Humbled....again.

Many blessings to you all! I pray things are peaceful in your worlds....it's snowing again here. Annoying as it can be, it really does give a sense of peace and calmness.

I have to say, I was overwhelmed by the comments left on last post. I was truly blessed. And humbled. I wish I could be more like the person you described, but I am a work in progress, right? Good thing, too!

This pic is of my niece, Justice. I love the way she is curiously peering right into the center of the camera as if to say, "Yes, you have my attention....what do you want!?" She doesn't seem to have any fear of me getting just inches away from her face....yet if I had been any closer, she would've slobbered the camera....she's teething...enough said.

She looks so confident and fearless.... at only 6 months-old, she can read a room from top to bottom in seconds....her eyes scan every piece and her hands reach out to whatever she desires....fearlessly. You have to watch her, too, because she'll take whatever you have right out from under you! She's driven.....fearless.

I want to be like that....not teething and slobbery!...but confident, fearless and reaching for everything the Lord places in my path. As Tim and I fund raise, pack, sell, and buy for the Philippines, there is a large part of me that struggles with fear. It isn't a fear of typhoid, AIDS, planes crashing, icky water, lack of money, a new culture, another language, distance from all family and friends, security, and a lack of possessions.....it's a fear of not being able to grasp and retain all the information and skill of midwifery....a fear of reading my textbooks and getting to the last chapter only to realize I have NO IDEA what I've been reading!

You might say, "That's silly! There are so many other things to worry about, B!" But truly....school was tough the first time and university even more so....what makes me think I can grasp medical terminology? Well......all I can say is that it is the grace of God! I really believe His grace is what is going to get me through the next couple of years! Yes, for now, the finances keep me awake at night, but during the day, my mind is filled with medical "mumbo-jumbo", pieces of puzzles that don't seem to match.

But then I look at Justice's pic and remember that even when I was her age, God knew and predestined me to go to the Philippines to learn and practice midwifery in His name. So He knows my fear and He knows what I need. Whew....maybe I'll sleep better tonight!

Be blessed and please pray for me if I pop into your head this week! Thanks!