautiful lake Tim is looking at, but you get the idea. It was great. I need to go back there now. Time for another rest. Oh, and by the way....Thank you all for the many comments on the last post!

As I mentioned before, the first two days of our vacation prepared us for the re-entry into stressful life here at home. Right when we got home, we scooted off to Bellingham to pick up my best friend and then mom came on Sunday, Alissa left on Monday, mom left on Wednesday and now, today.....time to go back to work. What a blessing it was to have my two best friends here and now that they are gone, I cannot help but feel a sense of loss and little low...my family now far away. My dad calls that the "Monday blues".... like the feeling the day after a big drama production.... But what I am REALLY feeling is a dread to go through the next couple of months. I LOVE this time of year when the leaves fall and the weather changes...when the garden dies and I have to dig up stuff and get dirty.....but this year, there's more than just the garden to dig up.....it's a myriad of emotions, a plethora of pain, and the having to "suck it up", so to speak.

Ever feel stuck and forced to "suck up" the pain and emotions you feel? Ever feel like people or maybe a person in particular is giving you the message that it's time to "move on", don't cause waves and certainly...DO NOT ROCK THE BOAT!? Ever feel forced to enjoy the presence and company of people who hate you and have NO concern for your life and you cannot confront them? Ever dealt with people who refuse to repent for the pain they've caused? Ever feel like someone else is controlling your life...dictating your every move and it isn't God...the One who knows best and has your best interest at heart? Ever feel the ache to be real, but no one wants you REAL, they want you to "put up, shut up, and suck it up"? Am I depressing you, yet? Sorry. But that's where I'm at, that's what I FEEL, probably NOT reality, but the feelings are real. That's the struggle of having to endure the next 5 or 6 weeks. My desire is to get to a place where I don't feel like ENDURING it, but I can THRIVE in it....speak truth in love, be who I am without limitations or expectations, say no to events I desire not to attend because of associated pain, spend quality time with those who DESIRE my company and desire to know me......is there hope for that??

Well....let's see.....Zechariah 8:15b-17 says, "Do not be afraid. These are the things you are to do: Speak the truth to each other, and render true and sound judgment in your courts; do not plot evil against your neighbor, and do not love to swear falsely. I hate all this," declares the LORD."
Okay...the Lord is not speaking directly to me in this passage, but I certainly can learn from this direction. I can speak the truth in love and I won't plot evil against people around me...I won't hate those who hate me...got it, no prob. And then there's Ephesians 4:1-5; 14-16; 25-32..........

"1As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 2Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit (--what if the Spirit isn't present in the people we're talking about??) through the bond of peace. 4There is one body and one Spirit just as you were called to one hope when you were called 5one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all."

--Uh, oh....feeling a little convicted now....

"14Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. 15Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. 16From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work."

--I am CALLED to speak the truth, though, so that people may grow! That's a big responsibility!......

"25Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. 26"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27and do not give the devil a foothold. 28He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need."

--In my intense pain, I have been angry...I gotta deal with it...HELP LORD!

"29Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."

--Does that mean speaking truth in love no matter what boat it rocks and how many waves it creates? Forgiving doesn't mean "moving on", it means accepting repentant heart and extending grace? What if there isn't any repentance? Still more to come and more to learn, I guess......something for next post!

We're home! Now what!?

2006-09-06T17:40:00.000-07:00

As many of you know, Tim and I went on a 7-day journey to visit the north of British Columbia. Our final destination was the home of his brother, sister-in-law, and new baby girl, Justice.

What a beautiful country we live in! We had the opportunity to stay in a B&B on Timothy Lake the first two days of our journey....planning a vacation?? Check out Timothy Mountain B&B near Lac La Hache....the best B&B we've ever stayed in and lovely people, too! We canoed (hence the picture to your right that I took with Tim's camera from the canoe), roasted marshmallows, took walks in the garden, Tim took TONS of pictures....our own private lake.....ahhh....so great. Our hostess made sure that we had a warm fire every night along with hot tea and chocolate chip cookies. She was sooo gracious and you could tell that she and her hubby loved what they did. What was even more special is that she and her husband were fairly new Jesus followers and had their own take on the state of affairs in the world. Their heart for married couples and their desire to bless those they come into contact with really floored me. What an incredible ministry they have there in their quiet, peaceful home.

We really needed that time and I wish we could've stayed a few more days! Nothing like having someone else cook you breakfast, eh? And then there was Tim....ahhh. Peace. Some of the greatest rest we've had married in a long time. It was exactly what we needed to get through these next couple of weeks. I'll elaborate later......

God is so faithful to bring us to places where we can rest in His peace. His peace was so hard for me to find in the last couple of weeks at home, but going to that B&B rested my heart and mind to a place where I could accept His comfort, His peace, without interruption. It also gave me the drive to seek it more fervently when I got home! Oh, how I've missed His peace! And as soon as we left that B&B, satan was right there to try and take it away! But I am determined to keep it close....cherish it and seek it....when I find it, I find His presence and that's what keeps me ticking. Have you found His peace this week? Will it take going someplace quiet, special, and secluded to find it? I think it's time for another Timothy Mountain B&B visit!! I pray this for you today....Hebrews 13:20-21 "May the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing His will, and may He work in us what is pleasing to Him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen."
Peace.

Here we go!!!!

2006-08-29T14:19:00.000-07:00

Good day to you all! Pictured here is one of Tim's "posters" that he is in the process of tweaking....I like the title of it, so I thought I'd post it. You may recognize it as I have posted the picture on its own a while ago. His website has more of his photos....be sure to check it out! http://timmybomb.blogspot.com/

Anyways, Tim and I are leaving for a week of vacation bliss... FINALLY! So we won't be posting for 6 days or so. I know, I know....you are SOOOO disappointed, right?? Tee hee! Anyways...we are headed up into the north of British Columbia to take mass quantities of pictures and experience the great outdoors for our 4th year wedding anniversary!! FOUR YEARS!!!! Pretty cool! God is soooo good to us!

This picture's title is very appropriate for this week ....with our wedding anniversary and all...we're "Still Standing". It is also fitting because I have a few friends that are also celebrating their anniversaries this month, but they are "standing" on their own for their marriage....without the help of their spouse. I find that pretty amazing. Every marriage goes through intense difficulty (....and if you haven't gone through it yet, beware....YOU WILL!), but that difficulty, if dealt with in a spirit of understanding with faith, hope, love, and with Jesus, can prove to make that marriage stronger than ever.

For Tim and I, the difficulty struck months before we were married and continued for two years after we were married!!! No kidding! Yeah, we were happy we were married, but we hit some brutal circumstances and situations that sought to destroy our marriage. If it weren't for the Lord and His gifts of perseverance and sacrifice in Tim and the stubborness of myself, we wouldn't have survived. Marriage is tough work....really tough, but when the bulk of the difficulty is fought through and I mean REALLY FOUGHT through, a new marriage is birthed and peace is restored.....there is a new level of FUN and intimacy, too.....we're "Still Standing"...broken and damaged....our marriage a real "fixer-upper", but now "standing" with fresh renovations!

As for my dear friends going through poo, but standing for their spouses, standing up for the sanctity and covenant of marriage....standing for righteousness...though broken, perhaps bleeding, tearing wallpaper and peeling paint, their marriages under renovation, they are READY for beauty to be unveiled, intimacy to be renewed, a solid and forever foundation rebuilt. "Oh Lord Jesus, come and renovate!" And He IS! He is. Dear friends....STAND and STAND FIRM! The passage that comes to mind is I Corinthians 16:13-14, which says, "Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be (wo)men of courage; be strong. Do everything in love."

Other good ones are: I Corinthians 15:58, Ephesians 6, James 5:7-9, and I Peter 5:9.
STAND FIRM and be blessed! God's got your back! See ya next Wednesday!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HUBBY-MAN!!

2006-08-26T15:56:00.000-07:00

So Tim's birthday was yesterday! We actually celebrated it the whole week because that's how special he is to me! Or it could be that I couldn't wait for him to open his presents! "What did he get?", you ask.... Well, besides a new golf club, a sweater, some chocolate and beer, he received an "SLR Jar". "What's an SLR Jar?" you ask......well, it's a jar decorated with cameras and "SLRs" that contains mass quantities of moola! You see, Tim has been wanting a kick-butt camera for some time now as he is (I hate to use this terminology...) a "blossoming" photographer! Check out his photos at http://timmybomb.blogspot.com/.

Anyways, between our family and friends, we raised over $800. towards a new "professional" camera that should appear in his world by January! YEAH! Tim was pretty excited as you can see above!

Tim had been talking about a professional camera for a long time...he studied the models, read report after report, visited store after store looking for the best price for the best model. He pursued it and figured that "someday" he would be able to purchase this large investment. I was impressed by his drive and intense interest in this venture and couldn't help but get excited, too!

It's like our relationship with Jesus.....when we talk about Him, study His life, His words, read story after story about Him and what He does, visit those who know Him well, seek to find Him, look for Him at every chance, anticipate when we will behold Him and see Him face to face.....we can't help but get excited, passionate. And you know what happens when we get to that place? We get those around us excited, too! So much so, that they begin to do their OWN research and pass it on, too...just like the excitement I felt with Tim's passion.

I think I often forget the passage, Proverbs 27:17, which says "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another". What do I get passionate about? Are they things that I want to pass on to others? Do I want to pass on my negative attitudes about certain people, or my tiredness, or sometimes my doubting of the promises of God? Or do I want to pass on a passion for His presence, a positive view of His calling and purpose for my life, a "cup half-full" approach to this gift of life He has given me? How am I sharpening those around me? Perhaps what I seek most will prove what I am most passionate about! Again, I am humbled. (Read Jeremiah 29: 12-14.........)

Speaking His praises......

2006-08-24T17:56:00.000-07:00

Tim took this picture a while ago...it reminds me of just another thing I can thank and praise the Lord for! Have you had your Sabbath day, yet? I have....and I will again very soon! Did He speak to you or did you rest in His silent peace?

I had a little of both. It was hard to take the whole day, though....I think I will have to work up to it and it will take some practice. :p

I read Psalm148-150 yesterday and though the Psalms are filled with David exuberantly saying "Praise the Lord!", I was a little struck by the last 3 chapters this very long compilation of songs...some of the verses made me smile, others made me laugh, and all of them got me wanting to "Praise the Lord"! One of them that made me smile was Psalm 149:4-5, which says,
"For the LORD takes delight in his people;
he crowns the humble with salvation.

Let the saints rejoice in this honor
and sing for joy on their beds."

Sing for joy on their beds? I thought that was kinda funny. I was picturing some kids jumping on their beds singing to the Lord or something......But all three chapters are telling us when and where and why we must praise the Lord. I think a contemporary edition of these chapters could read (very simply in Bethany style).....

"Praise the Lord while you're sleeping, Praise the Lord while you eat,
Praise the Lord while you sit on the toilet, Praise the Lord while you take a shower,
Praise Him in the car as your drive yourself to work, Praise the Lord while you send your e-mails. Praise the Lord while you teach your children and when you "discuss" with your spouse. Praise the Lord while you hang with your friends and when you minister to acquaintances....
For crying out aloud!! JUST PRAISE HIM! SHEESH!"

Perhaps that's a little too simply put, but I find that I REALLY do not praise Him enough....for the little things AND the big things....for who He is. Perhaps it is because I thought that "praising Him" needed to be thought out and carefully planned...or maybe it needed to be in response to a particular answer to prayer or situation...but no! That's not what King David is saying! He is saying to Praise Him all the day long!!! Praise Him in the routine of things! What a difference that would make in my home! It's like praying without ceasing (I Thess. 5:12-23)...it should be like a breath we take..."ahhh, praise You, Lord, for Your love....." or something like that....?? I bet He likes that and comes a little closer to hear more..... :p

I gotta learn to do this more. When we focus on who HE is and praise Him throughout the day, it fixes our eyes on Him and gives us that "Sabbath day" peace admist the fury of the day....at least it did for me. Do you enjoy praising Him enough?

Quietly seeking....

2006-08-20T15:52:00.000-07:00

Timmy took this picture a while ago, but I think it speaks to where I am presently......Do you ever have those times when you feel like being alone and quiet? When the sound of kids and even your favorite CD burn your ears and kinda irritate you? Well, there's something wrong with you!

Just kidding. I've been feeling that way for a while. Craving the silence and then when (and if) I get it, I don't even know what to do with it!

I was talking with a friend recently who convicted me on the fact that Tim and I do not have a Sabbath. Sure we have "days off" from work (they're on Tuesdays and Wednesdays) and we sometimes get to go to church with the kids on Sundays...but that turns into a really busy work day. On our days off, because everyone else is working, we tend to run errands and finish the projects that we had started before the kids arrived the previous week. But a Sabbath day? I don't think we've even spoken that word for quite some time.

What is it about us nowadays that causes us to be driven to work all the time as though it is an honorable, noble or desired thing....I mean, why do "work-a-holics" get some kind of status because they can spin thousands of miles a minute working to please everyone around them?

I left the house a bit dirty this week......and Tim and I went to the beach to watch the sunset and play "Scrabble" (I beat him again.), take pictures and have dessert. It was wonderful...we had a great time....but why couldn't the whole day been like that? What was so important that we couldn't take a FULL Sabbath day to enjoy the presence of God through His creation?

He does talk about this topic often in the Bible... I found 151 times! But the passage that ministered to me the most is Hebrews 4. The whole chapter is talking about Salvation and a permanent Sabbath rest in the future for those who follow Jesus, but what is striking to me are verses 9-11, which say,

"There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; for anyone who enters God's rest also rests from his own work, just as God did from his. Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will fall by following their example of disobedience."

So NOT entering into "that rest" sets us up for disobedience....and this is true! Think about the last time you worked long and hard...think about when you finally hit the breakdown burn-out point when you became impatient with yourself or others and maybe snapped at them....could it be that you hadn't entered into HIS rest for a while? It certainly has been my reason for having to set up firm boundaries in my job, with friends, the church, and even my family. I need to enter into my Saviour's rest and for more than just an hour or two....a day. A full day. Now that doesn't mean that I will not tend to those whom God places in my care on a Sabbath... Jesus healed on the Sabbath (take a look at Matthew and Luke!)....but I will be "choosy" with how I spend my time that day....releasing the power of guilt and expectation to God so that I can be FULLY enjoying His gifts to me....His rest without guilt, without having to be "productive". Rest is not a sign of weakness or failure...it is required by God and a necessity for a heart after God's heart.

Is it time you rested?

THE ZOO!.....

2006-08-17T10:45:00.000-07:00

Last post I said I'd tell you a little bit about my visit to the Oregon Zoo....I went with my mom....just the two of us!

We saw all kinds of things not at all limited to the animals themselves....we saw parents with whiney children who were begging for things every parent should say "no" to....we saw teenagers on their first "alone" dates trying to act all cool when the elephant relieved himself in front of them! We saw kids with matching t-shirts following their camp leaders......We found that the zoo is a great place to observe people, too! And while my mom would not want me to share ALL the things we saw (as this is a public site and supposed to be safe for children), I will only tell you the appropriate aspects of our visit....animals tend to be a bit less modest in their physical affection towards each other..... if you get my drift......

I don't know what it was about the presence of my mom and I, but just about every animal we visited ended up relieving itself right in front of us (my mom prefers me not to write "pee" or "poo") ....almost like it had been waiting for us to come by...it was nuts! And ya know....everybody does it! There's no "heirarchy" among the animals in the zoo....the lions and elephants don't have a prettier toilet or bigger restroom than the baboons....it's all the same....they go where and when they feel like it......they have no embarrassment or fear of being watched while going....we saw a 'sun bear' puke up white stuff that looked like salt water taffy and then lick it up over and over again....and I can't even begin to tell you what we saw the otter do! The elephants, too! The seals? Yeah, them, too! Charles Darwin was ALL WET! What was he smoking when he thought up the "theory of evolution"??

All the while, my mom and I would laugh at the humor of God displayed in such nutsy animals and would make up conversations the animals were having with eachother with their quirky facial expressions as they lumbered around. It was great. Can you imagine Adam's job of having to name all those? Like "wombat"...how do you come up with a name like that? Or "gazelle"? Giraffe? Hippopotamus? Crazy!

And ya know what the best part of it all is? God created those animals for us! For us to enjoy them! To RULE over them! (See Genesis 1 :25-29) And that we did! Have you ever taken the time to really study and enjoy one of God's creations? Ever sit and watch a bird gather scraps for her nest or a bumblebee gather pollen from flower to flower? Ever go to the zoo and watch the elephants....I mean REALLY watch them? Take some time to sit in awe of God's creation and I guarantee it will make you look differently at God's most precious creation! YOU! We are His greatest treasure and yet, look at all the other pieces of creation He could choose from!

Be blessed, friends, and keep those comments coming!

....my visit to the homeland.....

2006-08-13T20:18:00.000-07:00

This week I got to go down south to Gresham, Oregon to visit my best friend and my family....while I was away, Tim went hiking up a giant mountain with two friends to a peaceful and secluded lake (seen here) in the valley of the mountain range! As many of you know, Tim is not your athlete and he rarely does anything that requires him to move his limbs....BUT, one thing you should know about Tim is that he CAN do ANYTHING when he DECIDES he's going to! Seriously! He climbs giant mountains straight up for 7 hours hauling a giant backpack with supplies! He's my hero......but enough about him, let's talk about ME!

So I went to my mom and dad's place and got to spend some awesome quality time with my long-time friend, Alissa. She rocks. You know those people you spend time with that make you feel like you've just hung out with Jesus? Well, that's my mom and my friend, Alissa. There's a peace and a joy about them that wherever we are, we can talk with or about Jesus....laughing with Heaven, enjoying the freedom to be who we are without having to impress anyone...without having to watch our words as to not offend....we feel filled with the Spirit of God to be who He's created us to be. I love that.

I can't help but be blessed by these two very precious relationships God has given to me. They remind me of His faithfulness and kindness to me whenever I am with them. They are truly an example of the loving friendship described in 1 John 4:10-12, which says, "This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us."

When I hang with my mom and Alissa, God's love is made complete. I love that. I am so grateful to be taught and encouraged by such good friends. They're my "Jesus Friends"...what a blessing! Do you surround yourself with these kinds of friends?

Thanks for all the comments and sorry for the delay on posts....I'll get into a routine again soon! I gotta share what happened when my mom and I went to the ZOO together......great stuff....stay tuned!

Pill bugs....what's the point?

2006-08-07T15:30:00.000-07:00

So I told you last post that I would look at "pill bugs"....or "wood bugs" as our 7 year-old refers to them. You say, "What's so special about those garden creepers, Bethany?"

Well, let me tell ya....they are another example of the "logical side" (see last post) of God. No, really! They are! Did you know that they are not insects, but isopods? (related to the ant) And did you know that throughout their lives, they shed their outer exoskeleton 4 to 5 times?
And did you know (here's the kicker...) that they eat decaying, rotten, wilting plants and animals?? WAY TOO COOL!

Look at your garden or if you don't have a garden, go to the park! These little creepers are everywhere! And they are making this world a prettier, less smelly place! They eat the decaying, ooky, slimy plants that if left too long make the whole plant diseased and rotted! They eat the dead crow on your sidewalk and the little bitty earwig eggs! THESE GUYS ROCK! And what's even more awesome is that when these guys eat this disgusting diet of rot, they poop it out into your soil making it more fertile! YEAH FOR PILL BUGS!

On a more spiritual note...they are armoured vehicles, too! Their hard "candy" shell protects them from pedators as they roll into balls like a tiny armadillo! Reminds me of the armour of God....ya know...the breastplate of righteousness, the helmet of salvation....without OUR armour, we are powerless to our icky predator, the devil. But with God's armour, we can roll up into armoured balls and steamroll right over our advesary! Cool!

One more thing about these coolie critters...can you imagine having your own pet pill bug that would eat all the rotten stuff in your life and then poop it out to make you life more "fertile"? I DO! I would have it eat up all my impure thoughts, my selfish desires, my lack of trust.....Oh, this pill bug would be fed to the MAX! But for now, this pill bug is a picture of the Holy Spirit in my life....He doesn't EAT the rotten stuff...HE TRANSFORMS IT! And makes something beautiful of my life.
II Corinthians 3:17-18

"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into His likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit."

Take care and keep those comments coming! What would YOUR pill bug eat?

Destined for greatness........

2006-08-05T16:20:00.000-07:00

Ever feel this way? I think my mom sent me this picture a while back...just to make me laugh. But there are days when I feel like this.....a little revealed, uncovered, like my worst features are on display. And bikinis NEVER look good anyway!

Hippos are interesting creatures....have you ever seen one in a yellow-polka-dot bikini? I didn't think so! And did you know that hippos secrete their own special sunscreen out of their pores and this is what gives them their pinky-orangey-brown color? Did you know that they spend most of their day submerged under water with only their mouth, ears, and eyes above the surface to prevent sunburn? And did you know that they only go in search of food when the sun goes down and then they eat short grasses until the sun comes up....sometimes 500 pounds of grass!!?? And did you know that they can stay under water for up to 5 minutes? And did you know that they are extremely territorial and males will mark their territory and status by gathering up females around them? Sounds like a few humans I know!! Just kidding....but really, they are interesting animals....related to the pig apparently! So all this to say...I've never really given much thought to hippos, but after reading up on them, I'd say that they are pretty fantastic....so what does this have to do with the Lord??

Well, I was chatting with an acquaintance at a restaurant today and she was saying that a friend of hers cannot believe in God because God and the belief in God is not logical.....we chatted a bit about the differences between God's logic and man's logic. There is a BIG difference and yet, look at the hippo....the fact that he has sunscreen secreted from his pores to protect his skin from the sun is sooo logical! What "big bang" or other theory could create an animal with its own sunscreen and what theory could be more logical than a creative and logical God saying the 'word' and it coming to life? So cool. Maybe we just don't take a close enough look at creation.....the hippo shows the greatness of God's creation....the attention to detail.....the art of the artist. Maybe I'll check out woodbugs (pill bugs) tomorrow....I've always wondered what was so great about them.....

Have you found something that has totally blessed your socks off?
Be blessed and keep those comments coming!

What a MAN!

2006-08-03T09:39:00.000-07:00

Let me tell you why I have the most amazing husband ever....this picture was taken at Lighthouse Park here in Vancouver last week. Tim and I went on a hike to a secluded and beautiful spot within the giant park and ate a dinner of pasta and tiramisu on the cliff's edge. Ahhh.

But you know how there's a passage in Proverbs that speaks about the character of a woman? (it's Proverbs 31 if you're interested). Well, there isn't a clear single passage geered totally toward the character of a man....like a list of characteristics that teach men how to be men or how to be good husbands. God just tells men to love their wives the way Christ loves the church. (Ephesians 5:25-26 "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word").

So what does that really mean? I'm looking into that and I have some ideas given the fact that Christ is very intentional and clear in the way He loves His church, His kids. Although I don't know the full extent of the passage above, I know my hubby is awesome at displaying Christ's love to me in very tangible ways.

Ya know, he told me that he would rather hang out with me and do nothing than go anywhere with his friends!? We work together 24-7, too! He challenges me on my thinking when it is totally off....he sets up strong, healthy boundaries with those around him, including the people who expect the most from him. He recognizes when I am getting overwhelmed and graciously tends to my needs. He will rub my back at bedtime until I fall asleep and will always pray just before bed when I ask him to.... he always prays FOR ME first. He encourages me to not "sweat the small stuff" and says "thank you for making dinner" even when it stinks! He takes a firm stand around others that I am the one he prefers and talks positively about me in public. He is never threatened by my joining him in his hobbies and will willingly accompany me on silly outings that I just don't feel like doing alone. He runs errands whenever needed without complaining and even picks me up a coffee or flowers on the way! When I can't sleep at night he will write limmericks in his head and recite them to me to make me laugh....
He always puts down the toilet seat and will water my garden for me. Yes, it's clear I could go on and on and perhaps he would be good at writing a manual for hubbies, but I must say, we have been through some terribly rough times, too. Between the grace of God, His giving us wisdom and the determination to love each other no matter what the circumstance, overcoming obstacles has become a guarantee. I am so thankful for my man. I just had to let you all know how blessed I am.

PS. Sorry for the lack of postings....things have been busy here and next week I will be in Oregon visiting my family, so I will try to post a few before I leave! Blessings to you all and keep the comments coming!

Ahhhh.....peace.

2006-07-30T17:37:00.000-07:00

Thanks for the comments everyone! I love learning from you all!

Tim and I went photo-hunting with Uncle Bob on Thursday and had a wonderful time! At one point, Tim graciously gave me the camera and I took this picture. Something about the lighting and reflection on the water brought me some peace....as did the company that day, too!

We got up at 5 am, showered and headed over to Uncle Bob's house to catch the sunrise over the mountains. Despite the tiredness of getting up at the crack of dawn, it was one of the most peaceful times of my week.

As many of you know, I've been having a pretty rough time lately. My husband ROCKS and I am soooo incredibly grateful for him and I genuinely love my life and God's divine intervention and presence in it. I am blessed.

But deep inside there is a great pain that seems to increase daily. Though I have tried to disect it and pinpoint where the pain is from, I only come up with a general sense of burn-out and a tiny list of "mini-issues" that really don't matter that much in the whole scheme of things. Uncle Bob listened to my plight and lovingly kicked 'me bum'....I am learning to say 'no' when people ask things of me that I cannot give....I am learning to trust the identity Christ has given me rather than the identity that others around give me....I am learning that God is the only One who can efficiently and wisely plan my (and Tim) future .........that I am not responsible to anyone but God....that unless HE tells me to do something, I don't have the responsibility or pressure to achieve it...I am learning that I don't have to be friends with everyone and that I am valuable no matter whether I am meeting all or none of the needs of those around me......and finally, I am learning that my time and my friendship are valuable and precious things that should not be taken advantage of.

Now all of this may sound selfish and somewhat mean.....it does to me, too. But what I am learning is that setting up healthy boundaries keeps me from burning out and losing the energy to serve others. If I am burned-out or feeling overwhelmed, it could be that I need some time to focus on GOD'S purposes for me right now.....HE may want me to take some time out to focus on Him and what HE thinks of me rather than give until I am empty and no longer have anthing to give. Boundaries are not a sign of weakness or a lack of compassion, care, or concern.....they are a tool that God gives to avoid burn-out, hurt, despair AND they give us the clue that we are valuable to God...we NEED time to stop working, stop focusing on everyone else and their needs and the desire for their approval. We NEED to take time to hear (without distraction) what God REALLY thinks about us.

My sister-in-law sent me a bunch of passages from the Psalms this week....she has been such a blessing in this weird time, thanks to my friend and sister AGAIN!.....anyways, one of the things that hit me was just how many Psalms there are and how LONG they are......King David must have taken long alone times with the Lord in order to write those.....writing them with the distraction of running a kingdom must have been BRUTAL and yet he took time away from 'it' to focus solely on the Lord....to pray, fast, sing, and worship without anyone around and without distraction. Oooops. The last time I really focused on God's true heart for me and really listened to His desires for me was a while ago. I know what I should be doing this week! I'm busy setting boundaries with the Lord.
One of the passages my sister-in-law gave me was Psalm 30 from the Message:

6 "When things were going great I crowed, "I've got it made. 7 I'm God's favorite. He made me king of the mountain." Then you looked the other way and I fell to pieces. 8 I called out to you, God; I laid my case before you: 9 "Can you sell me for a profit when I'm dead? auction me off at a cemetery yard sale? When I'm 'dust to dust' my songs and stories of you won't sell. 10 So listen! and be kind! Help me out of this!" 11 You did it: you changed wild lament into whirling dance; You ripped off my black mourning band and decked me with wildflowers. 12 I'm about to burst with song; I can't keep quiet about you. God, my God, I can't thank you enough."

Thanks, King David, for setting up some boundaries. Be blessed.