The SLR and the 13 year-old.....

Greetings! This weekend my brother and sister-in-law visited with their two precious kids and we had a BLAST! I'll give more details and share what God taught me next post, but I thought I'd go in order of past events.

I posted this Tim picture because it reminded me of our weekend....three peas in a pod 'cuz one rolled away..... :(

Our 13 year-old boy has been in our program for over 4 years. He is a very silly and hyper kid....though very endearing. I cannot share with you the extent of his difficulties because of confidentiality issues, so I will just say that this boy has many developmental and behavioral issues that are not his fault.

His behavior over the passed year has turned into that of a teen heading toward a life of jail and drugs. He had begun to steal...starting with food and then iPods, PSPs, toys, and money. Then he started to get really defiant and became fascinated with fire. When he started burning paper in his room, his foster family had to let him go in order to keep their other children safe.

Then he moved into home after home lighting things on fire and growing in defiance. Last week, he moved into a group home with older teens. He was still coming to see us and though we had to search his bag and pockets every time, he was still the silly endearing boy we always knew. He never stole anything from us or was overly defiant. He was tough, but nothing was directed towards us. He even allowed us to help him write a letter to his biological mom and foster mom to share with them how sorry he was for stealing from them and yet how angry he is at them. We thought he was going through some healing......

When he came this weekend, he was 'bragging' about his new smoking habit and the loose rules of his new group home. He said he could go where he wanted and stay up as late as he wanted watching movies and chatting with girls. We had to laugh a bit because we knew the stories he was telling were a bit 'overcooked'. But it led to his first ever: "I don't want to be here...I want to go back to the group home."

SHOCK! He used to LOVE coming here ....that is, until he got a taste of real freedom...and not the good kind. His behavior turned belligerent and he was so eager to get home that we finally took him back after 24 hours.

Upon entering the car, Tim noticed his SLR camera was missing.....just to make sure, he went and spoke to our boy and the staff at the group home. They hadn't seen it in their searching through his things he brought home, so Tim left VERY distraught. It took us over 6 months to raise enough money for that camera and it was a very special gift given to Tim for his birthday last year. He'd only had it since February and photography was to be a small source of income upon our arrival in the Philippines. Tim was beside himself, but still needed to go and lead worship at the Sunday evening service at our church.

We couldn't afford a new camera and as he left for church, my heart sank and I made a few phone calls to our close friends and family to pray. I sat on the couch and cried and prayed...not because the camera was lost, but because I knew our boy had taken it and he had never stolen from us before....this, inevitably, would have to change the status of our relationship.

After praying for a while, I called the group home again to talk to our boy to tell him that if perhaps, maybe he FOUND the camera for Tim, that I would give him a reward of $50....he said nothing. But the group home staff mentioned that they'd be doing a thorough check in all the rooms before bedtime and they would keep me posted.

A couple hours went by and no word. Then the phone rang.....

Sure enough, hidden in the box springs of our boy's bed was Tim's $1600 SLR and a host of other stolen property. Upon finding it, our boy became verbally abusive and violent. My heart was grateful for the camera and heavy for our kid. This was not just a little thing....this was a big deal. The home asked us to press charges, but something in us just couldn't....

We know we can't have him back in our home because he is a danger to the other kids and to us, but our hearts break as we have to release him to God and hope for the best. The future doesn't look good for him. When Tim met with him later that night, he refused to talk to him and after every word said, "I don't care what you say." We've just become another broken relationship to him that he needed to sabotage himself before us moving away did it for him. Unfortunately, it was 2 months too early. I wasn't ready and neither was Tim. We're praying for a better outcome. And for now, we have to focus on the little lives God has entrusted to us for the next 2 months.

Whew. Next post will be far more uplifting, I promise. :) Be blessed.