Water under the bridge.....

I am often humbled and flabberghasted by the forgiveness of the Lord. It's frightening to realize that no matter what I do, the Lord still sees me as blameless....I ask Him to forgive me and give me the courage and strength to stop certain behaviours and He provides. Who can do this besides the Lord? Who can forgive and forget the things that have hurt and offended? I certainly struggle with this. I am in awe of His grace. Psalm 130:3-5 (NIV) says,
"If You, O LORD, kept a record of sins,
O Lord, who could stand?
But with You there is forgiveness;
therefore You are feared.
I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in His Word I put my hope."
Perhaps when King David was writing this, he was not just stating the facts, but was having trouble really allowing it to penetrate his soul.....maybe that's why he was 'waiting' for the Lord....I mean, really, the statement that the Lord keeps no record of wrongs and gives forgiveness instead of judgement is pretty intense. I know my "humanness" seeks justice and has trouble operating in a state of grace. Most of the time I would prefer for God to strike me down with a lightening bolt or something when I do wrong because at least then I could FEEL like I'd been punished. I desire justice and hate my sin......and yet, God chooses to give me mercy....and where would I be without it? That's when I wait...wait for Him and hope in His word .....and that's when He comes....gently reminding me that my true identity is "beloved" covered in the cleansing freedom of Jesus' blood shed for me. He picks me up and tells me that His strength will pour into me so that my sin cannot control me. And then I sin again.....and He does it again.....and I sin again....and He cleanses me again. What grace. I wish I had that much grace for myself. Mmmmm. God is sooooo good.