"Challenged even more....."

Greetings! Tim took this candid pic a month ago when the sun was just beginning to peak out giving us notice that spring was on its way....I look deep in thought....as I am today.

My last post dealt with clearly a sensitive issue and I am still processing all of it. It's amazing to me that God allows us so much grace to wrestle with life and faith issues in search for His truth. Instead of always pointing to the answers, He leads us on rabbit trails and windy roads to experience and grapple with His words.....always to build our character and become more like Him. That's my greatest desire.

After re-reading my previous post, I found it to be far more "pro-Gary Chapman viewpoint" than I actually intended. I was reminded of a prophetic word over me almost a year ago that shared that my life was to be "a labor of love"...at that time I did not know that I'd be sharing in the physical "labor" of a woman giving birth as well as laboring in the emotional and spiritual in serving overseas.

The reason I bring this up is that my previous post lacked a self-sacrificing element that God has required of me. The "relief from self-condemnation" as I wrote, was not really a relief from self-condemnation, but relief from personal sacrifice and responsibility to fight to forgive. For that, I repent. Forgiveness when God asks it of me is part of my life being a "labor of love".

However, my thoughts have changed on the subject of forgiveness as a result of Chapman's lecture, but not as much as I originally thought. I think Chapman's point of view lacks balance and self-sacrifice. Forgiveness is a sacrifice. But I also believe there is a distinct difference between 'forbearance' and forgiveness and I think that without forgiveness, there can be no reconciliation.....but I also believe that reconciliation requires the desire of the two people to be reconciled....I don't think you can be reconciled to someone who does not want to be reconciled, too. And sometimes I think forgiveness is not warranted, but forbearance is. Mmmm. Still sorting through that one.

Polar opposites are represented in my last post with my mother-in-law and Gary Chapman's teaching....however, I think that both sides are lacking a balance. I don't know what the balance is, but I desire to learn God's truth in the matter and I don't think we, as Christians, have it right. I don't think we ever will this side of heaven. But I am grateful for the discussion and I am sorry if my response to Chapman's teaching offended or discouraged any readers. The passages I listed in last post are still passages I am re-reading and grappling with.

On that note, I am grappling with soooo much right now....ill-timed as it may be, I know God is speaking. Be blessed.