"GET ME OUTTA HERE!!"

Can't ya just see this little girl saying that? I took this picture when my friend, Alissa, and I went to Granville Island a couple weeks ago. We were laughing hysterically at the many children who were fascinated by the "pretty birdies", but of course when they got too close....."AHHHGH, BAD BIRDIE!! MOMMY!!!" Pretty funny.....the expression on the little-one's face is definitely how I was feeling when I wrote the last two posts.

But then something happened....a phone call from my mom helped....the encouragement from others was awesome....I had a heavy argument with Tim that accomplished a lot... but what did it was that I gave up! Yeah....I just gave up! Gave up trying to speak up, gave up trying to stay quiet, gave up trying to "do the right thing" and just gave up all the expectations I'd laid upon myself to "fix" or help the people or situations presently pestering Tim and I...AND I dug up the garden!

As I mentioned before, I was planning on digging up my three year-old garden this fall to reestablish the sad soil and change things around a bit. That was my task yesterday....6 hours later, the garden was just dirt and a few mature (too big to move) plants.....after 3 spider bites, extremely dirty clothes, two torn gloves, dirt-filled fingernails, 2 types of fertilizer, an aching bum, 5 or 6 scratches down the arms, bruises on the legs, shaking hands and a sweaty forehead, I was ready to plant BULBS and SEEDS! The part I had worked 6 hours for! And 80 bulbs later, I was done....ready to clean up. This 6-hour distraction from the monotony of stinky life circumstances fueled me with a sense of true reality.... and as I fought all kinds of bugs, spiders, bees, and stubborn roots, Ephesians 6:11-13 came to mind....again:

"Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand."

Now how many times have I read that verse!? I have it memorized! But how often have I really taken it to comfort me and restore my peace of heart and mind!? It is supposed to be an encouragement from our Lord and I was encouraged! It brought some needed clarity, too....

The struggles Tim and I are going through have very LITTLE to do with the actual persons involved and everything to do with the enemy....satan....the bad one. Yeah, the people involved may be giving place to the devil, but really, I don't need to concern myself with them....just the underlying spirits that seek to destroy my relationships and steal away my peace. I could stop gardening just because the spiders bite, the bees sting, and roots are just too hard to dig up.....or I could realize that in order to enjoy the beauty of God's creation and take (a healthy) pride in a job well-done when in spring the bulbs give birth to beautiful flowers! I have to endure the pain of "the curse" (see Genesis....a 'man' has to work the soil to yield a harvest) in order to understand and experience the blessings.

Unfortunately, part of the curse is that bees NEED stingers now and spiders HAVE to bite to protect themselves....likewise....people protect themselves and their interests by being INFLUENCED and sometimes POSSESSED by the devil and essentially hurting others around them in the process.....just like my ouwie spider bites. That's where I persevere....fostering blessing in the relationships that bug me the most. But that's not to say that those people cannot help their attitudes, actions and situations, but they answer to God and have to give an account of their behavior, but they do not answer to me! This SHOULD give me joy! I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THEM! BUT!! I am responsible for my attitude and giving into depression and intimidation on account of them just lets satan have more control in their lives and mine, too. I am accountable to God and He calls me to bless them 'cuz my struggle is not against them, but FOR them....I am fighting in the spirit for their reconciliation and righteousness. Still....I struggle to do even that....but I am a work in progress. Be blessed!