Ahhhh.....peace.

Thanks for the comments everyone! I love learning from you all!

Tim and I went photo-hunting with Uncle Bob on Thursday and had a wonderful time! At one point, Tim graciously gave me the camera and I took this picture. Something about the lighting and reflection on the water brought me some peace....as did the company that day, too!

We got up at 5 am, showered and headed over to Uncle Bob's house to catch the sunrise over the mountains. Despite the tiredness of getting up at the crack of dawn, it was one of the most peaceful times of my week.

As many of you know, I've been having a pretty rough time lately. My husband ROCKS and I am soooo incredibly grateful for him and I genuinely love my life and God's divine intervention and presence in it. I am blessed.

But deep inside there is a great pain that seems to increase daily. Though I have tried to disect it and pinpoint where the pain is from, I only come up with a general sense of burn-out and a tiny list of "mini-issues" that really don't matter that much in the whole scheme of things. Uncle Bob listened to my plight and lovingly kicked 'me bum'....I am learning to say 'no' when people ask things of me that I cannot give....I am learning to trust the identity Christ has given me rather than the identity that others around give me....I am learning that God is the only One who can efficiently and wisely plan my (and Tim) future .........that I am not responsible to anyone but God....that unless HE tells me to do something, I don't have the responsibility or pressure to achieve it...I am learning that I don't have to be friends with everyone and that I am valuable no matter whether I am meeting all or none of the needs of those around me......and finally, I am learning that my time and my friendship are valuable and precious things that should not be taken advantage of.

Now all of this may sound selfish and somewhat mean.....it does to me, too. But what I am learning is that setting up healthy boundaries keeps me from burning out and losing the energy to serve others. If I am burned-out or feeling overwhelmed, it could be that I need some time to focus on GOD'S purposes for me right now.....HE may want me to take some time out to focus on Him and what HE thinks of me rather than give until I am empty and no longer have anthing to give. Boundaries are not a sign of weakness or a lack of compassion, care, or concern.....they are a tool that God gives to avoid burn-out, hurt, despair AND they give us the clue that we are valuable to God...we NEED time to stop working, stop focusing on everyone else and their needs and the desire for their approval. We NEED to take time to hear (without distraction) what God REALLY thinks about us.

My sister-in-law sent me a bunch of passages from the Psalms this week....she has been such a blessing in this weird time, thanks to my friend and sister AGAIN!.....anyways, one of the things that hit me was just how many Psalms there are and how LONG they are......King David must have taken long alone times with the Lord in order to write those.....writing them with the distraction of running a kingdom must have been BRUTAL and yet he took time away from 'it' to focus solely on the Lord....to pray, fast, sing, and worship without anyone around and without distraction. Oooops. The last time I really focused on God's true heart for me and really listened to His desires for me was a while ago. I know what I should be doing this week! I'm busy setting boundaries with the Lord.
One of the passages my sister-in-law gave me was Psalm 30 from the Message:

6 "When things were going great I crowed, "I've got it made. 7 I'm God's favorite. He made me king of the mountain." Then you looked the other way and I fell to pieces. 8 I called out to you, God; I laid my case before you: 9 "Can you sell me for a profit when I'm dead? auction me off at a cemetery yard sale? When I'm 'dust to dust' my songs and stories of you won't sell. 10 So listen! and be kind! Help me out of this!" 11 You did it: you changed wild lament into whirling dance; You ripped off my black mourning band and decked me with wildflowers. 12 I'm about to burst with song; I can't keep quiet about you. God, my God, I can't thank you enough."

Thanks, King David, for setting up some boundaries. Be blessed.